oversized thoughts

my trip to windsor and toronto, ontario was an interesting one.  at the same time that i was attempting to wrap my head around the challenges of protecting victims of human trafficking within canada's system, the first charges of human trafficking were laid in calgary, making me the woman of the hour in terms of media interviews.  radio, print, and television, i did them all.  and loved it.

after all that thinking, articulating, and networking, i was ready for a rest and some excitement of a different kind in toronto.

but i was in a strange headspace the entire time i was there.  i am sure trying unsuccessfully to make a scheduled dinner happen didn't help, but i felt as though i didn't belong in toronto.  and yet, when i thought about where i am in calgary, i haven't been sure that this is where i belong either.  i feel in some ways like i have more to offer the world than what it is getting from me right now. 

sitting around and talking policy, human rights, and international conventions felt more right than what i do at my desk monday-friday.  and yet, i don't think i have it in me for another bug change at the moment or the near future.  i think all this back and forth and this and that was exhausting so when i arrived in toronto, my head was full of thoughts that still have no answer and i had visiting to do.  which is tiring itself.

it was a good trip and i am not complaining in the slightest, but it filled my heads with lots of thoughts that will take some time to think through.  good thing i have some long-haul flights in my near future!

the most wonderful time of the year...

an update, because it has just been too long, but i will keep up my regular posting after this short hiatus.

• there was no date in toronto.  there were text messages.  there were telephone calls.  but there was no date, which was a shame, because i looked dazzling.
• i have been off my arse busy after the first charges of human trafficking were laid in calgary!
• i am watching Julie & Julia at the moment (from my home office, aka, my couch) and am loving it.  just what i needed.
• this saturday, at a christmas party, i will be sporting this frock.  but a question for you, internet, how do you make it appear as though you have cleavage when you cannot wear a bra?
• i am overwhelmed with all i have to do before leaving for england in 9 days!  hotels.  rental cars.  visits with friends here and there.  packing, ew, packing.  christmas shopping.  house cleaning.  work.  and then some more work.

when fantasy and reality collide

my trips to windsor and toronto are all booked up.  already, my schedule is full.  a meeting with colleagues.  a 2 day forum on trafficking.  a christmas party.  a date.  a brunch.  a lot of talking, no doubt.  yay. 

yay in a way that i still cannot comprehend and now it seems weird to say too much because where i used to make jokes about things that i never thought would happen, they have all of a sudden become my personal life.  and the personal life of someone else, which was always my policy not to blog about.  read between the lines, if you like.

and i realised that i never did update you on the status of my trip this christmas.  i'm currently in the stages of preparing for a 12 day roadtrip around ireland with a girlfriend.  i am most looking forward to staying in a posh hotel for christmas eve, the christmas lunch, drinking guinness, and meeting irish people (including a former coworker who has invited us to stay with her in cork!).  the part that i am not so looking forward to is the dent this is going to be putting in my pocketbook.  and learning how to drive standard on the other side of the road!

flying colours

well, i passed my allergy test and i am officially allergy free.  so what causes my constant congestion and ickiness?  dust, dryness, the environment.  none of which i can get rid of.  the allergist suggested that i move to hawaii.  hmpf.  as positive as this is, i really did want an answer to my congestion, but i suppose not having a problem is good news.  and it means that sinus rinses are the way forward.

he also checked my lungs for asthma and i scored 100% on all three measures that they test for.  he said that that rarely happens, which is music to a type a personality's ears.  all that running, never smoking a cigarette in my life, and not being overweight are sure paying off!

i list

shamelessly stolen from k.

I Am – blessed.  which is really not a word i used very often, but i was thinking the other day that i really am blessed.

I Want – to understand how to help others without being condescending or patronising.

I Have – rather big feet for my stature.

I Wish – i could do more.

I Hate – very few things.  and try not to use the word 'hate' in my daily life after i once said i 'hated' a song and my friend called me on it and said that was a lot of negative energy to put in the world.  i agreed.

I Fear – loosing control, having surgery, blood tests, and birds when they flap their wings when they are taking off.

I Hear – the din of my cubicle farm.

I Search – for comfortable socks and underwear.  and myself on google.

I Wonder – where i will be in 2 years', 5 years', and 10 years' time.

I Regret – nothing.  there is a lot i wish never happened, but i don't regret it.  if that makes sense.

I Love – my family.  they are the funniest people i know.

I Ache – when i eat chocolate or ice cream.

I Always – use q tips to clean my ears.

I Usually – do not get enough sleep.

I Am Not – sure what i want to be when i grow up.

I Dance – like a white girl.

I Sing – at home when i am alone and wonder if anyone can hear me.

I Never – wear mismatched socks.

I Rarely – just have one glass of red wine.

I Cry – when i am really happy.

I Am Not Always – punctual, even though i wish i was.

I Lose – my cool when i feel as though i am being manipulated or forced to do something against my will.

I’m Confused – about climate change.  and carbon capture.  and if we are really doomed no matter what we do or don't do.

I Need – to have my hair coloured.

I Should – eat more regular and balanced meals.

I Dream – in bollywood, sometimes.

I Hope – that my trip to toronto is lots of excitement and fun.

I Feel – a bit useless today.

I Appreciate – my family more now than ever before.

keeping it safe

i took an internet and social networking security workshop yesterday at my office and i learned a few things that i thought i would share in case they are useful to anyone else.

• do not post status updates about your whereabouts, especially if you are going to be out of town.  in fact, the police will now ask you if you posted online if you would be away when they investigate break and enters.
• never use third party application in facebook, they do not have to follow any rules set by facebook and can have harmful effects on your computer or system.
• make sure you have anti-virus software installed AND that it is turned on.
• banks have decreased their liability for covering fraudulent charges with the new chip and pin cards, so you should be exceptionally protective of your pin (unlike i was today during a visa purchase when i had to look up my pin and was obtuse about making obvious what i was doing).
• have other manners of communicating with your contacts so that if you social networking site is hacked into and someone claims to be you, you can clarify it immediately before money is sent or your reputation is damaged.
• set up a google alert for your name so you will be notified if anything new is posted on the internet about you.  this goes along with googling yourself to see what is out there (especially important to those of us dating or looking for a job, because you know they are doing it too!)
• you do not own any of the material posted on facebook (and most other social networking sites), including wall posts, photos, and videos.
• if you would like something removed from facebook or youtube because it has you in it, just email the company and they will likely have it removed rather than have to deal with lawsuits.
• canada's privacy laws are making it difficult for facebook as they have to change some of their practices to be in compliance with our systems and laws.

some of it seems pretty simple, but a few of them i had never thought of before.  if you get the chance to take such a workshop, i do recommend it.

give it to the universe

it turns out that i am going to do better than i thought with my eight for twenty eight goals that i set earlier this year.  the one that i wasn't going to do as well as i had hoped was # 7 - visit friends who live in other places.

but it turns out that i get to experience more success with this goal than i previously expected because when i go to the conference on human trafficking in windsor, ontario next week, i have to fly through toronto and it just makes sense to stick around after the conference and visit with three of my favourite people who happen to live there.  one is a friend from high school (although we weren't actually friends in high school), one is her lovely boyfriend, and the other is my former boss who has since become a sort of mentor.  it promises to be a fantastic visit, no matter what we do.

this does mean that i will have to miss out on some fun back here in calgary, but i think it will be worth it to spend some additional time in the t dot.  and i am giving this one to the universe and i am confident that there is a reason i am going, even if i won't find out until later.

and if a certain someone decides to reply to my email then there might also be a rendezvouz of sorts in the big city.  that would be grand, just grand.

looking into the crystal ball

my girls and i had our monthly ladies' night last night and this time, to make it a little more interesting, we invited a psychic to join us and to do readings while we enjoyed our wine and tarts.  here is what she said:

• i should be a teacher or be teaching people, that is what i am here to do
• i will be moving to toronto in march or april and it will be for a job
• i try to be a master of whatever i choose to do
• i will likely go back to school to do a phd and this will be somewhere in eastern canada
• i might not have children because my life will revolve around my career and my husband
• my future is very positive
• my life will have many recurring patterns, a number of endings and beginnings
• my emotional health is good now and to keep it good, i should always exercise
• whoever i am meant to marry is in toronto and i am supposed to meet him next fall and it might be someone from my past, someone i have met a few years ago
• my brothers are going to be aok, even though one will experience various challenges, but he will just need us to let him know we care

and what do i think about all this stuff?  that much of what i heard made a lot of sense and makes me happy and excited about the future.  i think that i would like to have a family one day so i am doubtful that i would focus only on my career and not have children.  and i am not too sure what was going on with me marrying someone i already know because i really cannot think of someone i already know (unless of course we are talking about a certain someone that i met last week!) and the flip side of that is that i will meet someone next fall, but that just feels so far away!

going back to uni, getting a phd, and becoming a professor though?  absolutely!  i would love to and i think that being a form of a teacher or sharer of wisdom sounds like a good life plan for me.

never forget

'never forget:

justice is what love looks like in public'

~ dr cornel west

i had the opportunity to see the film call + response last night and it is such a well crafted piece of advocacy on human trafficking as well as a few hours of solid entertainment.

if you love music, demand social justice, and want to support worthy causes, see this movie and then buy the soundtrack on itunes.

i think this deserves an 'omg'

i can't even begin to tell the internet how fantastic and amazing last night's event was.

and how even more fantastic and amazing the email i received this morning is!