cookie crumbs

(march 20, 2007)

i have been in the baking mood lately. i have had 2 butternut squash(es?) sitting in my pantry (or larder as we discovered people from that other commonwealth country in the northern hemisphere call it) and i really wasn’t sure how much longer they would keep so i had my housekeeper cut it up today so i could make some cookies with it. i was trying a new recipe and it did cross my mind that cookies with squash in them might not turn out so well, but i think the existence of squash on the list of ingredients was the least of my worries. the cookies flattened out too much, got stuck to the cookie sheet, and crumbled when i attempted to remove them.

cumbly cookies are not such a problem. the real problem lies in the little known fact that there are actually no calories in crumbs. i know, perhaps you had not heard this before and you are right now questioning everything you thought you knew about the universe, including doubting those other well-known theories like gravity and relativity. but ‘tis a fact long acknowledged that there are no calories in crumbs.

of course the problem i faced tonight is not that there are no calories in crumbs but that when you bake dozens of cookies that are all crumbling, that leaves A LOT of calorieless crumbs to be eaten. and eaten they were. but even if cookie crumbs don’t have calories in them, they still make you feel really gross after eating so many. yuck.

and the worst part is that i am still wondering what went wrong with the cookies. why would cookies go so flat and crumbly? i will pass this one over to the resident baker for her contemplation and assessment.

but those crumbs sans calories? delicious. really too bad they didn’t stay in a more stable form.

if i being honest, i am quite alarmed at the wealth of words i could come up with tonight to discuss my baking mishap. i sound like an old gran. a hip old gran sure, but still an old gran. does it count that i was drinking a beer while i was baking? cause i was. so there.