i was guilty of asking friends who were not working at home 'what do you do all day?' as though it would be a struggle to fill your days with activities that had to be done and those you wanted to do. i figured that it must be boring not to be busy, a daytimer full of appointments and to do lists, and a social calendar with other people working full time, regular hours.
and now when people ask me if i get bored without having a full time job or what i do with myself all day, i am sort of surprised because the answer seems so obvious. i read, i lay by the pool, i grocery shop, i visit with our housekeeper, i cook, i play angry birds, i check facebook and twitter, i send emails, i apply for jobs, i go for walks, i edit photos, i go for lunch, i do yoga, i watch tv series i've always wanted to see, i work out, i get massages and pedicures at home. but only for a few moments this past month have i felt bored.
i have felt some pangs of guilt that i am not working, not being productive, and not building the years and breadth of experience on my cv. but then i reminded myself that people generally spend their entire careers waiting to retire and live the life i am living right now.
and it won't last. come march, i will likely have to get a job either in liberia or wherever someone will hire me and then i remember what it feels like to squeeze in a run after rushing home from the office or wake up to an alarm everyday or not having time to fit all my friends and family in. i am in no hurry to get back into the regular workforce and a crammed schedule so i am genuinely enjoying my time. i just wish that people understood that when they ask me what i possibly DO all day!
now if you'll excuse me, i have another episode of Mad Men, the next chapter of The Hunger Games, and a swimming pool all calling my name.
Showing posts with label boring. Show all posts
Showing posts with label boring. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
'adhd hadn't been invented in the 1930s'
yes, i am indeed compiling a report of an 8 member team, much of it monotonous, mindnumbing desk work that i cannot concentrate on exclusively.
thus, another great ted recommendation. (and yes, i realise that you could just as easily go to the ted website yourself, but as this is my blog, i am also using this as a place to record interesting bits of the www that i might want to revisit one day).
Ken Robinson should be a stand up comedian. but instead, he is an expert on creativity and a ted fellow. you might enjoy what he has to say about the way that schools are crushing our creativity, i certainly did!
thus, another great ted recommendation. (and yes, i realise that you could just as easily go to the ted website yourself, but as this is my blog, i am also using this as a place to record interesting bits of the www that i might want to revisit one day).
Ken Robinson should be a stand up comedian. but instead, he is an expert on creativity and a ted fellow. you might enjoy what he has to say about the way that schools are crushing our creativity, i certainly did!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Sunday, July 04, 2010
29 + 4
1 - conquer my anxiety, or at least win a few battles against it. remember last month and when i was thrilled with my ability to kick anxiety's ass? wow, what a difference a month makes. and as i just mentioned, i do not feel as though i am winning. no specific anxieties, just a general sense of anxiousness pervading my days. and i can't kick this idea that time is running out. time to do what? i am not sure. but i do feel like i need to get on with something. just not sure what that something is.
blah. working on it, but blah.
2 - be more thoughtful of others, especially around special events, days, occasions. i don't think i have done much of this this month as i have been a little preoccupied with keeping my life together. one thing that i have done is take on some additional work as my supervisor is going through the death of a family member and i have been happy to do it. but i still owe my bro $40 because i forgot to bring cash to put in his card and i sent my step-dad a birthday text a day late. sheesh. i need to get this one together!
3 - continue making visiting family and friends a priority. i got out to vancouver island for a long weekend of family time and it was absolutely stunning. my trip to south africa is still in the most initial stages of planning and there is a small, small hope that i migth get to visit friends in another city yet this summer. fingers crossed!
4 - nail down some sort of short-term career goals. let's just say that this one is on hold. opportunities are coming up with my day job and i managed to get a raise at my part time job, but i am working on the other details.
5 - lay a nest egg to accompany my nest. unlike previous months this year, this is going better than the rest. i have been working a lot, which is good for my bank account, and i have not been spending too much (except for that little spree last thursday... oh, the sales got the better of me!). it helps that tax season is over for me and i have a clue about how much i will have to pay in coming years and can save/spend appropriately.
6 - eat more balanced, regular meals. just spent the weekend at my fam's cabin and that did wonders for my regular meat eating. but still when i am at home alone i eat garlic dill pickles for dinner and that likely won't change any time soon!
actually, after the inspiration of regular meals of the cabin, i cooked shrimp for the first time ever tonight. it was deceptively easy and i will certainly do that again. because unless i continue to have vegetarian friends over for dinner (as i did a few weeks ago), i will have to expand my cooking repertoir past meat (and by extension, any shell fish) free dishes.
7 - sleep an appropriate amount. the jetlag from asia took me quite some time to get over and that put a bit of a damper in my sleeping schedule, but since then! i have managed to get it together and haven't even been napping much lately. oh, except for after returning from a conference in banff for work where i certainly did not get enough sleep between 7am meetings and 2am bedtimes.
with stampede around the corner and a few parties already planned, i will surely need to plan for a few extra hours during the 10 days of partying in this town.
8 - maintain my priorities. i am doing my best to stick with my priorities, but i am afraid that i have not been exercising as much as i should lately and a lot of my energies have been spent on work and on people who might not deserve them so a check is in order and i feel as though i have already started putting things back where they should be and remembering what is important.
9 - keep asking for what i want. the first thing would be to figure out what it is that i want! and lately it seems like a moving goal post...
blah. working on it, but blah.
2 - be more thoughtful of others, especially around special events, days, occasions. i don't think i have done much of this this month as i have been a little preoccupied with keeping my life together. one thing that i have done is take on some additional work as my supervisor is going through the death of a family member and i have been happy to do it. but i still owe my bro $40 because i forgot to bring cash to put in his card and i sent my step-dad a birthday text a day late. sheesh. i need to get this one together!
3 - continue making visiting family and friends a priority. i got out to vancouver island for a long weekend of family time and it was absolutely stunning. my trip to south africa is still in the most initial stages of planning and there is a small, small hope that i migth get to visit friends in another city yet this summer. fingers crossed!
4 - nail down some sort of short-term career goals. let's just say that this one is on hold. opportunities are coming up with my day job and i managed to get a raise at my part time job, but i am working on the other details.
5 - lay a nest egg to accompany my nest. unlike previous months this year, this is going better than the rest. i have been working a lot, which is good for my bank account, and i have not been spending too much (except for that little spree last thursday... oh, the sales got the better of me!). it helps that tax season is over for me and i have a clue about how much i will have to pay in coming years and can save/spend appropriately.
6 - eat more balanced, regular meals. just spent the weekend at my fam's cabin and that did wonders for my regular meat eating. but still when i am at home alone i eat garlic dill pickles for dinner and that likely won't change any time soon!
actually, after the inspiration of regular meals of the cabin, i cooked shrimp for the first time ever tonight. it was deceptively easy and i will certainly do that again. because unless i continue to have vegetarian friends over for dinner (as i did a few weeks ago), i will have to expand my cooking repertoir past meat (and by extension, any shell fish) free dishes.
7 - sleep an appropriate amount. the jetlag from asia took me quite some time to get over and that put a bit of a damper in my sleeping schedule, but since then! i have managed to get it together and haven't even been napping much lately. oh, except for after returning from a conference in banff for work where i certainly did not get enough sleep between 7am meetings and 2am bedtimes.
with stampede around the corner and a few parties already planned, i will surely need to plan for a few extra hours during the 10 days of partying in this town.
8 - maintain my priorities. i am doing my best to stick with my priorities, but i am afraid that i have not been exercising as much as i should lately and a lot of my energies have been spent on work and on people who might not deserve them so a check is in order and i feel as though i have already started putting things back where they should be and remembering what is important.
9 - keep asking for what i want. the first thing would be to figure out what it is that i want! and lately it seems like a moving goal post...
Monday, March 08, 2010
wah wah wah
i am in a funk. it is official.
and what is the cause of this funk, you might ask. (and if you didn't ask, you can stop reading here because i am going to go ahead and answer my own question).
i fear that i am loosing my 'edge.' i used to be the person in a meeting who would say their background was in international development, but now i have been back in canada and working in oil and gas for over a year and without a huge repertoir of work experience to my credit, i can't keep going on saying that i have a 'background' in much of anything if i have been doing what i now do (whatever that is...) half as long as i used to work in kenya.
and yet, the career path that i am heading down now doesn't excite me or inspire me to do my best. i will do a good job, but i don't really care about my work (at least not my day job). sure, working for the bureaucracy that is the un system and in a country that was seriously lacking in infrastructure that i now have the luxury of working with, was also a daily struggle and i wouldn't say that i cared about my job everyday, but at least i took ownership of my work and felt that there was a greater reason to do it than just a paycheque.
eesh. i just don't know what is to come next and i fear it will just be more of the same. and yet, i don't know what to do besides what i have been doing by keeping my network warm and sending out updated cv's to people in that industry. i was feeling really motivated and that i was sitting on the precipice of something interesting or exciting or just a change of some sort and now i fear that i am spinning my wheels and not getting anywhere apart from exactly where i already am.
blah, i am whining. and this is a funk. and i am not quite sure what to do to get out of it.
but, hey! i ran 14km last weekend and it felt great and not a huge stuggle and the 16km that i have scheduled for this coming weekend is not scaring the bajeezus out of me and that is good.
and what is the cause of this funk, you might ask. (and if you didn't ask, you can stop reading here because i am going to go ahead and answer my own question).
i fear that i am loosing my 'edge.' i used to be the person in a meeting who would say their background was in international development, but now i have been back in canada and working in oil and gas for over a year and without a huge repertoir of work experience to my credit, i can't keep going on saying that i have a 'background' in much of anything if i have been doing what i now do (whatever that is...) half as long as i used to work in kenya.
and yet, the career path that i am heading down now doesn't excite me or inspire me to do my best. i will do a good job, but i don't really care about my work (at least not my day job). sure, working for the bureaucracy that is the un system and in a country that was seriously lacking in infrastructure that i now have the luxury of working with, was also a daily struggle and i wouldn't say that i cared about my job everyday, but at least i took ownership of my work and felt that there was a greater reason to do it than just a paycheque.
eesh. i just don't know what is to come next and i fear it will just be more of the same. and yet, i don't know what to do besides what i have been doing by keeping my network warm and sending out updated cv's to people in that industry. i was feeling really motivated and that i was sitting on the precipice of something interesting or exciting or just a change of some sort and now i fear that i am spinning my wheels and not getting anywhere apart from exactly where i already am.
blah, i am whining. and this is a funk. and i am not quite sure what to do to get out of it.
but, hey! i ran 14km last weekend and it felt great and not a huge stuggle and the 16km that i have scheduled for this coming weekend is not scaring the bajeezus out of me and that is good.
Monday, February 08, 2010
here i am
but what am i doing? where am i going? what do i want?
i wish i knew!
i am feeling restless and like i am not sure what direction i want to head in or what direction i should be headed in. i am holding out hope that the universe is going to show me the way on this one. i am not one to have faith that things just work out without doing the hard work and putting yourself out there, but i have done some of the work and have asked for what i want and i am going to try and have faith that the universe will point me in the right direction. or that it will point the right opportunity in my direction.
part of my current stuggle is that i am a little bored with the state of my life. it is good, don't get me wrong, but i feel as though i might be loosing my edge, loosing what makes me interesting and unique. and i am not quite sure what to do about getting that back apart from trying to find a job outside of the country. but then in reality, would i be ready to make that sort of change? i wish i knew.
sheesh.
i wish i knew!
i am feeling restless and like i am not sure what direction i want to head in or what direction i should be headed in. i am holding out hope that the universe is going to show me the way on this one. i am not one to have faith that things just work out without doing the hard work and putting yourself out there, but i have done some of the work and have asked for what i want and i am going to try and have faith that the universe will point me in the right direction. or that it will point the right opportunity in my direction.
part of my current stuggle is that i am a little bored with the state of my life. it is good, don't get me wrong, but i feel as though i might be loosing my edge, loosing what makes me interesting and unique. and i am not quite sure what to do about getting that back apart from trying to find a job outside of the country. but then in reality, would i be ready to make that sort of change? i wish i knew.
sheesh.
Friday, November 27, 2009
flying colours
well, i passed my allergy test and i am officially allergy free. so what causes my constant congestion and ickiness? dust, dryness, the environment. none of which i can get rid of. the allergist suggested that i move to hawaii. hmpf. as positive as this is, i really did want an answer to my congestion, but i suppose not having a problem is good news. and it means that sinus rinses are the way forward.
he also checked my lungs for asthma and i scored 100% on all three measures that they test for. he said that that rarely happens, which is music to a type a personality's ears. all that running, never smoking a cigarette in my life, and not being overweight are sure paying off!
he also checked my lungs for asthma and i scored 100% on all three measures that they test for. he said that that rarely happens, which is music to a type a personality's ears. all that running, never smoking a cigarette in my life, and not being overweight are sure paying off!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
things could get interesting around here
the past few weeks, i have been rather bored at my job. it could be because at the end of the day i don't have much energy left and it feels as though i spend so many hours there each week, but haven't been feeling inspired by what i do, by what those around me do, or by what i see in my future at this company. it doesn't help that there is a lot of talk of restructuring and business decisions that make all of our jobs tenuous at the moment.
normally, this would be inciting the typical anxious response from deep within me, but i am not that worried. maybe i should be. or maybe i am beginning to put more faith in the universe and the adage that you get back from the universe what you give to it.
and proof of this is the fact that i have been shortlisted for an international, short-term consultancy, for which i will interview tomorrow morning (whilst remembering, of course). it seems like it would be a great opportunity for me to utilise my expertise and demonstrate my ability to coordinate a rapid assessment from start to finish. although i am concerned that my availability might stand in the way from being offered this job, somehow i think the universe will do what is best.
i wouldn't mind you sending me your positive job interview thoughts about 8am my time tomorrow though!
normally, this would be inciting the typical anxious response from deep within me, but i am not that worried. maybe i should be. or maybe i am beginning to put more faith in the universe and the adage that you get back from the universe what you give to it.
and proof of this is the fact that i have been shortlisted for an international, short-term consultancy, for which i will interview tomorrow morning (whilst remembering, of course). it seems like it would be a great opportunity for me to utilise my expertise and demonstrate my ability to coordinate a rapid assessment from start to finish. although i am concerned that my availability might stand in the way from being offered this job, somehow i think the universe will do what is best.
i wouldn't mind you sending me your positive job interview thoughts about 8am my time tomorrow though!
Monday, May 11, 2009
if i ruled the world
i have had three 'run in's' lately in my jobs. and the phrase 'run in' is probably too harsh because there have been no disagreements or arguments, just situations where i want to shake sense into people so that they would do things my way thereby reducing challenges in the future.
situation 1 - there is a very eager woman who wishes to volunteer her time and energies into doing some work for a cause. we've discussed it and i know she fears that i am moving too slowly, but at the same time, my experience and my relations with law enforcement and knowledge of ethical principles of service provision makes me confident that she needs to slow down before doing unintentional damage. i have tried to explain this to her, but she just seems hellbent on moving forward.
situation 2 - i am involved in a philanthropic endeavour with my full time position and i have a colleague who i am working with on it who doesn't seem impressed that i am overcoming the initial challenges to open lines of communication and get things done. there is a chance that she feels it is her project, but i've been the one actually making things happen.
situation 3 - i am in the middle of a political fight at work. i am supposed to liaise between groups and to ensure processes are followed and implemented so that we don't open ourselves up to being sued or anyone taking legal action against us. but try convincing the people who are in the field that! cripes.
i know that i can be stubborn as all get out and that i like things to be done my way, but what happens when you genuinely believe that your way is the right way? on some things, i can take a step back and just allow the pieces to fall in time (as in situation 3), but sometimes i just wish people would listen to me so that they will stop creating more work for me!
blah. and sorry about the cryptic nature of this rather hum drum post, but even writing about work seems a bit sketchy so i am trying to keep it vague, making rather irritating reading, i am sure.
in other more positive thoughts, i am going to san francisco in 21 days!
situation 1 - there is a very eager woman who wishes to volunteer her time and energies into doing some work for a cause. we've discussed it and i know she fears that i am moving too slowly, but at the same time, my experience and my relations with law enforcement and knowledge of ethical principles of service provision makes me confident that she needs to slow down before doing unintentional damage. i have tried to explain this to her, but she just seems hellbent on moving forward.
situation 2 - i am involved in a philanthropic endeavour with my full time position and i have a colleague who i am working with on it who doesn't seem impressed that i am overcoming the initial challenges to open lines of communication and get things done. there is a chance that she feels it is her project, but i've been the one actually making things happen.
situation 3 - i am in the middle of a political fight at work. i am supposed to liaise between groups and to ensure processes are followed and implemented so that we don't open ourselves up to being sued or anyone taking legal action against us. but try convincing the people who are in the field that! cripes.
i know that i can be stubborn as all get out and that i like things to be done my way, but what happens when you genuinely believe that your way is the right way? on some things, i can take a step back and just allow the pieces to fall in time (as in situation 3), but sometimes i just wish people would listen to me so that they will stop creating more work for me!
blah. and sorry about the cryptic nature of this rather hum drum post, but even writing about work seems a bit sketchy so i am trying to keep it vague, making rather irritating reading, i am sure.
in other more positive thoughts, i am going to san francisco in 21 days!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
a whole lot of nothing
that is what this election was, a whole lot of nothing. pretty much the same result (including rob anders and jason kenney, way to go calgary!) and it cost multiple millions of canadians' dollars. yippee.
though, working the election was quite interesting; i met a nice lady that i like to call mimi who was my poll clerk and we chatted about politics (even though i am sure you are not really supposed to) and religion and although we disagreed or saw things differently, i hope i opened her eyes a little so she can stop feeling sorry for muslim women.
it hurt my heart a little each time i had to read aloud 'harper' while we were counting the votes, but at least it is not a majority. and hello, ndp riding in alberta! go edmonton.
i must admit that the riding of calgary southwest is a lot more diverse than i ever gave it credit for and that made me happier. i was also proud when new canadians whipped out their crisp canadian citizenship cards (which the government should really make look prettier, like the maple cards) or when i had to explain the riding and party system to new voters. although the lowest voter turn out in canada's history is pretty much the most embarassing thing ever.
and, the whole system of going through people's identification reminded me handling the ugliest, dirtiest identity documents and financial statements when i worked at the salvation army one year. but it also reminded me of how fascinating i find it when you get a glimpse into people's lives through those same documents. call me nosy, i suppose.
now, back to focusing on the us presidential election, which promises to be a hell of a lot more interesting than ours.
though, working the election was quite interesting; i met a nice lady that i like to call mimi who was my poll clerk and we chatted about politics (even though i am sure you are not really supposed to) and religion and although we disagreed or saw things differently, i hope i opened her eyes a little so she can stop feeling sorry for muslim women.
it hurt my heart a little each time i had to read aloud 'harper' while we were counting the votes, but at least it is not a majority. and hello, ndp riding in alberta! go edmonton.
i must admit that the riding of calgary southwest is a lot more diverse than i ever gave it credit for and that made me happier. i was also proud when new canadians whipped out their crisp canadian citizenship cards (which the government should really make look prettier, like the maple cards) or when i had to explain the riding and party system to new voters. although the lowest voter turn out in canada's history is pretty much the most embarassing thing ever.
and, the whole system of going through people's identification reminded me handling the ugliest, dirtiest identity documents and financial statements when i worked at the salvation army one year. but it also reminded me of how fascinating i find it when you get a glimpse into people's lives through those same documents. call me nosy, i suppose.
now, back to focusing on the us presidential election, which promises to be a hell of a lot more interesting than ours.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
raw only - day three
eating only raw food is boring. and takes a lot of chopping and a lot of chewing.
i have noticed that i am tired earlier in the day and i surprisingly only have cravings in the middle of the day when i am at work and usually for coffee and chocolate cake. this chocolate cake thing is getting out of hand!
i can still concentrate fine, i am not moody, and i feel otherwise normal. apart from starving right now, but that is because i am staying at work late in preparations for my upcoming visits to the camps, where i assume i will be able to buy bananas if i am in need of some raw food hunger satisfiers.
i have noticed that i am tired earlier in the day and i surprisingly only have cravings in the middle of the day when i am at work and usually for coffee and chocolate cake. this chocolate cake thing is getting out of hand!
i can still concentrate fine, i am not moody, and i feel otherwise normal. apart from starving right now, but that is because i am staying at work late in preparations for my upcoming visits to the camps, where i assume i will be able to buy bananas if i am in need of some raw food hunger satisfiers.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
In Between
today i woke up feeling rather Old and i still can't figure out why.
this morning i was thinking that i have been invited for coffee, for drinks, to the mountains, to a birthday party, and for breakfast from people at home since they know i will be around. and that made me feel really Good.
unfortunately i have been overcome with an extreme feeling of Laziness, which has made feel really useless and Bored out of my mind. i think this might be related to Waiting to go home.
i also feel as though i am somewhere In Between and i think that has a lot to do a lot of different things, but partly because i am Done with this university thing and this small town living and i am Eager to get back to the busy schedule that tends to make my world make more sense.
for some reason this all seems to demand the use of Capitals.
this morning i was thinking that i have been invited for coffee, for drinks, to the mountains, to a birthday party, and for breakfast from people at home since they know i will be around. and that made me feel really Good.
unfortunately i have been overcome with an extreme feeling of Laziness, which has made feel really useless and Bored out of my mind. i think this might be related to Waiting to go home.
i also feel as though i am somewhere In Between and i think that has a lot to do a lot of different things, but partly because i am Done with this university thing and this small town living and i am Eager to get back to the busy schedule that tends to make my world make more sense.
for some reason this all seems to demand the use of Capitals.
Saturday, December 17, 2005
guns or butter
i am bored. bored of reading about the same topics. bored of packing. bored of saturdays waiting til i get to leave.
the campus is dead and rather depressing, makes me wonder what the summer months will be like.
it is strange to be packing for a 3 week visit home. taking a vacation to your own house. at least i don't have to pack shampoo and dental floss. i will pack a tooth brush and deodorant though, those are always important on long journeys. if only everyone on those long flights appreciated the beauty of a clean mouth and fresh smelling pits.
i still think i have too much stuff. sadly, i have not learnt how to pack properly. i can say that i am not sure if i will ever learn how exactly to bring only what you need. a concept as equally elusive as economics to me.
i managed to get myself out of a rather hairy situation only to find myself in another, which is far more hurtful and already involves more people than it should. why can't i ever do things from front to back rather than from back to front?
the campus is dead and rather depressing, makes me wonder what the summer months will be like.
it is strange to be packing for a 3 week visit home. taking a vacation to your own house. at least i don't have to pack shampoo and dental floss. i will pack a tooth brush and deodorant though, those are always important on long journeys. if only everyone on those long flights appreciated the beauty of a clean mouth and fresh smelling pits.
i still think i have too much stuff. sadly, i have not learnt how to pack properly. i can say that i am not sure if i will ever learn how exactly to bring only what you need. a concept as equally elusive as economics to me.
i managed to get myself out of a rather hairy situation only to find myself in another, which is far more hurtful and already involves more people than it should. why can't i ever do things from front to back rather than from back to front?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)