ever since i woke up on january 1, 2011, i have felt a change a'coming. i have no idea what it will be nor when it will come, but i feel ready for it.
going to new york inspired me to get my arse in gear to get out into the world again and find something else to to for a little while. to not be afraid to leave the comforts of my home town again and to explore a little more, knowing that there is a whole lot of awesome to come home to anytime i choose. the beauty of an economy fuelled by a commodity-driven industry that is on the up once again, i suppose.
i cleaned out my closets, giving away a bunch of stuff and consigning some others (wherein i chose not to consign my clothes at one shop because they give all the unsold merchandise to an 'orphanage in africa' and couldn't answer me which of the 50+ countries they were referring to nor why they made the orphanage pay for the shipping of the clothes to their magical unnamable part of the continent). i updated my vaccines, passing out in the process, so that if i feed the urge to up and leave to a yellow feverish place, i will be covered (in fact, the reason i am up right now, even though it is midnight and i have a week full of early morning and it is the day of the year that daylight savings kicks your ass is because i forgot i have to take a live typhoid vaccine on an empty stomach and well, my stomach is not empty.
i have also decided to give up impatience and self doubt for lent. yes, i know this is not in the typical spirit of lent, but i needed a time frame and well, it was conveniently timely (is saying conveniently timely redundant??). i am reminding myself that everything has worked out thus far and will continue to do so, in a time frame that is never going to end or stop and as i have always said, there is no finish line and the whole success is not a destination thing (i think you can find some lame quote from me on the interwebs about that, actually).
i am trying to remember that an opportunity will come my way. no sense in worrying or fretting that time is passing me by (I AM GETTING OLDER, OH MY GOD, I AM BEHIND... you get the idea). if the past two years are any indication, opportunities find me and i do my best to put myself right in their path as best i can. i feel as though i have done that now and so now i just wait.
but waiting is not so bad. last week i braved the -20* temperatures and went to the joshua radin, cary brothers, laura jansen show and it was amazing. as i said on twitter, it made me want to fall in love and break up again and again. well, not really, but they sure did make it sound poetic and romantic and wonderful and heart wrenching. and a concert at the former silver dollar action centre? not so bad, especially if you like a little greasy pizza with your handsome singer/songwriters.
i followed that up with so many pints, breakfasts, coffees, and dinners with so many inspiring, intelligent, and hilarious people this past week that i was pleasantly reminded that i am surrounded by a community of people and i have a few greatest fans out there, which is always a nice boost to the confidence.
oh, and i ate at boxwood, which was a chorizon/polenta delight, had breakfast at wake in kensington, where they brew a strong cup of coffee and make mean eggs benedict, and had a perfectly poured latte at vendome cafe. so if you are in the city, go try those newcomers to the ever expanding culinary/coffeehouse scene around these parts.
Showing posts with label 28. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 28. Show all posts
Monday, March 14, 2011
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
number crunching
i posted a comment over at flotsam, where on her fifth year blogging anniversary she ran some numbers. a good idea i thought, so i am posting my comment here with a few more items that i have thought of since.
children conceived: 0
live babies acquired: 0
men married: 0
apartments lived in: 5
books written: 1 (if you count a thesis)
degrees acquired: 1
unfamiliar countries visited: 17
unfamiliar states visited: 0
couches owned: 5
pets felled by disease/neglect: 0
days admitted to hospital: 0
literary rejections received: 0 (but i have received a number of professsional rejections!)
pounds gained: -10
kidney stones passed: 0
live babies acquired: 0
men married: 0
apartments lived in: 5
books written: 1 (if you count a thesis)
degrees acquired: 1
unfamiliar countries visited: 17
unfamiliar states visited: 0
couches owned: 5
pets felled by disease/neglect: 0
days admitted to hospital: 0
literary rejections received: 0 (but i have received a number of professsional rejections!)
pounds gained: -10
kidney stones passed: 0
and a few of my own:
humanitarian emergencies survived: 1
doctors dated: 3
soldiers dated: 1
teachers dated: 1
statisticians dated: 1
pilots dated: 2
doctors dated: 3
soldiers dated: 1
teachers dated: 1
statisticians dated: 1
pilots dated: 2
hunters dated: 1
houses purchased: 1
heartbreaks suffered: 1
countries lived in: 4
houses purchased: 1
heartbreaks suffered: 1
countries lived in: 4
tropical diseases contracted: 1
blogs maintained: 1
blogs maintained: 1
social networking profiles created: 3
social networking profiles maintained: 1
bottles of wine consumed: even if i remembered to count, i wouldn't have had the capacity to at the time
bottles of wine consumed: even if i remembered to count, i wouldn't have had the capacity to at the time
laptops owned: 3
cars named dieter driven: 1
grandparents lost: 2
jobs held: 3, 2 concurrently
tattoos inked: 2
bites of chicken consumed: 3 +/-
itunes songs collected: 4715
languages learned: 1/8
photographs taken: 1000s, maybe even 10,000s
friends met, books read, and tears shed: statistics unavailable until technology improves!
i would love to hear what you have to say about your last 5 years!
Monday, February 08, 2010
nine for twenty nine
having goals for my 28th year kept me on track, helped me maintain my focus, and was a nice way to monitor how my year was shaping up. it makes perfect sense to do it again... here we go with nine for twenty nine.
1 - conquer my anxiety, or at least win a few battles against it. this is a clear continuation from 28 and i think will likely be a regular dialogue circulating through my head. but i would like to leave 29 a little less anxious than i found it.
2 - be more thoughtful of others, especially around special events, days, occassions. i like to be thoughtful, but i think this past year has found me rather wrapped up in my own stuff. now i am ready to shift my focus back out to my network when i should be thinking of others. i like to think of others so this isn't really a challenge, just that i need to remember. bring on the daytimer!
3 - continue making visiting family and friends a priority. recently, i had a little birthday and was amazed at the number of places from which i had wishes from - canada, the us, the uk, greece, kenya, laos, bermuda, australia, sudan, south africa, new zealand, india, denmark, vietnam, mexico, italy, indonesia, sweden, rwanda, afghanistan, east timor, uganda, and spain. i managed to get out and about last year and this year i hope to keep it up.
4 - nail down some sort of short-term career goals. after a few weeks in europe, visiting with old friends, having conversations about development and academics and other mind expanding topics, coming back to work here in calgary has been a little errrr.... boring. i like my job enough, but i think it is time that i start to look forward and set some goals. i am not sure what those goals will be, but i do need to give it a think and come up with a direction. i work best when headed in a direction.
5 - lay a nest egg to accompany my nest. seeing as i effed the dog on this goal last year (but i DID get those receipts into a accordian folder, yippee!), i am going to keep it up. i will need to learn a lot on this one, but hopefully this year i will be able to free up some of my time and monies to get it done.
6 - eat more balanced, regular meals. i often forget to eat. sometimes i eat a croissant for dinner. most days, i have a latte for breakfast. i typically eat when i am hungry, don't have any issues with the amount that i eat, and i used to be very responsible and cook healthy meals regularly. but not lately and i am not sure why exactly. i know i could do better and i will have to work this into my schedule.
7 - sleep an appropriate amount. not necessarily more, but appropriate. sometimes i can sleep and sleep and sleep and this past year, i made sure that i got enough sleep because after years of deprivation, i was amazed to see how much better i felt once i had enough sleep. but now, i need to suck it up and find a way to get by for a day on only 6 hours of sleep because otherwise, i end up heading into work late and considering i want to have a little nest egg by the end of 29, i need to make sure i am billing as many hours as i can. but napping, oh i could never give up napping.
8 - maintain my priorities. this became a challenge immediately before christmas when i felt that i was being pulled in a number of different directions. oil and gas work. counter trafficking work. commitments with friends. dates and more dates. i am going to do my best to keep my priorities in check throughout the year and make sure that as they change, my schedule changes with them. i have started running regularly again, i have a new volunteer commitment, my trafficking work is only getting busier, and all of this stuff is good and makes me who i am so it makes sense that these would be my current priorities. but sometimes, other commitments and aspects of life seem to take over, so i will do my best to remember what my priorities are and allow them to change and shift throughout the year. being mindful, really.
9 - keep laughing. when i get to spend time with my family, the next day my stomach invariably hurts from laughing so hard. i think this is fantastic and my goal for 29 is to keep this up and to find more opportunities to laugh that hard. (this goal was a toss up between 'keep laughing' and 'keep asking for what i want.' i am going to see what happens with this as the year progresses, but it might shift to the other if need be.)
wish me luck! 1 week in and i gotta say that i was slightly drowning under various priorities, but after hosting a birthday/fundraising party (spread the net, people!), i am ready to start this year off right. bring it on, 29!
1 - conquer my anxiety, or at least win a few battles against it. this is a clear continuation from 28 and i think will likely be a regular dialogue circulating through my head. but i would like to leave 29 a little less anxious than i found it.
2 - be more thoughtful of others, especially around special events, days, occassions. i like to be thoughtful, but i think this past year has found me rather wrapped up in my own stuff. now i am ready to shift my focus back out to my network when i should be thinking of others. i like to think of others so this isn't really a challenge, just that i need to remember. bring on the daytimer!
3 - continue making visiting family and friends a priority. recently, i had a little birthday and was amazed at the number of places from which i had wishes from - canada, the us, the uk, greece, kenya, laos, bermuda, australia, sudan, south africa, new zealand, india, denmark, vietnam, mexico, italy, indonesia, sweden, rwanda, afghanistan, east timor, uganda, and spain. i managed to get out and about last year and this year i hope to keep it up.
4 - nail down some sort of short-term career goals. after a few weeks in europe, visiting with old friends, having conversations about development and academics and other mind expanding topics, coming back to work here in calgary has been a little errrr.... boring. i like my job enough, but i think it is time that i start to look forward and set some goals. i am not sure what those goals will be, but i do need to give it a think and come up with a direction. i work best when headed in a direction.
5 - lay a nest egg to accompany my nest. seeing as i effed the dog on this goal last year (but i DID get those receipts into a accordian folder, yippee!), i am going to keep it up. i will need to learn a lot on this one, but hopefully this year i will be able to free up some of my time and monies to get it done.
6 - eat more balanced, regular meals. i often forget to eat. sometimes i eat a croissant for dinner. most days, i have a latte for breakfast. i typically eat when i am hungry, don't have any issues with the amount that i eat, and i used to be very responsible and cook healthy meals regularly. but not lately and i am not sure why exactly. i know i could do better and i will have to work this into my schedule.
7 - sleep an appropriate amount. not necessarily more, but appropriate. sometimes i can sleep and sleep and sleep and this past year, i made sure that i got enough sleep because after years of deprivation, i was amazed to see how much better i felt once i had enough sleep. but now, i need to suck it up and find a way to get by for a day on only 6 hours of sleep because otherwise, i end up heading into work late and considering i want to have a little nest egg by the end of 29, i need to make sure i am billing as many hours as i can. but napping, oh i could never give up napping.
8 - maintain my priorities. this became a challenge immediately before christmas when i felt that i was being pulled in a number of different directions. oil and gas work. counter trafficking work. commitments with friends. dates and more dates. i am going to do my best to keep my priorities in check throughout the year and make sure that as they change, my schedule changes with them. i have started running regularly again, i have a new volunteer commitment, my trafficking work is only getting busier, and all of this stuff is good and makes me who i am so it makes sense that these would be my current priorities. but sometimes, other commitments and aspects of life seem to take over, so i will do my best to remember what my priorities are and allow them to change and shift throughout the year. being mindful, really.
9 - keep laughing. when i get to spend time with my family, the next day my stomach invariably hurts from laughing so hard. i think this is fantastic and my goal for 29 is to keep this up and to find more opportunities to laugh that hard. (this goal was a toss up between 'keep laughing' and 'keep asking for what i want.' i am going to see what happens with this as the year progresses, but it might shift to the other if need be.)
wish me luck! 1 week in and i gotta say that i was slightly drowning under various priorities, but after hosting a birthday/fundraising party (spread the net, people!), i am ready to start this year off right. bring it on, 29!
Monday, November 23, 2009
give it to the universe
it turns out that i am going to do better than i thought with my eight for twenty eight goals that i set earlier this year. the one that i wasn't going to do as well as i had hoped was # 7 - visit friends who live in other places.
but it turns out that i get to experience more success with this goal than i previously expected because when i go to the conference on human trafficking in windsor, ontario next week, i have to fly through toronto and it just makes sense to stick around after the conference and visit with three of my favourite people who happen to live there. one is a friend from high school (although we weren't actually friends in high school), one is her lovely boyfriend, and the other is my former boss who has since become a sort of mentor. it promises to be a fantastic visit, no matter what we do.
this does mean that i will have to miss out on some fun back here in calgary, but i think it will be worth it to spend some additional time in the t dot. and i am giving this one to the universe and i am confident that there is a reason i am going, even if i won't find out until later.
and if a certain someone decides to reply to my email then there might also be a rendezvouz of sorts in the big city. that would be grand, just grand.
but it turns out that i get to experience more success with this goal than i previously expected because when i go to the conference on human trafficking in windsor, ontario next week, i have to fly through toronto and it just makes sense to stick around after the conference and visit with three of my favourite people who happen to live there. one is a friend from high school (although we weren't actually friends in high school), one is her lovely boyfriend, and the other is my former boss who has since become a sort of mentor. it promises to be a fantastic visit, no matter what we do.
this does mean that i will have to miss out on some fun back here in calgary, but i think it will be worth it to spend some additional time in the t dot. and i am giving this one to the universe and i am confident that there is a reason i am going, even if i won't find out until later.
and if a certain someone decides to reply to my email then there might also be a rendezvouz of sorts in the big city. that would be grand, just grand.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
about time for a goal check in
1 - get enough sleep. well, i have had some lie ins in my new nest and have loved every minute of them. not sure that i have figured this out because i tend to get a lot of sleep on the weekends and not enough during the week, but at least i have come to understand the value of a good night's rest and what happens to me if i don't get this regularly.
2 - buy a home. i love it. love, love, love it. my nest is so nesty. and mine. and sometimes dirty. and sometimes spotless. and often times the location of entertaining my friends (although i need to invite my fam over more often in the future, but that would entail securing a few more chairs!). check!
3 - reduce my level of anxiety. i still have bad days, but most of my days are good days and i can identify the anxiety before it hits me over the head and am slowly improving in my capacity to deal with it. i have reduced my daily medication levels by one step and am just going to hang out here for awhile before making the next step. but things in the anxiety department are good and i think i am getting better at acknowleding my anxiety, my triggers, and what to do to prevent it from blowing up.
4 - take better photos. photography is technical stuff! but i am nearly through the introductory course in photography at mount royal college (sorry, university). i like it, i need more practice, but i think i am starting to understand equivalent exposures, f stops, and the diamond of taking good photos. green idiot box, no more!
5 - become financially confident. i wouldn't exactly say that i am confident, but i am doing ok. with the current upheaval in my work and the recent home purchase, i am a little nervous, but confident that it will be ok. i have yet to deal with my gst for the past year and am not great at keeping my books for my accountant, but we can file that under 29, can't we?
6 - be happy where i am. this continues to go really, really well. i never thought i woud be so content in calgary, but i am. and am in no hurry to change that. i did have a titch of concern that i was not utilising the summer months to their full capacity, but there were a number of other factors at work there and i will work on that one (see goal #8).
7 - visit friends who live in other places. i have failed pretty miserably at this goal (and with only 2.5 months left of 28, there is little chance that things will turn around), but i am going to england in december for a very dear friend's wedding and am then carrying on to ireland where i will meet up with a friend from home to go on a great irish roadtrip, yippee! beer, irishmen, and the isle of green, what more could a canadian girl ask for?!
8 - make the best dating decisions for me (the goal formally known as sort out my relationship). i'm still dating. blah. i have had a great time, but i am getting a little exasperated with the whole process and after a few hopeful episodes, i am still as single as ever. i suppose as the goal is to make good decisions, i have done that. but in doing that, the results have not exactly borne the fruits that i had hoped they would by now. another blah. but i will just keep soldiering on (but with fewer soldiers and more civilians).
2 - buy a home. i love it. love, love, love it. my nest is so nesty. and mine. and sometimes dirty. and sometimes spotless. and often times the location of entertaining my friends (although i need to invite my fam over more often in the future, but that would entail securing a few more chairs!). check!
3 - reduce my level of anxiety. i still have bad days, but most of my days are good days and i can identify the anxiety before it hits me over the head and am slowly improving in my capacity to deal with it. i have reduced my daily medication levels by one step and am just going to hang out here for awhile before making the next step. but things in the anxiety department are good and i think i am getting better at acknowleding my anxiety, my triggers, and what to do to prevent it from blowing up.
4 - take better photos. photography is technical stuff! but i am nearly through the introductory course in photography at mount royal college (sorry, university). i like it, i need more practice, but i think i am starting to understand equivalent exposures, f stops, and the diamond of taking good photos. green idiot box, no more!
5 - become financially confident. i wouldn't exactly say that i am confident, but i am doing ok. with the current upheaval in my work and the recent home purchase, i am a little nervous, but confident that it will be ok. i have yet to deal with my gst for the past year and am not great at keeping my books for my accountant, but we can file that under 29, can't we?
6 - be happy where i am. this continues to go really, really well. i never thought i woud be so content in calgary, but i am. and am in no hurry to change that. i did have a titch of concern that i was not utilising the summer months to their full capacity, but there were a number of other factors at work there and i will work on that one (see goal #8).
7 - visit friends who live in other places. i have failed pretty miserably at this goal (and with only 2.5 months left of 28, there is little chance that things will turn around), but i am going to england in december for a very dear friend's wedding and am then carrying on to ireland where i will meet up with a friend from home to go on a great irish roadtrip, yippee! beer, irishmen, and the isle of green, what more could a canadian girl ask for?!
8 - make the best dating decisions for me (the goal formally known as sort out my relationship). i'm still dating. blah. i have had a great time, but i am getting a little exasperated with the whole process and after a few hopeful episodes, i am still as single as ever. i suppose as the goal is to make good decisions, i have done that. but in doing that, the results have not exactly borne the fruits that i had hoped they would by now. another blah. but i will just keep soldiering on (but with fewer soldiers and more civilians).
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
what i do well
the term 'networking' used to make me break out into a rash, but i have learned over the years that i am good at it and can make connections that benefit me and others rather effortlessly. which is even more impressive when you consider that most of my anxiety is brought on by new social situations.
today was another one of those opportunities that i managed to walk myself into. i have spent the last two days at a course at the university and met a lot of interesting people from various sides of the same industry. there were a lot of opportunities to participate in discussions and as they related not only to my current jobs, but to my previous jobs abroad as well, i offered a lot of examples and asked a number of questions.
at the end of the day (and after we had a mini 'graduation'), the convener of the training approached me and invited me to become more involved in his local organisation that consults on international development projects and mentioned that he needs a new board member, hinting that i could potentially be it. i am not sure exactly what that would entail or if i would be a suitable candidate, but i am definitely going to look into it. i always thought board members were old people with grey hair and lengthy cv's, not 28 year olds who just like to talk!
today was another one of those opportunities that i managed to walk myself into. i have spent the last two days at a course at the university and met a lot of interesting people from various sides of the same industry. there were a lot of opportunities to participate in discussions and as they related not only to my current jobs, but to my previous jobs abroad as well, i offered a lot of examples and asked a number of questions.
at the end of the day (and after we had a mini 'graduation'), the convener of the training approached me and invited me to become more involved in his local organisation that consults on international development projects and mentioned that he needs a new board member, hinting that i could potentially be it. i am not sure exactly what that would entail or if i would be a suitable candidate, but i am definitely going to look into it. i always thought board members were old people with grey hair and lengthy cv's, not 28 year olds who just like to talk!
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
time to grow up
after a wild weekend of houseboating with 17 other women in various states of career, relationship, and sobriety i feel ready to do a little growing up and put my recent past of dating, drinking, and debauchery behind me while i switch my focus to nesting, operation get fit (phase iii!), and other forms of maturity.
a year ago i was in a very similar place, but for a very different reason and it has been a rather hectic, tumultuous, and exciting year to get back here. i know you are supposed to say that you learn so much by overcoming challenges and that you are better for it, and i do believe this wholeheartedly, but if you had said that to me before last february, i would have supressed every urge to kick you right in the shins.
the truth is, i have made it here and that having a little fun along the way would not have made it nearly as enjoyable or as rewarding. and i am not about to turn into 'no fun lu' but i do think that this last kick at the can of an august long weekend might be the turning point towards heading back to where i thought i wanted to be a year ago.
maybe the universe was just telling me that i had a little more i needed to get out of my system.
and you just never do know, there might be more left in me in the future.
a year ago i was in a very similar place, but for a very different reason and it has been a rather hectic, tumultuous, and exciting year to get back here. i know you are supposed to say that you learn so much by overcoming challenges and that you are better for it, and i do believe this wholeheartedly, but if you had said that to me before last february, i would have supressed every urge to kick you right in the shins.
the truth is, i have made it here and that having a little fun along the way would not have made it nearly as enjoyable or as rewarding. and i am not about to turn into 'no fun lu' but i do think that this last kick at the can of an august long weekend might be the turning point towards heading back to where i thought i wanted to be a year ago.
maybe the universe was just telling me that i had a little more i needed to get out of my system.
and you just never do know, there might be more left in me in the future.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
6 month goal update
1 - get enough sleep. this continues to go well, but perhaps at the expense of other things. things like making it to work on time and waking up early enough to be prepared for my day.
2 - buy a home. done! and eek! and wow, i am an adult! and yay! and scary! but i think i will love my new nest and i cannot wait to be poor while i fill it with the things you need to live like a kitchen table, the internet, and other essential, pretty things.
3 - reduce my level of anxiety. i am winning this battle so much so that soon i will get to take less medication for it and return to my natural state with a few more tools in my toolbox on how to handle sticky and stressful situations.
4 - take better photos. i have been told that the best way to take better photos is to take MORE photos and as far as this goes, i am doing fantastically well. i have some favourite photos from san francisco and thailand and will surely collect more as the summer progresses.
my next step is to find a photography class in the fall to learn more about how a camera even works.
5 - become financially confident. with recent purchases, including a new nest, i am not so sure that i can have confidence in my financial decisions, but i think that is goes along with the enormity of this purchase in comparison to my past financial decisions so i am ok with that. and hello, a new nest! my very own nest!
6 - be happy where i am. although this city can get to me at times, it has been pretty hard not to be happy where i have been lately. things are good. really good.
7 - visit friends who live in other places. i continue to crap out on this goal, but in my defense i did travel around thailand with a fabulous friend and we are now much closer because of our 3 week intimacy of sharing the same room, nursing one another through tropical illness, and overnight train journeys that tested patience.
in addition to thailand, i am also going houseboating with a friend who i've known for years and our relationship has really matured and developed since i have moved home, which i think is equally fantastic. and i hope to have a few new friends at the end of this long weekend, and who doesn't love new friends?!
in a reverse of this goal, there is also a friend from england who seems quite serious about coming for a canadian visit this winter, which would be splendid.
8 - make the best dating decisions for me. (the goal formally known as sort out my relationship). at the moment, this is the goal that frightens me the most, but one that i have made considerable progress on. and by progress, i mean i have been on a lot of dates in the past few months and have met some pretty wonderful men. i am not one to divulge the secrets of my relationship to the world (aka, the internet), but let's just say i have made some good decisions. and we will see where those decisions now lead. and, yay.
2 - buy a home. done! and eek! and wow, i am an adult! and yay! and scary! but i think i will love my new nest and i cannot wait to be poor while i fill it with the things you need to live like a kitchen table, the internet, and other essential, pretty things.
3 - reduce my level of anxiety. i am winning this battle so much so that soon i will get to take less medication for it and return to my natural state with a few more tools in my toolbox on how to handle sticky and stressful situations.
4 - take better photos. i have been told that the best way to take better photos is to take MORE photos and as far as this goes, i am doing fantastically well. i have some favourite photos from san francisco and thailand and will surely collect more as the summer progresses.
my next step is to find a photography class in the fall to learn more about how a camera even works.
5 - become financially confident. with recent purchases, including a new nest, i am not so sure that i can have confidence in my financial decisions, but i think that is goes along with the enormity of this purchase in comparison to my past financial decisions so i am ok with that. and hello, a new nest! my very own nest!
6 - be happy where i am. although this city can get to me at times, it has been pretty hard not to be happy where i have been lately. things are good. really good.
7 - visit friends who live in other places. i continue to crap out on this goal, but in my defense i did travel around thailand with a fabulous friend and we are now much closer because of our 3 week intimacy of sharing the same room, nursing one another through tropical illness, and overnight train journeys that tested patience.
in addition to thailand, i am also going houseboating with a friend who i've known for years and our relationship has really matured and developed since i have moved home, which i think is equally fantastic. and i hope to have a few new friends at the end of this long weekend, and who doesn't love new friends?!
in a reverse of this goal, there is also a friend from england who seems quite serious about coming for a canadian visit this winter, which would be splendid.
8 - make the best dating decisions for me. (the goal formally known as sort out my relationship). at the moment, this is the goal that frightens me the most, but one that i have made considerable progress on. and by progress, i mean i have been on a lot of dates in the past few months and have met some pretty wonderful men. i am not one to divulge the secrets of my relationship to the world (aka, the internet), but let's just say i have made some good decisions. and we will see where those decisions now lead. and, yay.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
things i have learned recently
- nest shopping is FUN (although i suspect it will get stressful when decisions must be made)
- when i don't run, i really miss it (and it's only been 5 days)
- dairy queen blizzards continue to rot my insides (that was just a confirmation)
- eharmonising is FUN
- if you back into a parking stall at the calgary transit stations, the park plus ticketing system can't get you
- my sister gave me a day at the spa for my birthday and i had forgotten until i tidied my room and found the card, she's the best!
- all my years of defending canada as not being as cold as people assume it is was all for naught as it is bloody cold and i am sick of having to brings scarves with me to cut the chill
- i didn't love the book Mister Pip by Lloyd Jones, i felt it was rather sad and i am not sure if that was my own mood reflecting on the story or the story reflecting on my mood
- opi's nail envy really works. pricey, but effective at strengthening your nails and preventing them from cracking or breaking
Friday, May 15, 2009
amen!
aquarius horoscope for may 15th, 2009:
Maybe not everything has gone your way of late
but life moves in cycles and it won't be long before
you are on the upside of the curve again.
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
just needed a reminder 95 days in
1 - get enough sleep. i had let this one slip, proving that it will be a lifetime's challenge to continually get enough sleep. but last night, i took a nytol and went to bed at 10 (after watching american idol, but of course) and woke up feeling rather refreshed and perky this morning. what a difference a good night's sleep makes.
2 - buy a home. we have progress! well, a phone call with one mortgage broker, a meeting over coffee with another, and the necessary documents collected. not to mention a few perusals on the mls website. but i would gladly subcontract the entire mortgage broker/realtor/nest selection process to someone, i really do not enjoy it.
3 - reduce my level of anxiety. still going strong on winning this battle. not that i do not get anxious any longer, but that i am better able to recognise anxiety and do something to prevent or alleviate its symptoms. like running.
4 - take better photos. i don't think i have make one lick of progress on this goal as yet. but i am hoping my upcoming trip to san francisco will remedy this. bring on the photogenic city!
5 - become financially confident. i am feeling pretty confident about this, which i suppose is the entire objective of this goal. not that i think this feeling will last all year, but i am feel as though i am in a position to travel, to buy a new nest, and call my own shots. pretty sweet deal, if you ask me.
6 - be happy where i am. this one comes and goes as my mood changes and my mind daydreams. however, i have really come to terms with where i am and how i got here, even if it wasn't the way i would have ever planned. i like where i am, i like what lies ahead, and that seems like a way to obtain happiness.
7 - visit friends who live in other places. i am crapping out on this one. i had hopes of visiting with more people. but at least i had two out of town visitors recently. and i am going to thailand with a friend, who i think will be a good travelling chum. and that is something, right?
8 - make the best dating decisions for me. (the goal formally known as sort out my relationship). i am learning how to date again, with all its excitements, disappointments, and challenges and i don't suppose this is going to stop anytime soon so for the remainder of my 28th year, i would like to improve my dating decisions and ensure that they are the best ones for me. i think that i have done this so far, but will just need to keep this in mind moving forward.
2 - buy a home. we have progress! well, a phone call with one mortgage broker, a meeting over coffee with another, and the necessary documents collected. not to mention a few perusals on the mls website. but i would gladly subcontract the entire mortgage broker/realtor/nest selection process to someone, i really do not enjoy it.
3 - reduce my level of anxiety. still going strong on winning this battle. not that i do not get anxious any longer, but that i am better able to recognise anxiety and do something to prevent or alleviate its symptoms. like running.
4 - take better photos. i don't think i have make one lick of progress on this goal as yet. but i am hoping my upcoming trip to san francisco will remedy this. bring on the photogenic city!
5 - become financially confident. i am feeling pretty confident about this, which i suppose is the entire objective of this goal. not that i think this feeling will last all year, but i am feel as though i am in a position to travel, to buy a new nest, and call my own shots. pretty sweet deal, if you ask me.
6 - be happy where i am. this one comes and goes as my mood changes and my mind daydreams. however, i have really come to terms with where i am and how i got here, even if it wasn't the way i would have ever planned. i like where i am, i like what lies ahead, and that seems like a way to obtain happiness.
7 - visit friends who live in other places. i am crapping out on this one. i had hopes of visiting with more people. but at least i had two out of town visitors recently. and i am going to thailand with a friend, who i think will be a good travelling chum. and that is something, right?
8 - make the best dating decisions for me. (the goal formally known as sort out my relationship). i am learning how to date again, with all its excitements, disappointments, and challenges and i don't suppose this is going to stop anytime soon so for the remainder of my 28th year, i would like to improve my dating decisions and ensure that they are the best ones for me. i think that i have done this so far, but will just need to keep this in mind moving forward.
Monday, March 30, 2009
clearing the funk
i ran 10km today. which is one of the longest runs i have had in a year. it was pretty wicked. and the thing that kept me going was my awesome new playlist entitled eight for twenty eight. the songs below all make an appearance.
when you are the bottom of a hill nearly 1km long and you hear the first notes of ladysmith black mombazo, somehow you know you can do it.
Take This Waltz - Adam Cohen
The River - Anathallo
Smiling Underneath - Ani DiFranco
Deadlines - Arkells
Sometimes - Ayo
Leopard-Skin-Pill-Box Hat - Beck
Float On - Ben Lee
Sex Without Love - Ben Lee
Hiding My Heart - Brandi Carlile
If I Fall Behind - Bruce Springsteen
MGM Grand - Caroline Herring
The Expert - The Champion and His Burning Flame
To Build a Home - The Cinematic Orchestra
Home In The Woods - Cory Chisel and the Wandering Sons
World We Know - Crash Parallel
Stole - Dashboard Confessional
Willis Avenue Bridge - David Berkeley
Quiet Times - Dido
Running to Stand Still - Elbow
That Sinking Feeling - Emma-Lee
Love, Save the Empty - Erin McCarley
Gotta Figure This Out - Erin McCarley
Sunlight - Esperanza Spalding
Falling or Flying - Grace Potter and the Nocturals
How the Day Sounds - Greg Laswell
Fee Da Da Dee - The Guggenheim Grotto
Can't Help Falling in Love - Ingrid Michaelson
The Way I Am - Ingrid Michaelson
Parachutes - Jenn Grant
Cathedrals - Joan Osborne
Through & Through & Through - Joel Plaskett
Sun Comes Up - John Legend
Wildfires - Josh Ritter
One of Those Days - Joshua Radin
Asking for Flowers - Kathleen Edwards
Buffalo - Kathleen Edwards
Victoria - The Kooks
Straight to Hell - Lily Allen
Never Said - Liz Phair
Charlie Darwin - The Low Anthem
Daylight - Matt & Kim
Never Again - The Midway State
Where I Stood - Missy Higgins
Here it Goes Again (UK Surf) - Ok Go
The Great Escape - Patrick Watson
All the Things You Never Wanted - Peirson Ross
Never Bloom Again - The Perishers
With the Notes in My Ears - Peter Broderick
Bye Bye Bye - Plants and Animals
Drifting Further Away - Powderfinger
Duet - Rachael Yamagata
Winter Birds - Ray LaMontagne
Why Can't it be Christmas All Year - Rosie Thomas
Gravity - Sara Bareilles
Homeless - Sarah McLachlan & Ladysmith Black Mombazo
Before the Worst - The Script
These Quiet Times - Shady Bard
Treeology - Shady Bard
Mistaken Identity - Steve Reynolds
Being Here - The Stills
No Time To Sleep - Tina Dico
Imparable - Tommy Torres
Heroes - TV On the Radio
Heroes of the Sidewalk - Two Hours Traffic
Letting Go - Waiting for Iris
Room With The Sir John A. View - Weeping Tile
Brett Dennen's entire cd Hope for the Hopeless
i am always on the lookout for new music, so i hope this list inspires you. many of the songs will make you feel as though you want to slit your wrists, which is just how i like my music - sad, sad, sad.
when you are the bottom of a hill nearly 1km long and you hear the first notes of ladysmith black mombazo, somehow you know you can do it.
Take This Waltz - Adam Cohen
The River - Anathallo
Smiling Underneath - Ani DiFranco
Deadlines - Arkells
Sometimes - Ayo
Leopard-Skin-Pill-Box Hat - Beck
Float On - Ben Lee
Sex Without Love - Ben Lee
Hiding My Heart - Brandi Carlile
If I Fall Behind - Bruce Springsteen
MGM Grand - Caroline Herring
The Expert - The Champion and His Burning Flame
To Build a Home - The Cinematic Orchestra
Home In The Woods - Cory Chisel and the Wandering Sons
World We Know - Crash Parallel
Stole - Dashboard Confessional
Willis Avenue Bridge - David Berkeley
Quiet Times - Dido
Running to Stand Still - Elbow
That Sinking Feeling - Emma-Lee
Love, Save the Empty - Erin McCarley
Gotta Figure This Out - Erin McCarley
Sunlight - Esperanza Spalding
Falling or Flying - Grace Potter and the Nocturals
How the Day Sounds - Greg Laswell
Fee Da Da Dee - The Guggenheim Grotto
Can't Help Falling in Love - Ingrid Michaelson
The Way I Am - Ingrid Michaelson
Parachutes - Jenn Grant
Cathedrals - Joan Osborne
Through & Through & Through - Joel Plaskett
Sun Comes Up - John Legend
Wildfires - Josh Ritter
One of Those Days - Joshua Radin
Asking for Flowers - Kathleen Edwards
Buffalo - Kathleen Edwards
Victoria - The Kooks
Straight to Hell - Lily Allen
Never Said - Liz Phair
Charlie Darwin - The Low Anthem
Daylight - Matt & Kim
Never Again - The Midway State
Where I Stood - Missy Higgins
Here it Goes Again (UK Surf) - Ok Go
The Great Escape - Patrick Watson
All the Things You Never Wanted - Peirson Ross
Never Bloom Again - The Perishers
With the Notes in My Ears - Peter Broderick
Bye Bye Bye - Plants and Animals
Drifting Further Away - Powderfinger
Duet - Rachael Yamagata
Winter Birds - Ray LaMontagne
Why Can't it be Christmas All Year - Rosie Thomas
Gravity - Sara Bareilles
Homeless - Sarah McLachlan & Ladysmith Black Mombazo
Before the Worst - The Script
These Quiet Times - Shady Bard
Treeology - Shady Bard
Mistaken Identity - Steve Reynolds
Being Here - The Stills
No Time To Sleep - Tina Dico
Imparable - Tommy Torres
Heroes - TV On the Radio
Heroes of the Sidewalk - Two Hours Traffic
Letting Go - Waiting for Iris
Room With The Sir John A. View - Weeping Tile
Brett Dennen's entire cd Hope for the Hopeless
i am always on the lookout for new music, so i hope this list inspires you. many of the songs will make you feel as though you want to slit your wrists, which is just how i like my music - sad, sad, sad.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
small victory
i had a last minute invitation to attend the metropolis conference held in calgary this weekend and after having some last minute (and gorgeous!) cards made up, i hiked over to the lovely hyatt hotel and participated in discussions on human trafficking in canada and internationally. and i learned a lot.
but more importantly, in a ballroom (that admittedly was not full), i got up and made a comment and asked 2 questions to one of the panelists after the formal presentations were completed. i was rather proud of myself because i often think i have something to say but just keep quiet out of shyness and anxiety, but this time i didn't and although i wasn't as articulate as i would have liked to have been, i did get my point across and made a plug for my own experience in the topic of the panel. i am not sure that my comment was well received because it was directed towards academics who spend their careers trying to uncover new information, but i thought it needed to be said, so i did.
and i did it in stilettos.
if you are wondering, my comment was: when dealing with human trafficking, academics, programmers, and donors alike continually make calls for more numbers, more statistics, and more evidence and yet there are some out there that seem to be disregarded constantly. and it will never be possible to properly quantify an illegal and covert activity where the victims rarely surface or identify themselves as such. and if you get caught up on the fact that we do not have numbers, we will all be paralysed from taking action.
i would like to relate this back to my goals (as i knock 'em down one after another). i think this is a small victory for goal 3 - reduce my level of anxiety.
but more importantly, in a ballroom (that admittedly was not full), i got up and made a comment and asked 2 questions to one of the panelists after the formal presentations were completed. i was rather proud of myself because i often think i have something to say but just keep quiet out of shyness and anxiety, but this time i didn't and although i wasn't as articulate as i would have liked to have been, i did get my point across and made a plug for my own experience in the topic of the panel. i am not sure that my comment was well received because it was directed towards academics who spend their careers trying to uncover new information, but i thought it needed to be said, so i did.
and i did it in stilettos.
if you are wondering, my comment was: when dealing with human trafficking, academics, programmers, and donors alike continually make calls for more numbers, more statistics, and more evidence and yet there are some out there that seem to be disregarded constantly. and it will never be possible to properly quantify an illegal and covert activity where the victims rarely surface or identify themselves as such. and if you get caught up on the fact that we do not have numbers, we will all be paralysed from taking action.
i would like to relate this back to my goals (as i knock 'em down one after another). i think this is a small victory for goal 3 - reduce my level of anxiety.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
things about which i am excited
- i booked a flight to san francisco! i am going from june 2th - 7th and i am very much looking forward to it. i have never been to the city and with any luck, i will get to have a reunion with this lovely lady, which would sort of be achieving one of the goals i have this year (#7 - visit friends who live in other places). i plan on stopping by dynamo donuts, miette cakes, and at least a few organic/slow food restaurants.
- more dates!
- temperatures that allow me to wear my new spring coats, one green, one yellow
- my hair growing out in a way that doesn't look like a mullet. but do i cut it or keep growing it?
- copywriting jobs
- an invitation to a conference on migration tomorrow where i will pass around my new, most loveable business cards that were specially designed por moi.
- the arrival of my new shoes in the mail, tell me who does not love a pink ballet flat? (and they were only $19.99 when i purchased them, so it is a bit strange that they went up in price)
Saturday, February 28, 2009
twenty eight and one month
1 - get enough sleep. this has been all systems go and it was sheer luxury to be able to sleep when and for how long i pleased in the dominican republic. sleep in until 10am? absolutely! have a nap on the beach? why ever not. go to bed at 6 and sleep for 15 hours? done.
2 - buy a home. no progress whatsoever and with impending lay offs left, right, and centre, i am a bit nervous about this. but, i still have 11 months left of 28 to figure this one out.
3 - reduce my level of anxiety. i am kicking anxiety's arse and taking names. all things considered, i am owning the anxiety and making it my own. and by that i mean, things are going really well in this department.
4 - take better photos. i lugged my fancy camera all the way to the caribbean and even bought a new camera lens to replace the one mysteriously lost at a wedding shower, but i took all of one photo with it and instead carried my little digital around with me, which turned out to be much better at snapping the snaps of dance parties, sunglasses named blanche, and me sitting in an enormous piece of pottery.
5 - become financially confident. this is going to be a work in progress...
6 - be happy where i am. this may be a challenge in the coming months. partly because i just read a book set in sudan and my old stomping grounds of kenya (including mentioning my former office) and it got thoughts in my head. nothing too crazy, no plans at the mo, but being settled and happily settled may be difficult.
7 - visit friends who live in other places. still no plans that fit this goal precisely, but the trip to the dominican republic was wonderful and fabulous and all that i could have hoped for, but nothing that i could have expected.
8 - sort out my relationship. done, sorted, over. and if a certain someone shows their face in these parts, he can expect to be strung up with a piano wire by his balls.
Monday, February 09, 2009
eight for twenty eight (and one week)
i am 28 and one week old and thought i might take a recap of how i have progessed on my goals for this year. don't worry, i have no intention of doing this every week.
1 - get enough sleep. i went to bed too late on saturday night and woke up at 8:20 when i was meeting my running group at 8:30 for our 9km run. obviously, this is a sign that i need to reprioritise my sleeping. but the 9km was awesome and not difficult and enjoyable, even the hill and the other people, which is sometimes the challenge in running with a group.
2 - buy a home. it is clearly a bit premature to be updating on this, but i did go shopping (again) and i need to start looking at what i need to save and how i plan on going about that. and i am afraid that a savings plan may mean fewer pairs of boots and fewer handbags.
3 - reduce my level of anxiety. this is going well. for a number of reasons, but medication and counselling are two of them. i also had a friend ask my about anxiety and it even made me feel good to share my experience in hopes that it might be useful for someone else who may be faced with similar challenges in the anxiety department.
4 - take better photos. the only photos i have taken in my 28th year were some of us ladies drinking wine on friday night, i had a fabulous time and that might be the reason for my substandard photography skills...
5 - become financially confident. i think #2 sums this one up. it will surely be a work in progress.
6 - be happy where i am. so far, so good.
7 - visit friends who live in other places. no plans yet, but i have booked a tropical vacation and that dominican beach is calling my name. good thing i have been practising up on the spanish.
8 - sort out my relationship. also, so far, so good.
1 - get enough sleep. i went to bed too late on saturday night and woke up at 8:20 when i was meeting my running group at 8:30 for our 9km run. obviously, this is a sign that i need to reprioritise my sleeping. but the 9km was awesome and not difficult and enjoyable, even the hill and the other people, which is sometimes the challenge in running with a group.
2 - buy a home. it is clearly a bit premature to be updating on this, but i did go shopping (again) and i need to start looking at what i need to save and how i plan on going about that. and i am afraid that a savings plan may mean fewer pairs of boots and fewer handbags.
3 - reduce my level of anxiety. this is going well. for a number of reasons, but medication and counselling are two of them. i also had a friend ask my about anxiety and it even made me feel good to share my experience in hopes that it might be useful for someone else who may be faced with similar challenges in the anxiety department.
4 - take better photos. the only photos i have taken in my 28th year were some of us ladies drinking wine on friday night, i had a fabulous time and that might be the reason for my substandard photography skills...
5 - become financially confident. i think #2 sums this one up. it will surely be a work in progress.
6 - be happy where i am. so far, so good.
7 - visit friends who live in other places. no plans yet, but i have booked a tropical vacation and that dominican beach is calling my name. good thing i have been practising up on the spanish.
8 - sort out my relationship. also, so far, so good.
Sunday, February 01, 2009
eight for twenty eight
i stole this concept from heather who stole it from her big sis. i thought it was a great idea so i made a few tiny changes to the format and here you have my 8 goals for my 28th year.
1 - get enough sleep. on a recent visit to my new (and awesome) doctor, i learned a lot about the importance of sleep. she really drove the point home when she said that there is a reason that sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture. i have been doing well lately, but i need to keep it up for the next year.
2 - buy a home. i think this is a reality for me this year and that is a nice feeling. i am not sure where or what or when, but in the year of 28, i want this to happen.
3 - reduce my level of anxiety. this is something that i have already started working on in 27, but i believe it will be a life long challenge and i plan to make some serious headway in 28. i never realised that it is not normal to live with underlying anxiety every day, but sometimes things need to get really bad before you have such a-ha moments.
4 - take better photos. i want to improve the good photos i take to become awesome photos, especially now that i have a swank new camera. whether i just take a lot of photos and learn through trial and error or whether i take a course, one way or the other, i want to learn what works, what doesn't work, and have something to show for it in the end.
5 - become financially confident. not necessarily make more money, but learn more about what to do with money once you make it. how to invest. how to save. how to spend.
6 - be happy where i am. by 'where' i mean not only physically but where i am with my relationships, my career, and myself. i do not expect that this is something that is achievable in 28, but i do think that it will be a priority this year. sometimes i just need to remind myself what i want and not what i think i should want.
7 - visit friends who live in other places. i have a few ideas in mind of people and places that i would like to visit in the coming year. top of my list are washington dc, chicago, vancouver island, but this all depends on schedules, timing, and money. so i will leave it general for now and see what develops.
8 - sort out my relationship. nuff said. not sure why i didn't list this as #1. and it may just take a full 12 months.
1 - get enough sleep. on a recent visit to my new (and awesome) doctor, i learned a lot about the importance of sleep. she really drove the point home when she said that there is a reason that sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture. i have been doing well lately, but i need to keep it up for the next year.
2 - buy a home. i think this is a reality for me this year and that is a nice feeling. i am not sure where or what or when, but in the year of 28, i want this to happen.
3 - reduce my level of anxiety. this is something that i have already started working on in 27, but i believe it will be a life long challenge and i plan to make some serious headway in 28. i never realised that it is not normal to live with underlying anxiety every day, but sometimes things need to get really bad before you have such a-ha moments.
4 - take better photos. i want to improve the good photos i take to become awesome photos, especially now that i have a swank new camera. whether i just take a lot of photos and learn through trial and error or whether i take a course, one way or the other, i want to learn what works, what doesn't work, and have something to show for it in the end.
5 - become financially confident. not necessarily make more money, but learn more about what to do with money once you make it. how to invest. how to save. how to spend.
6 - be happy where i am. by 'where' i mean not only physically but where i am with my relationships, my career, and myself. i do not expect that this is something that is achievable in 28, but i do think that it will be a priority this year. sometimes i just need to remind myself what i want and not what i think i should want.
7 - visit friends who live in other places. i have a few ideas in mind of people and places that i would like to visit in the coming year. top of my list are washington dc, chicago, vancouver island, but this all depends on schedules, timing, and money. so i will leave it general for now and see what develops.
8 - sort out my relationship. nuff said. not sure why i didn't list this as #1. and it may just take a full 12 months.
on my birthday...
- i was gifted organisational tools. organisational tools!
- i tried my new underwear on over my sweatpants and chased my future brother-in-law around the house (oh yeah)
- my bestest friend made me pepper and leek quiche for brunch
- i ran nearly 7km
- i waited in a queue for an hour to have dieter washed
- my mama made me lasagne for dinner
- i got a kitchen aid mixer! and a martha stewart cookie cook book (bake book?)
- i had a latte (with real milk!)
- i listened to some cbc podcasts while making mexican dip
- i got this shirt from someecards.com from my sis
and that is what you call a good birthday.
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