it's magical!

over the past month, i have been becoming accustomed to the iphone, a magical, magical device that replaces my old blackberry.  my berry worked just fine, but i had mistakenly left my itouch on a plane while on my way back from toronto in december and i was able to get an iphone for the same price as a new itouch.

and let me tell you, this thing is magical.  i know that it can do a plethora of things, but so far i have found the following characteristics of my iphone and its aps magical:

• listening to cbc radio live at my desk
• watching ted speeches, performances, and presentations
• reading updated texts from last night
• browsing the internet (which is much more user-friendly than my berry)
• notifications that i have received a facebook message or other facebook-related activity
• making reservations through open table
• looking recipes up on all recipes
• the ability to gps my location and then make a map to where i want to get to
• listening to any song in my itunes library, because the whole thing fits on my iphone

there is also a running application that i will likely get that will map all my routes.  i don't typically carry my phone with me when i run as lately i have been running with other people and not listening to my tunes (and using my garmin to track my distance), but that sounds like something fun to play around with too.

oh, the magical possibilities!

eight for twenty eight - monitoring and evaluation

1 - get enough sleep.  oh, i took this to a whole. new. level. before christmas and i think that a change in medication and a vacation managed to get me back to sleeping like a normal person and not like a zombie (zombies sleep during the day a lot, right?).  i think that i kept my health and my sleeping priorities throughout 28 and it resulted in a lot happier and astute me.  i think now the challenge will be to find ways to keep my energy up throughout the day and to get to bed a decent hours so i don't feel like i need to sleep an extra hour before heading into work (and this is one of the many reasons why i love being a consultant!).

2 - buy a home. i think it is safe to say that i rocked this goal right outta the water!  my nest continues to be a home and i continue to love it.

3 - reduce my level of anxiety. overall, i am doing really well with this.  i still have moments where i can feel my breath quickening, but now i recognise what it is and take steps to bring my anxiety to an acceptable level.  i don't think i will ever completely overcome anxiety that comes with taking the bus, new social situations, or when life decides to overwhelm you, but i surely have developed some pretty good coping and identifying skills, which will continue to help keep me sane.  literally.

the proof that i have achieved this goal is that i am not worried about the future and am instead confident that although i have no idea what is coming in 2010, in 29, or the next decade, i sense that it will be pretty damn good.

4 - take better photos. i think that i learned a lot through my course, a lot of the technical side at least.  however, i am not completely confident with my ability to now apply it to my photography practice.  i took a lot of photos in ireland (and would have taken a lot more had it not been for frozen fingers and the lack of fingerless gloves), but i kept my camera on the green idiot box and didn't really test out my knowledge.

in the spring there is a follow-up course that i am going to take that is all about taking photos on location with an instructor and that hands-on learning will likely solidify a lot of the knowledge currently buried deep in the recesses of my cerebral lanscape.

this goal is linked to #2 as well because i have printed off a number of my photos from all over the world, framed them, and hung them.  nothing like unique and homemade artwork to make a nest nestier!

5 - become financially confident.  so i bought a file folder.  with an accordian-like filing system.  i will file my receipts in this.  maybe one day i will graduate to actually making an investment or contributing to my rrsp.  this was a bit of a failure as far as 28 is concerned.  but i bought a house, can we talk more about that?!  because that is sort of like financial confidence, right?  sort of?!

6 - be happy where i am. i am.  simple as that.  not wondering where i will head next.  not complaining about where i am, the state of my career, or why i haven't achieved more.  happy.  content.  excited as i think of the future.  done and done.

7 - visit friends who live in other places. when i first made this goal, i had some pretty specific places in mind to visit.  that list would include chicago, washington dc, ottawa, and maybe even alaska.  where did i end up travelling and visiting friends?  toronto, sheffield, cobh!  not exactly as i had expected, but i did get to visit old friends who recently relocated, a dear friend from grad school, and a new friend who i had actually never met face-to-face, but who i 'knew' through a previous working relationship.

i think that i can put more effort into this goal in the future and make sure that i get to see those people and places that i mentioned above, along with taking other opportunities as they arise.

8 - make the best dating decisions for me (the goal formally known as sort out my relationship).  i think that i have achieved this goal in both its former and current incarnations!  i sorted out my relationship (good riddance to bad rubbish is a saying that comes to mind) and i made a lot of decisions about dating this past year and all of them were the best that i could have done for me.
 
i went on blind dates, i allowed myself to be set up by friends, i tried online dating, i ended things when they no longer suited my needs, i allowed my thoughts and assumptions to be challenged, i got to know A LOT of very eligible bachelors, i made a few new friends, i have been sent gifts from foreign countries, i have made a lot of new facebook friends, and i am still single.  not to say that this is a failure of any sort because i think that as my goal was to make good dating decisions, i have done just that.
 
it will be interesting to see what 29 holds in terms of dating and relationships, but i think as far as goals go, all i can do is what is under my control and that is continue to make the best decisions for me!
 
now, i still have a few more weeks of 28 left, but i am making the assumption that nothing is going to change so drastically in the coming weeks that would affect the way that i see my eight for twenty eight goals over the past 50 weeks!

oversized thoughts

my trip to windsor and toronto, ontario was an interesting one.  at the same time that i was attempting to wrap my head around the challenges of protecting victims of human trafficking within canada's system, the first charges of human trafficking were laid in calgary, making me the woman of the hour in terms of media interviews.  radio, print, and television, i did them all.  and loved it.

after all that thinking, articulating, and networking, i was ready for a rest and some excitement of a different kind in toronto.

but i was in a strange headspace the entire time i was there.  i am sure trying unsuccessfully to make a scheduled dinner happen didn't help, but i felt as though i didn't belong in toronto.  and yet, when i thought about where i am in calgary, i haven't been sure that this is where i belong either.  i feel in some ways like i have more to offer the world than what it is getting from me right now. 

sitting around and talking policy, human rights, and international conventions felt more right than what i do at my desk monday-friday.  and yet, i don't think i have it in me for another bug change at the moment or the near future.  i think all this back and forth and this and that was exhausting so when i arrived in toronto, my head was full of thoughts that still have no answer and i had visiting to do.  which is tiring itself.

it was a good trip and i am not complaining in the slightest, but it filled my heads with lots of thoughts that will take some time to think through.  good thing i have some long-haul flights in my near future!

the most wonderful time of the year...

an update, because it has just been too long, but i will keep up my regular posting after this short hiatus.

• there was no date in toronto.  there were text messages.  there were telephone calls.  but there was no date, which was a shame, because i looked dazzling.
• i have been off my arse busy after the first charges of human trafficking were laid in calgary!
• i am watching Julie & Julia at the moment (from my home office, aka, my couch) and am loving it.  just what i needed.
• this saturday, at a christmas party, i will be sporting this frock.  but a question for you, internet, how do you make it appear as though you have cleavage when you cannot wear a bra?
• i am overwhelmed with all i have to do before leaving for england in 9 days!  hotels.  rental cars.  visits with friends here and there.  packing, ew, packing.  christmas shopping.  house cleaning.  work.  and then some more work.

when fantasy and reality collide

my trips to windsor and toronto are all booked up.  already, my schedule is full.  a meeting with colleagues.  a 2 day forum on trafficking.  a christmas party.  a date.  a brunch.  a lot of talking, no doubt.  yay. 

yay in a way that i still cannot comprehend and now it seems weird to say too much because where i used to make jokes about things that i never thought would happen, they have all of a sudden become my personal life.  and the personal life of someone else, which was always my policy not to blog about.  read between the lines, if you like.

and i realised that i never did update you on the status of my trip this christmas.  i'm currently in the stages of preparing for a 12 day roadtrip around ireland with a girlfriend.  i am most looking forward to staying in a posh hotel for christmas eve, the christmas lunch, drinking guinness, and meeting irish people (including a former coworker who has invited us to stay with her in cork!).  the part that i am not so looking forward to is the dent this is going to be putting in my pocketbook.  and learning how to drive standard on the other side of the road!

i list

shamelessly stolen from k.

I Am – blessed.  which is really not a word i used very often, but i was thinking the other day that i really am blessed.

I Want – to understand how to help others without being condescending or patronising.

I Have – rather big feet for my stature.

I Wish – i could do more.

I Hate – very few things.  and try not to use the word 'hate' in my daily life after i once said i 'hated' a song and my friend called me on it and said that was a lot of negative energy to put in the world.  i agreed.

I Fear – loosing control, having surgery, blood tests, and birds when they flap their wings when they are taking off.

I Hear – the din of my cubicle farm.

I Search – for comfortable socks and underwear.  and myself on google.

I Wonder – where i will be in 2 years', 5 years', and 10 years' time.

I Regret – nothing.  there is a lot i wish never happened, but i don't regret it.  if that makes sense.

I Love – my family.  they are the funniest people i know.

I Ache – when i eat chocolate or ice cream.

I Always – use q tips to clean my ears.

I Usually – do not get enough sleep.

I Am Not – sure what i want to be when i grow up.

I Dance – like a white girl.

I Sing – at home when i am alone and wonder if anyone can hear me.

I Never – wear mismatched socks.

I Rarely – just have one glass of red wine.

I Cry – when i am really happy.

I Am Not Always – punctual, even though i wish i was.

I Lose – my cool when i feel as though i am being manipulated or forced to do something against my will.

I’m Confused – about climate change.  and carbon capture.  and if we are really doomed no matter what we do or don't do.

I Need – to have my hair coloured.

I Should – eat more regular and balanced meals.

I Dream – in bollywood, sometimes.

I Hope – that my trip to toronto is lots of excitement and fun.

I Feel – a bit useless today.

I Appreciate – my family more now than ever before.

give it to the universe

it turns out that i am going to do better than i thought with my eight for twenty eight goals that i set earlier this year.  the one that i wasn't going to do as well as i had hoped was # 7 - visit friends who live in other places.

but it turns out that i get to experience more success with this goal than i previously expected because when i go to the conference on human trafficking in windsor, ontario next week, i have to fly through toronto and it just makes sense to stick around after the conference and visit with three of my favourite people who happen to live there.  one is a friend from high school (although we weren't actually friends in high school), one is her lovely boyfriend, and the other is my former boss who has since become a sort of mentor.  it promises to be a fantastic visit, no matter what we do.

this does mean that i will have to miss out on some fun back here in calgary, but i think it will be worth it to spend some additional time in the t dot.  and i am giving this one to the universe and i am confident that there is a reason i am going, even if i won't find out until later.

and if a certain someone decides to reply to my email then there might also be a rendezvouz of sorts in the big city.  that would be grand, just grand.

looking into the crystal ball

my girls and i had our monthly ladies' night last night and this time, to make it a little more interesting, we invited a psychic to join us and to do readings while we enjoyed our wine and tarts.  here is what she said:

• i should be a teacher or be teaching people, that is what i am here to do
• i will be moving to toronto in march or april and it will be for a job
• i try to be a master of whatever i choose to do
• i will likely go back to school to do a phd and this will be somewhere in eastern canada
• i might not have children because my life will revolve around my career and my husband
• my future is very positive
• my life will have many recurring patterns, a number of endings and beginnings
• my emotional health is good now and to keep it good, i should always exercise
• whoever i am meant to marry is in toronto and i am supposed to meet him next fall and it might be someone from my past, someone i have met a few years ago
• my brothers are going to be aok, even though one will experience various challenges, but he will just need us to let him know we care

and what do i think about all this stuff?  that much of what i heard made a lot of sense and makes me happy and excited about the future.  i think that i would like to have a family one day so i am doubtful that i would focus only on my career and not have children.  and i am not too sure what was going on with me marrying someone i already know because i really cannot think of someone i already know (unless of course we are talking about a certain someone that i met last week!) and the flip side of that is that i will meet someone next fall, but that just feels so far away!

going back to uni, getting a phd, and becoming a professor though?  absolutely!  i would love to and i think that being a form of a teacher or sharer of wisdom sounds like a good life plan for me.

the casualties of war

i woke up this morning to the news that the sri lankan civil war is over. just like that, over.

you don't hear news like this very often. a conflict that simply ends when the leaders of one side are killed. i am not saying that the effects of the decades old civil war are over, but that the hostile combat will end without anyone to lead the rebel tamil tigers.

this is all the more interesting when considering that outside of sri lanka, the most money was raised for the tamil tigers by the diaspora community here in canada before our government banned them as a terrorist group a few years ago, making it illegal for tamil canadians to support them financially. additionally, the tamil communities in ottawa and toronto recently staged protests that shut down main vehicular arteries as a response to the human rights abuses against the tamil people in sri lanka.

and this is where my education comes to my mind. had the canadian government or any other foreign power decided to take action against the sri lankan government due to its alleged (and surely accurate) mistreatment of civilians who were in the line of fire and had to flee their homes, the sri lankan government would not have been free to corner and capture (or kill, as it were) the leaders of the rebel movement, effectively ending the war.

and this is where my favourite professor mark duffield would say that when aid groups interfere in warzones and concern themselves with the conduct of war, they can effectively prolong conflict.

i am all too familiar with the immense challenges of establishing, building, and maintaining peace after an armed conflict, but none of this can be done until two sides of a war stop shooting at each other and that had not happened in so many years in sri lanka so i am hopeful that this will be the beginning of the country's arrival at peace and reconciliation between two ethnic groups and two religions that share the island country.

canadian celebrities... no, not ben mulroney

today i had lunch in downtown toronto with one of the best nhl stars that played for the maple leafs and the future leader of the liberal party of canada.

if by lunch i mean afternoon drink in the same lounge.

and by best nhl star i mean the scruffy guy known for scrapping.

and by future leader of the liberal party i mean a liberal mp who might want to run for the leadership of the party.

perhaps that first sentence should read - i had an afternoon drink in the same lounge as both tie domi and belinda stronach, but did not talk to them, make eye contact with them, or sit with them.

but i considered introducing myself to tie after i saw him walk by for the benefit of my little brother and then once i saw he was dining with belinda i thought i should introduce myself to her and then tell her that one day i want to be her. well minus the conservative party stint and the rich and famous father that got me the job.

but i like her anyways.

toronto is an exciting place.

t.

toronto is great and i realise i have dropped the ball on the blogging, but the break from life and from any place i've called home has been good.

home on wednesday and then i am going to have to wind myself up to take off for the greatest outdoor show on earth... i hope i can make it through unscathed.