wherein i use a few caps

ever since i woke up on january 1, 2011, i have felt a change a'coming.  i have no idea what it will be nor when it will come, but i feel ready for it.

going to new york inspired me to get my arse in gear to get out into the world again and find something else to to for a little while.  to not be afraid to leave the comforts of my home town again and to explore a little more, knowing that there is a whole lot of awesome to come home to anytime i choose.  the beauty of an economy fuelled by a commodity-driven industry that is on the up once again, i suppose.

i cleaned out my closets, giving away a bunch of stuff and consigning some others (wherein i chose not to consign my clothes at one shop because they give all the unsold merchandise to an 'orphanage in africa' and couldn't answer me which of the 50+ countries they were referring to nor why they made the orphanage pay for the shipping of the clothes to their magical unnamable part of the continent).  i updated my vaccines, passing out in the process, so that if i feed the urge to up and leave to a yellow feverish place, i will be covered (in fact, the reason i am up right now, even though it is midnight and i have a week full of early morning and it is the day of the year that daylight savings kicks your ass is because i forgot i have to take a live typhoid vaccine on an empty stomach and well, my stomach is not empty.

i have also decided to give up impatience and self doubt for lent.  yes, i know this is not in the typical spirit of lent, but i needed a time frame and well, it was conveniently timely (is saying conveniently timely redundant??).  i am reminding myself that everything has worked out thus far and will continue to do so, in a time frame that is never going to end or stop and as i have always said, there is no finish line and the whole success is not a destination thing (i think you can find some lame quote from me on the interwebs about that, actually).

i am trying to remember that an opportunity will come my way.  no sense in worrying or fretting that time is passing me by (I AM GETTING OLDER, OH MY GOD, I AM BEHIND... you get the idea).  if the past two years are any indication, opportunities find me and i do my best to put myself right in their path as best i can.  i feel as though i have done that now and so now i just wait.

but waiting is not so bad.  last week i braved the -20* temperatures and went to the joshua radin, cary brothers, laura jansen show and it was amazing.  as i said on twitter, it made me want to fall in love and break up again and again.  well, not really, but they sure did make it sound poetic and romantic and wonderful and heart wrenching.  and a concert at the former silver dollar action centre?  not so bad, especially if you like a little greasy pizza with your handsome singer/songwriters.

i followed that up with so many pints, breakfasts, coffees, and dinners with so many inspiring, intelligent, and hilarious people this past week that i was pleasantly reminded that i am surrounded by a community of people and i have a few greatest fans out there, which is always a nice boost to the confidence.

oh, and i ate at boxwood, which was a chorizon/polenta delight, had breakfast at wake in kensington, where they brew a strong cup of coffee and make mean eggs benedict, and had a perfectly poured latte at vendome cafe.  so if you are in the city, go try those newcomers to the ever expanding culinary/coffeehouse scene around these parts.

inflamed, not fractured

i spent 4 hours in the urgent care clinic yesterday and, after a kind visit from a friend who works near the clinic and utilising the wireless in the waiting area to get some work done, i finally had my foot x rayed to see if i had a stress fracture.  and the good news is that my bones are in one piece.  the bad news is that they suspect i have plantar fasciitis.

and when i googled it, the phrase 'very painful condition' came up often, great...  but it makes sense because i was hobbling around this past weekend and hadn't experienced pain that affected my mobility so drastically.  call it a learning (and humbling) experience.

and even though i am not thrilled about having an inflamed plantar fascia, i was happy to hear that i did have something wrong with me because then i felt like i wasn't wasting the time of the doctors, nurses, and emergency room staff and i was impressed with how quickly i was able to get x rays taken and read and a diagnosis made.  and it made me think that if this had gone down in the us there would be a substantial bill to pay and i might have opted against x rays because i do not have health insurance from my employer at the moment, which would mean i would have had to cancel my hike for fear of exacerbating a fracture.  scary.

my next steps are to rest my foot this week, make an appointment to see a podiatrist, and wear my birkenstocks (thank god for birkenstocks!).

have you had this or know someone who has suffered from plantar fasciitis?  any tips on what to do or not do to decrease the inflammation?    or prevent it in the future?  or how to complete a 4 day hike without pain next week??

ouch. and eek.

icy cold on a hot summer's eve

here i am again, sunday evening.  home alone.  and thrilled.  honestly.

one of my recent issues that has contributed to the wobbly moment has been the pressure i have felt to make the most of the summer months in calgary.  to take advantage of every opportunity to get outside and socialise.

and like last weekend, i feel as though i have managed quite fine.  a solid run followed by beers on the patio of one of the city's best pubs with far too many laughs between friends, a luxurious morning sitting on my own patio with coffee and a smoothie while reading my book, a saturday afternoon at the calgary folk fest listening to adorable boys play their guitars from the big rock beer gardens, and a sunday of huevos rancheros at my local breakfast spot with some mountain equipment co-op shopping in preparation for the juan de fuca trail next week and a walk in my community with an iced coffee.

but (and this is a rather large but that could alter the course of my next few weeks), i am currently sitting on my couch watching pvr'ed tv and am not cleaning my house or going for a run because i am icing my foot and ankle.  i have no idea what i have specifically done to it, but i know that it is a recurring injury that i normally keep in check with good running shoes, but wearing cowboy boots last weekend seems to have exacerbated the situation.  and standing in rubber flip flops yesterday was exceptionally painful and i am my worries continue to grow that this will not be cleared up by this friday, which is when i fly out to vancouver island.  eek.

eight for twenty eight - monitoring and evaluation

1 - get enough sleep.  oh, i took this to a whole. new. level. before christmas and i think that a change in medication and a vacation managed to get me back to sleeping like a normal person and not like a zombie (zombies sleep during the day a lot, right?).  i think that i kept my health and my sleeping priorities throughout 28 and it resulted in a lot happier and astute me.  i think now the challenge will be to find ways to keep my energy up throughout the day and to get to bed a decent hours so i don't feel like i need to sleep an extra hour before heading into work (and this is one of the many reasons why i love being a consultant!).

2 - buy a home. i think it is safe to say that i rocked this goal right outta the water!  my nest continues to be a home and i continue to love it.

3 - reduce my level of anxiety. overall, i am doing really well with this.  i still have moments where i can feel my breath quickening, but now i recognise what it is and take steps to bring my anxiety to an acceptable level.  i don't think i will ever completely overcome anxiety that comes with taking the bus, new social situations, or when life decides to overwhelm you, but i surely have developed some pretty good coping and identifying skills, which will continue to help keep me sane.  literally.

the proof that i have achieved this goal is that i am not worried about the future and am instead confident that although i have no idea what is coming in 2010, in 29, or the next decade, i sense that it will be pretty damn good.

4 - take better photos. i think that i learned a lot through my course, a lot of the technical side at least.  however, i am not completely confident with my ability to now apply it to my photography practice.  i took a lot of photos in ireland (and would have taken a lot more had it not been for frozen fingers and the lack of fingerless gloves), but i kept my camera on the green idiot box and didn't really test out my knowledge.

in the spring there is a follow-up course that i am going to take that is all about taking photos on location with an instructor and that hands-on learning will likely solidify a lot of the knowledge currently buried deep in the recesses of my cerebral lanscape.

this goal is linked to #2 as well because i have printed off a number of my photos from all over the world, framed them, and hung them.  nothing like unique and homemade artwork to make a nest nestier!

5 - become financially confident.  so i bought a file folder.  with an accordian-like filing system.  i will file my receipts in this.  maybe one day i will graduate to actually making an investment or contributing to my rrsp.  this was a bit of a failure as far as 28 is concerned.  but i bought a house, can we talk more about that?!  because that is sort of like financial confidence, right?  sort of?!

6 - be happy where i am. i am.  simple as that.  not wondering where i will head next.  not complaining about where i am, the state of my career, or why i haven't achieved more.  happy.  content.  excited as i think of the future.  done and done.

7 - visit friends who live in other places. when i first made this goal, i had some pretty specific places in mind to visit.  that list would include chicago, washington dc, ottawa, and maybe even alaska.  where did i end up travelling and visiting friends?  toronto, sheffield, cobh!  not exactly as i had expected, but i did get to visit old friends who recently relocated, a dear friend from grad school, and a new friend who i had actually never met face-to-face, but who i 'knew' through a previous working relationship.

i think that i can put more effort into this goal in the future and make sure that i get to see those people and places that i mentioned above, along with taking other opportunities as they arise.

8 - make the best dating decisions for me (the goal formally known as sort out my relationship).  i think that i have achieved this goal in both its former and current incarnations!  i sorted out my relationship (good riddance to bad rubbish is a saying that comes to mind) and i made a lot of decisions about dating this past year and all of them were the best that i could have done for me.
 
i went on blind dates, i allowed myself to be set up by friends, i tried online dating, i ended things when they no longer suited my needs, i allowed my thoughts and assumptions to be challenged, i got to know A LOT of very eligible bachelors, i made a few new friends, i have been sent gifts from foreign countries, i have made a lot of new facebook friends, and i am still single.  not to say that this is a failure of any sort because i think that as my goal was to make good dating decisions, i have done just that.
 
it will be interesting to see what 29 holds in terms of dating and relationships, but i think as far as goals go, all i can do is what is under my control and that is continue to make the best decisions for me!
 
now, i still have a few more weeks of 28 left, but i am making the assumption that nothing is going to change so drastically in the coming weeks that would affect the way that i see my eight for twenty eight goals over the past 50 weeks!

action, not awareness

i liked the message at blogher regarding the current facebook trend to say what colour your bra is on facebook as a attempt to virally raise awareness of breast cancer via social networking sites.

as an aside, i was never tempted to do it myself as it was pretty amazing to realise that very few other women wear nude coloured bras with as much frequency as i do.  maybe it is time to go undie shopping...

flying colours

well, i passed my allergy test and i am officially allergy free.  so what causes my constant congestion and ickiness?  dust, dryness, the environment.  none of which i can get rid of.  the allergist suggested that i move to hawaii.  hmpf.  as positive as this is, i really did want an answer to my congestion, but i suppose not having a problem is good news.  and it means that sinus rinses are the way forward.

he also checked my lungs for asthma and i scored 100% on all three measures that they test for.  he said that that rarely happens, which is music to a type a personality's ears.  all that running, never smoking a cigarette in my life, and not being overweight are sure paying off!

'just the way i am'

go here and check out a very positive message about how women can improve the self esteem of other women.

there is a reason why all women love the line in bridget jones' diary about mark darcy!

oink, oink

i am fascinated with the pandemic of the swine flu. i watched both the who and the canadian minister of health news conferences today and was totally impressed with the information they gave, the professionalism they exuded, and the warnings they gave to the media to keep their reporting from becoming sensational and panic stricken and to doctors in their prescription of the antivirus to treat the flu.

i also learned that those masks are not very good at preventing flu transmissions, that there is only one testing facility in canada (in winnipeg) to confirm the virus is swine flu, and the differences between the flu vaccine and the antivirus used to treat it.

at first i thought that the world was over reacting and that if people are getting the swine flu and not even needing to be admitted into the hospital, it cannot truly be such a problem. but then i washed away my western bias and realised that if a flu of this nature got into the informal settlements in the developing world or if people contract the flu in countries without the health infrastructure that we have in canada, it would be absolutely devastating.

in watching the coverage of the pandemic, it makes me want to be involved in some way. perhaps because i used to work for an organisation that has a huge migration health department, which is no doubt mobilising to address the swine flu. just as i do when i hear about disasters, conflicts, and emergency responses of other natures. maybe i am an activist at heart, or just have an adventure seeking spirit. but i am busy as bee here doing what i do, so i am quite content to stay put and wait until it is my time to get more involved again.

extra, extra! read all about it

some interesting stuff in the news today:

after sudanese president omar al bashir was indictied on war crimes charges by the international criminal court, he expelled aid agencies from darfur, including staunchly apolitical organisations like medecins sans frontieres. it is incredibly troublesome as these organisations not only provide some of the only sources of aid in a country that tightly controls the un's access to populations it has systemically starved, killed, and forced from their homes, but they also act as the world's eyes and ears to a genocide.

i have a good friend working in darfur, and for some reason her organisation was not kicked out of the country (war child canada) and i am curious to hear how she has fared these past few days and what the prospects for her youth projects continuing.

story at the globe and mail.
_________________________________________________________

i always knew that diet coke would give you cancer! if it is not the aspartame (which i am seriously convinced, with no scientific evidence to back me up) is giving us cancer (for the record, i am also convinced that splenda, margarine, cosmetics, chemical based cleaning products, and hydrogenated anything are also to blame), now it is the cans that diet coke comes in! and baby bottles, water bottles, soup cans, energy drink cans...

that dastardly bisphenol a is showing up again, this time in cans. apparently, the cans are coated so that the metal doesn't come into direct contact with the liquid inside. i've said it here before, it concerns the crap out of me that this estrogen-mimicing compound is finding its way into our bodies and doing god know's what in there. causing cancer, i am sure.

i have never really liked pop so i am home free on that front, but i do like soup and some vegetables that come out of cans, which i am now going to think twice before eating. and again, those with lower incomes, poorer diets, and lower education are probably ingesting the most bisphenol a of us all.

story at cbc.

more trip dub action

if you live in calgary and want to check if your favourite lunch place could have been responsible for that stomach bug you caught, you can check their environmental health inspection reports and see if they had any health violations on recent inspections. i am sure this information is public in most cities, but i had never thought to look it up before.

in my meandering around the www today i also found this recipe for the concoction that supposedly gets any red wine stain out. i haven't tried it on my cream coloured jacket yet, but once i buy some peroxide, i will indeed.

and this website kept me occupied for a few minutes earlier this week when i should have been working. you can make yourself into a picasso and you can see mine here. fun!

we're doomed!

i've just started some reading about ecologically friendly beauty products and have already learned:

• dying your hair darker is more dangerous than bleaching it, because the darker dyes have been linked to bladder cancer
• the most commonly used anti-dandruff shampoos usually include irritants (SLS) that dry out your scalp
• antibacterial products have triclosan and triclocarbon, which could create a carcinogen if in contact with sunlight but are not completely filtered out of our water systems so may end up back in farmer's fields, essentially fertilising our food with the nastiness
• body sugaring or threading are the most environmentally friendly method of hair removal (i've been meaning to talk to you about my moustache...!)
• all b.o. preventors seem to be bad for you, but what is the option? to stink? sweat stains?
• 'hypoallergenic' is not a government regulated term so it means nothing. same with 'allergy tested' and 'dermatologist tested'

all these interesting bits come from a book entitle Ecoholic, a good source of information even if a little simplistic and narrowly focused. the cbc also covered this story years ago and still has hods of info on their website.

bisphenol A sounds delicious

maybe i should ditch my bright pink nalgene?

and we wonder why instances of cancer are on the rise... could it possibly be all the chemicals floating around our bodies. this bisphenol apparently mimics estrogen. nice, more worries for the ladies.

3 days to go!

a list for procrastination

• i have heart burn and have had 4 orange-flavoured Tums since this morning. i am not sure that this is a lot because i never get heart burn, but it seems like a lot to me
• it has been raining a lot lately, which is no fun when i come to work and sit in my soggy pants (haha, soggy pants, but really just the bottoms of them are wet and then just stay damp all day) and freeze
• uncertainty freaking sucks. and it sucks x2 when there are 2 people involved
• it is official, i am the least patient person on earth
• yesterday i was a productivity machine, today, not so much
• i have been troubling accessing my blog lately, which is rather annoying but i did find a wireless provider that i could access from home on lucille the laptop. and people think i am roughing it...
• i have my own intern now. ok not my very own intern to make me coffee but someone to help me do my work. because i actually have real work. and that is good
• elections are in a month in kenya and there has been some pretty awful electoral violence, especially against female aspirants. just because you don't want someone to run doesn't mean you get to beat them up. start acting like a democratic country, is all i have to say
• i might get to go to a refugee camp
• i do get to go back to the coast next week and this time i am stretching out my trip for some beach time
• when other people are bustling around me and stressing out, it cramps my productivity style
• i get to go home in 20 days! and i already have a lunch date, a dinner date, a sushi date, and a cabin date

the nets work, so spread'em! - www.spreadthenet.org

NAIROBI, 16 August (IRIN) - The number of children dying from malaria has dropped sharply in areas of Kenya where the disease is endemic as a result of a campaign to provide free insecticide-treated mosquito nets to families, the United Nations World Health Organization (WHO) said.

According to the health agency, there was near ten-fold increase in the number of young children sleeping under insecticide-treated mosquito nets between 2004 and 2006 in targeted districts, resulting in a reduction of malaria-related deaths by 44 percent.

"This is the first demonstration of the impact of large-scale distribution of insecticide-treated mosquito nets under programme conditions, rather than in research settings," a WHO statement said on 16 August.

"This data from Kenya ends the debate about how to deliver long-lasting insecticidal nets," Arata Kochi, head of WHO's Global Malaria Programme, said.

The findings have encouraged WHO to recommend the free mass distribution of long-lasting nets as the most effective way of combating malaria.

"No longer should the safety and well-being of your family be based on whether you are rich or poor," Kochi added. "When these nets are easily available for every person, young or old, malaria is reduced."

Some 13.4 million nets have been distributed in Kenya over the past five years to combat a disease that threatens more than 25 million people in a population of 34 million.

"For every 1,000 treated nets used, seven children who might have died of malaria are saved," the statement said.

In the past, WHO promoted the provision of insecticide-treated mosquito nets mostly for use by children under five and pregnant women.

Recent studies had, however, shown that by expanding the use of nets to all people in targeted areas, increased coverage and the better protection of vulnerable groups can be achieved.
"In areas of high transmission of malaria, where young children and pregnant women are the most vulnerable, WHO now recommends making their protection the immediate priority while progressively achieving full coverage," the agency said.

The Kenya initiative has been funded with grants from the Global Fund to Fight AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria, Britain's Department for International Development and has technical support from WHO.

"The government of Kenya is strongly committed to achieving improved and equitable health outcomes for all Kenyans, particularly women and children," said Minister of Health Charity Ngilu.

Insecticide-treated nets repel, disable or kill the vector mosquitoes that transmit malaria. Conventional treated nets need to be re-treated regularly, while long-lasting ones are designed to be effective for the life of the net.

go to www.spreadthenet.org, spend $10, save someone from malaria.

that simple? you bet.

weekend to end breast cancer

and my newest favourite bumper sticker?

Save the tatas

keeping fit and having fun

• 'Loving one's self is a delicate balance. You have to slowly relearn how to speak to yourself. You have to change your language. Try to balance one bad thought with two good ones. If you think you can't, you won't. If you think you can, you might. If you know you can, you will.' - Jann Arden
• the self talk will be the death of me if i let it
• i saw in the calgary herald online that ParticipACTION's back! i wonder if hal johnson and joanne macleod will host Body Break again.
• i have decided to give up chocolate for lent. yowsa.
• a package of mini eggs arrived in the mail today from canada and i think the phrase goes 'happier than a pig in shit' - what luck that these tiny balls of happiness arrived the day before i am to give up chocolate for 40 days!
• sometimes the universe works things out perfectly
• i can already feel the sore on my tongue developing and i love it - so crunchy and so creamy at the same time

thanksgiving marathon

things i am thankful for:

1 - getting to celebrate thanksgiving at home for the first time in 3 years
2 - brussel sprouts
3 - the crops (haha)
4 - being offered this internship i am about to start
5 - watching Akeela and the Bee with my brothers and sister and cuddling on the couch
6 - all the help i received to finish my MA
7 - my health and the health of those around me
8 - another year of things i know
9 - the nurses being nice after i fainted last week
10 - a minority government
11 - international friends
12 - strep throat medicine
13 - visits with old friends
14 - time to hang out at home with the fam
15 - ralph retiring
16 - being able to go to the Bear Country Lodge this week with my sister
17 - a fridge full of food
18 - free time and a leisurely pace
19 - 2 turkey dinners with many families
20 - borrowing cars
21 - fall colours
22 - alberta happening to be plunked on top of oil reserves
23 - the opportunities to follow my goals that take me outside of the country
24 - the benefits of growing up in canada
25 - falling asleep on the couch
26 - the calm before the storm

happy thanksgiving!