i'll have more of the same

finally, it seems that 2010 has cleaned up its act and has decided to stop being such a jerk.

as mondays go, this one was pretty stellar.  and why?

• not waking up to an alarm
• still smiling from the high of getting together with my new book club full of wonderful, dynamic women
• a new outfit of a skirt on the sale at the gap and a shirt that fits perfectly from my sister paired with a bold necklace with a giant flower and my favourite italian boots purchased in ireland
• checking off and throwing away my To Do list at work
• an hour long presentation to the most notorious of the law enforcement agencies in canada (you just try breaking into our borders!) met with positive feedback
• won ton soup
• proofing the text for an ad that i will appear in
• setting up a meeting with someone who wants to learn more about my 'consulting services'
• an invitation for a south african wine drinking and luggage packing date
• a raise.  a totally unsolicited raise!  a potentially retroactive raise!!
• a meeting with my volunteers who continue to inspire me, challenge me, and humour me
• purchase of a wall hanging off etsy to bring a little feng shui into my nest
• a new episode of weeds
• a glass of dry red wine

long may it last.

eight for twenty eight - monitoring and evaluation

1 - get enough sleep.  oh, i took this to a whole. new. level. before christmas and i think that a change in medication and a vacation managed to get me back to sleeping like a normal person and not like a zombie (zombies sleep during the day a lot, right?).  i think that i kept my health and my sleeping priorities throughout 28 and it resulted in a lot happier and astute me.  i think now the challenge will be to find ways to keep my energy up throughout the day and to get to bed a decent hours so i don't feel like i need to sleep an extra hour before heading into work (and this is one of the many reasons why i love being a consultant!).

2 - buy a home. i think it is safe to say that i rocked this goal right outta the water!  my nest continues to be a home and i continue to love it.

3 - reduce my level of anxiety. overall, i am doing really well with this.  i still have moments where i can feel my breath quickening, but now i recognise what it is and take steps to bring my anxiety to an acceptable level.  i don't think i will ever completely overcome anxiety that comes with taking the bus, new social situations, or when life decides to overwhelm you, but i surely have developed some pretty good coping and identifying skills, which will continue to help keep me sane.  literally.

the proof that i have achieved this goal is that i am not worried about the future and am instead confident that although i have no idea what is coming in 2010, in 29, or the next decade, i sense that it will be pretty damn good.

4 - take better photos. i think that i learned a lot through my course, a lot of the technical side at least.  however, i am not completely confident with my ability to now apply it to my photography practice.  i took a lot of photos in ireland (and would have taken a lot more had it not been for frozen fingers and the lack of fingerless gloves), but i kept my camera on the green idiot box and didn't really test out my knowledge.

in the spring there is a follow-up course that i am going to take that is all about taking photos on location with an instructor and that hands-on learning will likely solidify a lot of the knowledge currently buried deep in the recesses of my cerebral lanscape.

this goal is linked to #2 as well because i have printed off a number of my photos from all over the world, framed them, and hung them.  nothing like unique and homemade artwork to make a nest nestier!

5 - become financially confident.  so i bought a file folder.  with an accordian-like filing system.  i will file my receipts in this.  maybe one day i will graduate to actually making an investment or contributing to my rrsp.  this was a bit of a failure as far as 28 is concerned.  but i bought a house, can we talk more about that?!  because that is sort of like financial confidence, right?  sort of?!

6 - be happy where i am. i am.  simple as that.  not wondering where i will head next.  not complaining about where i am, the state of my career, or why i haven't achieved more.  happy.  content.  excited as i think of the future.  done and done.

7 - visit friends who live in other places. when i first made this goal, i had some pretty specific places in mind to visit.  that list would include chicago, washington dc, ottawa, and maybe even alaska.  where did i end up travelling and visiting friends?  toronto, sheffield, cobh!  not exactly as i had expected, but i did get to visit old friends who recently relocated, a dear friend from grad school, and a new friend who i had actually never met face-to-face, but who i 'knew' through a previous working relationship.

i think that i can put more effort into this goal in the future and make sure that i get to see those people and places that i mentioned above, along with taking other opportunities as they arise.

8 - make the best dating decisions for me (the goal formally known as sort out my relationship).  i think that i have achieved this goal in both its former and current incarnations!  i sorted out my relationship (good riddance to bad rubbish is a saying that comes to mind) and i made a lot of decisions about dating this past year and all of them were the best that i could have done for me.
 
i went on blind dates, i allowed myself to be set up by friends, i tried online dating, i ended things when they no longer suited my needs, i allowed my thoughts and assumptions to be challenged, i got to know A LOT of very eligible bachelors, i made a few new friends, i have been sent gifts from foreign countries, i have made a lot of new facebook friends, and i am still single.  not to say that this is a failure of any sort because i think that as my goal was to make good dating decisions, i have done just that.
 
it will be interesting to see what 29 holds in terms of dating and relationships, but i think as far as goals go, all i can do is what is under my control and that is continue to make the best decisions for me!
 
now, i still have a few more weeks of 28 left, but i am making the assumption that nothing is going to change so drastically in the coming weeks that would affect the way that i see my eight for twenty eight goals over the past 50 weeks!

the emerald isle

oh ireland.  how i loved ireland. 

i loved irish boys, irish beer, irish radio, irish scenery, irish hospitality, irish restaurants.  i didn't love irish weather though.

cold, cold, cold.  that was all i felt for two full weeks although it only ever got to -3.  but it didn't take away from venturing to the following places:

• dublin - staying in a fancy hotel, wandering the streets on christmas day, introduction to irish pubs, invitations from strangers, window shopping at clarks, guinness!
• kilkenny - a lovely castle, a really large bar that would have been fantastic had there been more than one bathroom in the entire place, a hotel room above a pub, my first true irish breakfast (sans black and white puddings), graveyards, long walks, fish and chips, smithwick's ale, learning that it is pronounced 'smithicks'
• cobh - staying with a 'new' friend, sharing bottles of wine until the wee hours, talking and talking and talking, fresh fish, mulled wine, sharing ideas about development, careers, and relationships, rock of cashel, murphy's stout, boot shopping
• kilarney - green rolling hills, gorgeous national park, fantastic clam chowder, a lovely little b & b, friendly people
• cliffs of moher - stressful driving at dusk, gorgeous coastal towns
• galway - happy new year!, charming company, oak bars, fresh oysters, more guinness, more boot shopping, extra long walks along the sea, warm cups of tea, my favourite irish city, italian boots
• derry - no-fun protestant north, fascinating history, fresh ira grafitti, city walls, best b & b hosts ever, more irish breakfasts, funny accents
• giant's causeway - photo shoots on the rocks, best weather of the entire trip, the ocean, beaches, surf shops, views of scotland
• belfast - terrifying history, stunning queen's university campus, even more phenomenal meals, black cab tour of the protestant and catholic areas that suffered most during the troubles, scouring marks & spencer shelves.

driving on the left was far easier than i thought it would be and we couldn't help but laugh as everytime we listened to the radio (constant lady gaga, take that, and jason derulo...) or watched tv all they could talk about were the 'trecherous conditions' and really, they weren't that bad at all.  the roads were relatively clear as it was christmas holidays and only crazies like us decided to tour around ireland in the dead of winter.

i wish i could give a further breakdown of my trip, but i am sort of sick of recapping it for anyone and everyone that asks.  but i will soon be uploading my photos to facebook so keep a look out for them there.

would i go back?  yes.  would i go again in winter?  no, but only because i would love to see many of the places in the summer not because going in the winter was a bad idea.  would i like to spend more time in fewer places?  yes.  would i like to get to connemara next time round?  yes.

easing back into it

before i even begin to talk about the wonderful trip i just returned from (and try to gloss over the horrendous flight delays, cancellations, and airlines i had to contend with to get back home), i thought i would do a relatively easy review of a few books i read on my trip that i must discuss (have i mentioned i need a book club to join?!).

Two Lives (Vikram Seth)
i had seen this book before and perhaps i didn't attempt it as i didn't get even halfway through the author's A Suitable Boy (which i know some people have raved about), but i picked it up in the dublin airport in case i made it through the other books i had with me and it is a good thing i did.  in my time at airports and hotels alone i finished all 500 pages of this beauty and i wholeheartedly recommend it.

the story is a true one and covers the relationship between a young indian man and his future german bride, all the way from when they both must leave germany before the first world war to his stint in the british army to her tracing of her jewish family's fate to the life they rebuild in england and his dental practice (with one arm!) and their relationship with numerous friends and family.

i was mesmerised with this book and gobbled it up.  i loved the transcription of letters that were written between all the 'characters' in the book and it made me think that it truly is a lost art.  the language that was used, the honesty with which they spoke to one another, and the incredible subject matter that they were required to discuss.  imagine writing to your friends about the nazis, the holocaust, the fate of your sister and mother, the betrayal of friends, and the state of post war europe in your own handwriting and language.

this seemed like such a rare story, the interracial and interreligious relationship between two people in the first half of the century and yet, as you read it, it makes perfect sense.  i sincerely insist that you pick this book up, a great way to learn more about our shared history, love, and why it is important to know where we come from.  fantastic.

The Good Mayor (Andrew Nicoll)
i finished this book begrudingly.  i didn't much care for the characters or their decisions and wasn't really sure where the 'love' in this love story was to be found.  i had to find out what happened though, so i finished it.  in the fictional town of dot, there are things like lust, obsession, and abuse, but not much love as far as i was concerned.

i have never been one for fable-like stories and this seemed one of those, something not entirely believable and not deep enough to really have a sense for who the characters were or what their intentions were.  so i was a bit disconnected throughout.

i read it, but i wouldn't recommend it.  not when there are so many fantastic books out there!

Something to Tell You (Hanif Kureishi)
after watching an interview with Kureishi, i picked up his book having never read anything he had written and not knowing what to expect. well, was i ever in for a whirlwind!

the story is largely about the search for pleasure (or at least that is what i took away from it).  it takes places in london and london is a character unto itself in the story (which is something i always love).  the main character seems to be at a crossroads that he never expected and is looking backwards and forwards to find out how to tie his loose ends while at the same time searching for something that will make him feel 'good.'  as you would expect, where he expects to find pleasure and contentment is not where he manages to find it and the twists and turns in the story are taken by the the main character, a psychoanalyst, in stride as they parallel the same search that is going on by those around him.

i am really not sure how i feel about this book apart from it really made me think and the characters are still alive within my mind.  and yet, did i enjoy it?  not particularly.  i liked the story, but i didn't like the experiences of the characters or what they were searching for.  and yet, it brings to light the fact that when anyone is seeking pleasure (and everyone does) that what they find often looks a lot more like pain, emotional or physical, but sometimes that is exactly as it should be.  and perhaps that is why i was uncomfortable with the story at times, because it was real.

i know i will be thinking of this novel for a long while, so in the meantime, if i have not done it justice, check out some other reviews at the guardian and the independent.  and if you wouldn't mind, could you please read this book so we can discuss it?!

and in this research, i found out that Kureishi and i went to the same uni in england!

my bags are packed...

well, not quite.  and i am afraid of the packing challenge that lies ahead of me.  one of my flights has a weight restriction of 15kg for checked baggage and i am not quite sure how i am going to manage this one.  i am not one who is known for their ability to pack lightly, no matter how i try.  but i am going to do my best to be economical with my space and weight and not overpack.  the key is going to be neutrals, laundry, and key pieces of clothing rather than 'options.'

almost all of our accommodations have been booked in ireland so far and i am really very much looking forward to spending christmas at the fitzwilliam hotel in dublin.  our other hotels/bed and breakfasts include:

• skeffington arms hotel
• the rafter dempsey's
• redwood country house

it seems that as the irish are serious about eating breakfast, that will be the most important meal of the day and if we play our cards right, we won't need to eat again until dinner!  i am sure that pints of guinness will keep us full too!  at least once we park our little rented mobile at each location and head out to the pubs to enjoy the local flavour of each place.

my concern is that we will be driving A LOT and not have the chance to spend as much time in each place as we would like.  but this is typically me and i am not terribly surprised at the way i have planned it.  but i will take as many photos as is possible so i can remember my favourite spots in case i ever want to return.

i am sad to be leaving my fam for the holidays, but i am very lucky to have a dear friend awaiting me at the airport in manchester.  we have years to catch up on as well as a wedding to attend!

when fantasy and reality collide

my trips to windsor and toronto are all booked up.  already, my schedule is full.  a meeting with colleagues.  a 2 day forum on trafficking.  a christmas party.  a date.  a brunch.  a lot of talking, no doubt.  yay. 

yay in a way that i still cannot comprehend and now it seems weird to say too much because where i used to make jokes about things that i never thought would happen, they have all of a sudden become my personal life.  and the personal life of someone else, which was always my policy not to blog about.  read between the lines, if you like.

and i realised that i never did update you on the status of my trip this christmas.  i'm currently in the stages of preparing for a 12 day roadtrip around ireland with a girlfriend.  i am most looking forward to staying in a posh hotel for christmas eve, the christmas lunch, drinking guinness, and meeting irish people (including a former coworker who has invited us to stay with her in cork!).  the part that i am not so looking forward to is the dent this is going to be putting in my pocketbook.  and learning how to drive standard on the other side of the road!

about time for a goal check in

1 - get enough sleep.  well, i have had some lie ins in my new nest and have loved every minute of them.  not sure that i have figured this out because i tend to get a lot of sleep on the weekends and not enough during the week, but at least i have come to understand the value of a good night's rest and what happens to me if i don't get this regularly.

2 - buy a home.  i love it.  love, love, love it.  my nest is so nesty.  and mine.  and sometimes dirty.  and sometimes spotless.  and often times the location of entertaining my friends (although i need to invite my fam over more often in the future, but that would entail securing a few more chairs!).  check!

3 - reduce my level of anxiety.  i still have bad days, but most of my days are good days and i can identify the anxiety before it hits me over the head and am slowly improving in my capacity to deal with it.  i have reduced my daily medication levels by one step and am just going to hang out here for awhile before making the next step.  but things in the anxiety department are good and i think i am getting better at acknowleding my anxiety, my triggers, and what to do to prevent it from blowing up.

4 - take better photos.  photography is technical stuff!  but i am nearly through the introductory course in photography at mount royal college (sorry, university).  i like it, i need more practice, but i think i am starting to understand equivalent exposures, f stops, and the diamond of taking good photos.  green idiot box, no more!

5 - become financially confident.  i wouldn't exactly say that i am confident, but i am doing ok.  with the current upheaval in my work and the recent home purchase, i am a little nervous, but confident that it will be ok.  i have yet to deal with my gst for the past year and am not great at keeping my books for my accountant, but we can file that under 29, can't we?

6 - be happy where i am.  this continues to go really, really well.  i never thought i woud be so content in calgary, but i am.  and am in no hurry to change that.  i did have a titch of concern that i was not utilising the summer months to their full capacity, but there were a number of other factors at work there and i will work on that one (see goal #8).

7 - visit friends who live in other places.  i have failed pretty miserably at this goal (and with only 2.5 months left of 28, there is little chance that things will turn around), but i am going to england in december for a very dear friend's wedding and am then carrying on to ireland where i will meet up with a friend from home to go on a great irish roadtrip, yippee!  beer, irishmen, and the isle of green, what more could a canadian girl ask for?!

8 - make the best dating decisions for me (the goal formally known as sort out my relationship).  i'm still dating.  blah.  i have had a great time, but i am getting a little exasperated with the whole process and after a few hopeful episodes, i am still as single as ever.  i suppose as the goal is to make good decisions, i have done that.  but in doing that, the results have not exactly borne the fruits that i had hoped they would by now.  another blah.  but i will just keep soldiering on (but with fewer soldiers and more civilians).