more ted to get you through the day

along with being sick at home on monday, i have also had a lot of reporting to do at work, the kind where you can just plug your earphones in and power through it.  it is essential to have something interesting to listen to and watch, when you need a break.

and because i just can't keep good ideas to myself, here are a few more ted talks, if you also have some time to kill over the holidays.

sheryl sandberg, the chief operation officer at facebook talks about the three reasons we don't have more women in leadership roles.  i just kept thinking, 'oh yeah,' 'uh huh' as i was watching and listening to this.  so much so, that i sent it to two women that i work closely with who are delights to manage whereas i am constantly pulling teeth with the middle aged men that i am expected to direct and lead on a project.

here's sandberg's message in short: sit at the table, make your partner your real partner, and don't leave before you leave.

women consistently underestimate themselves and credit their success to luck or external factors.  and women are not well regarded when they achieve professional success, instead, they are often less liked because of it.

this talk is awesome and not because it is some fanatical feminist diatribe or condemning men for their treatment of men or overly academic.  awesome.

ed ulbrich, the team lead on the development of the special effects for the film The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (which i loved!), talks about how they pushed technology to its limits to create benajamin's face.

it is fascinating how they did it and to see the footage of how they used brad pitt's face and his iteration of the character to create something that didn't previously exist in more ways than one.  amazing.

books about africa

i was recently asked for an email with my suggestions on books about africa and this is what i came up with so i figured it might be useful to someone so i am also posting it here.

here are some of my favourite books about africa:

The Zanzibar Chest (Aidan Hartley) - memoir about life as a foreign correspondent in Africa and that whole post colonial guilt thing.

Sweetness in the Belly (Camilla Gibb) - fiction about a white woman who grows up in Muslim Ethiopia, amazing read.

Half of a Yellow Sun (Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie) - fiction set during the Baifran war in Nigeria, awesome and based on a lot of real events.

My Traitor's Heart (Rian Malan) - memoir of an Afrikaaner who fought against apartheid in South Africa, truly explores the white guilt and the issue of Africanness, I think you'd like it a lot.

In the Footsteps of Mr Kurtz (Michela Wrong) - journalist writes about Mobutu and his rule in the DRC, the one I was telling you about. Tough to get through at times, but you'll learn a lot about why the country remains effed to this day.

We Wish to Inform you That Tomorrow We Will be Killed With Our Families (Philip Gourevitch) - excellent account of the genocide in Rwanda and the role of the international community in prolonging the killings.

Shake Hands With the Devil (Romeo Dallaire) - the book that the commander of UN peacekeepers in Rwanda during the genocide wrote about his experience and frustrations with the UN system and watching people die, also a bit tough at times, but there is a glossary that always helps!

Don't Let's Go To the Dogs Tonight (Alexandra Fuller) - memoir of a poor, white Zimbabwean family, so interesting and an easy read.

Tick Bite Fever (David Bennun) - funny memoir of growing up white in Africa. Not fantastic, but an easy read.

Swahili For the Broken Hearted (Peter Moore) - I don't love his writing, but he did a trip through Africa riding solely on public transport and wrote about it, so there are some gems in amongst the other bits.

A Sunday at the Pool in Kigali (Gil Courtemanche) - fiction (but probably mostly true) about the expats during the genocide in Rwanda. The story will make you cry, but I loved the raw writing of the French Canadian author.

Acts of Faith (Philip Caputo) - an awesome novel about the war in Southern Sudan, the community of pilots, how the UN capitulates war, and the scandals of it all, a really great read and I know from my pilot friends that the story is true and the names were just changed.

Emma's War (Deborah Scroggins) - non fiction, about a British woman who rocks up in Southern Sudan in the middle of a civil war, marries one of the rebel war lords, becomes his second wife, and then actively participates in the war, alienating most people she knows. I also think you'd really like this as it shows the naivity and sincerity of foreign aid workers and those who feel th eneed to 'save' Africa. One of the characters in the book above is based on her, undoubtedly.

You asked for it, and there you have it! I surprised myself with how many books I could pull out of my head and I clearly could start my own post-colonial African literature course...

What can I say - I didn't have a TV for a number of years... nothing like reading a book when you are in bed with a hangover in Nairobi.

a sad day in the golden state

i had really hoped that if, during my trip to san francisco next week, i met a lovely woman who i wanted to spend the rest of my life with, i could have a quickie marriage on the shores of the bay. but that dream was dashed when the california high court upheld the ban on same-sex marriage yesterday.

there are few issues that i see as black and white and this is one of them. i have yet to hear any argument that can even begin to convince me that two consenting adults who love one another do not have the right to marry based on their gender.

and like gloria says, anyone who believes that women's rights are not intimately linked to gay rights is sorely mistaken. any time our ability to procreate is linked to the rights we enjoy, we are taking a step back not only for gay men and women who wish to marry, but to women everywhere.

worth a read

considering i live in a country where homosexuality is illegal, i found this rather interesting.

i also love his directions on how to slap!

if you're buying, make it a double

recently, i have had a few conversations about gender with some lady friends. specifically, the issue of paying for drinks, paying for dinner, and money in general keep coming up with various different opinions and thoughts on the matter. everything from 'let's go find cute boys to buy us drinks' to 'i don't accept offers as then i feel i owe him something' has come up.

i have never known exactly how i feel about this but due to my burgeoning bank account (ha!) as of late, i have really appreciated the kindness of dudes who have bought me dinner, drinks, travel expenses, etc. whether it is within the context of a relationship, dating, or just random strangers at a bar, it has challenged me to be gracious as a response to their kindness and generosity. (or take my vodka and soda water and run to the other side of the bar as quickly as is possible in heels to avoid having to make idle conversation with boring men!)

i used to have some guilt and discomfort with this but i am beginning to come around, but does that mean that i am losing my feminist spirit and will come to expect men to spend money on me? does it just mean that i am using my red lips and blonde hair for evil rather than good? or does it mean that since i will statistically make less than men in the same position as me and that i will be the one who looses out if i ever have to take maternity leave (i know it is not supposed to happen that way, but as far as i can see, it does), am i just righting the wrongs of the professional world?

just wondering what the internet thinks about this one.

i am also wondering what my mama and grandma think about this one too, because these are the things that the other generations of women might have some wisdom on. so would gloria, too bad i don't have her email address.

the reality of inequality

in my research on sexual and gender-based violence, i came across these quotes:

'Each time a person stands up for an idea, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, (s)he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.'
Robert F. Kennedy

'Violence against women is global in reach, and takes place in all societies and cultures... It affects women no matter what their race, ethnicity, social origin, birth or other status may be... Much more reamins to be done to create and sustain an environment where women can go about their lives free from this scourge.'
Kofi Annan

'Where after all do universal human rights begin? In small places, close to home... such are the places where every man, woman and child seeks equal justice, equal opportunity, equal dignity without discrimination.'
Eleanor Roosevelt

'The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.'
Albert Einstein

'[Rape] is nothing more or less than a conscious process of intimidation by which all men keep all women in a state of fear.'
Susan Brownmiller

'The day will come when men will recognize woman as his peer, not only at the fireside, but in coucils of the nation. Then, and not until then, will there be the perfect comradeship, the ideal union between the sexes that shall result in the highest development of the race.'
Susan B. Anthony

'Women are the victims of this patriarchal culture, but they are also its carriers. Let us keep in mind that every oppressive man was raised in the confines of his mother's home.'
Shirin Ebadi

'There must be no impunity for gender based violence. Let me be clear. What we are talking about is not a side issue. It is not a special interest group of concern to only a few. What we are talking about are not only women's rights but also the human rights of over one half of this globe's population... Violence against women concerns not only women but above all the rest of us.'
Sergio Vieira de Mello

'A great many people think they are thinking when they are just rearranging their prejudices.'
William James

although the material i am reading is shocking, disgusting, and appalling, i am grateful to be in the position to use it in appeals for money to combat such inequality. as a friend told me this morning, i won the lottery by being born in canada. i don't disagree.