number crunching

i posted a comment over at flotsam, where on her fifth year blogging anniversary she ran some numbers.  a good idea i thought, so i am posting my comment here with a few more items that i have thought of since.

children conceived: 0
live babies acquired: 0
men married: 0
apartments lived in: 5
books written: 1 (if you count a thesis)
degrees acquired: 1
unfamiliar countries visited: 17
unfamiliar states visited: 0
couches owned: 5
pets felled by disease/neglect: 0
days admitted to hospital: 0
literary rejections received: 0 (but i have received a number of professsional rejections!)
pounds gained: -10
kidney stones passed: 0

and a few of my own:

humanitarian emergencies survived: 1
doctors dated: 3
soldiers dated: 1
teachers dated: 1
statisticians dated: 1
pilots dated: 2

hunters dated: 1
houses purchased: 1
heartbreaks suffered: 1
countries lived in: 4

tropical diseases contracted: 1
blogs maintained: 1

social networking profiles created: 3

social networking profiles maintained: 1
bottles of wine consumed: even if i remembered to count, i wouldn't have had the capacity to at the time

laptops owned: 3

cars named dieter driven: 1

grandparents lost: 2

jobs held: 3, 2 concurrently

tattoos inked: 2

bites of chicken consumed: 3 +/-

itunes songs collected: 4715

languages learned: 1/8

photographs taken: 1000s, maybe even 10,000s

friends met, books read, and tears shed: statistics unavailable until technology improves!

 

i would love to hear what you have to say about your last 5 years!

one hell of a hard week

this past week was hard. sort of like how 25 was hard.

and how do i know it was so hard? on wednesday i ate chocolate fudge cake and brussel sprouts for dinner. just because i wanted to. and the sprouts were not going to last much longer in my fridge. on friday i ate a Ritter Sport delicious bar of chocolate for dinner then fell asleep for 12 hours. 12 full hours of sleep uninterrupted by downstairs neighbours, by car alarms, or by that pesking alarm waking me up for yet another day of work. i feel fantastic.

but that week was still hard.

and i am up bright and early on a saturday morning, sipping my capuccino and looking at this cafe's menu trying to find something that has iron in it since i have not eaten meat in nearly 2 months and i am feeling as though i might be anemic. instead of actually having a blood test to check this out, i am just going to eat a cheeseburger and see if that helps.

26

dear 26,

man, was that a year. you were so much easier to deal with than 25, thank the good lord.

we did a lot together, you and i. we travelled to a few different african countries – we got stung by sea urchins in zanzibar, we safaried with the fam in kenya in the safarimobile, we hung out on a few different indian ocean beaches, we hiked and camped in the rift valley, we fell in love with ethiopia and the smell of frankincense, we melted and battled malaria in egypt, and we roadtripped in tanzania. we also visited in london, and were canadian bound twice.

together we met some pretty fantastic people and have a lot of stories to tell about our year together. some that can only be brought out when children are not present and some that we have photographic proof of (thank you facebook). we worked harder than we’ve ever had to work at a job. and got paid less than we’ve ever gotten paid for a real job.

there was a good amount of stress that we shared though, and i think we can partially blame that for the new creases i found with you. i won’t blame you though, i know it is not your fault. i believe that you wanted the best for me and i trusted you. unlike that 25. jerk.

between current jobs and future careers, i worried a lot this year. i will probably never stop worrying, but it would be nice if you could have told me that it will All Be OK when i was in mid-crisis. and there were a few.

together we met a soldier and had cheese and wine on patios during thunder storms, field trips to war cemetaries, safari lodges, african camp sites, the produce section, and a lot of indian food. we dealt with distance, work commitments, directional changes, differing perspectives, previous relationships, travels to south africa (him), egypt (me), and tanzania and canada (us). i began to rethink all the things i thought i wanted. most are still on the table, but i was challenged in new ways and i think you knew all along it would be ok. thanks for that, if i haven’t said it before.

26, we’ve moved into a new nest together and in the process had to navigate some friendships that were heading off the map. but i would say we built more than we tore down this year, much of which will last through 27 and beyond. i think we made a good team. here’s hoping your friend 27 will be into teamwork as well.

but what is up with being sick so much this year? i have never been the sick kid before, but between sinus infections, malaria, coughs, colds, sore kidneys, and a touch of the laryngitis, i think that i need to pay more attention to my health in future years and perhaps this was a gentle reminder. and sunscreen, i must remember sunscreen. but really, enough with the sick. it doesn’t suit me.

and here i must bid you adieu. keep up the good work. and if you she her, tell 27 that i have some big expectations for the upcoming year.

lu

sometimes a girl needs tea

it is day 3 of lent and i do not miss chocolate too much. this could be the result of the dismal selection of chocolate in this country, the substandard quality of cadbury's, and the sheer lack of mini eggs. i am not going to lie, giving up something you rarely have is not too difficult. but i have only had 2 coffees this week, which is truly astounding considering the amount of coffee i have been consuming the past month. i have substituted my morning coffee with an evening tea, but it is earl grey and so delicious. and sometimes a girl just needs tea.

lately i have been in need of tea. i am in the middle of conducting some cleansing. no crazy diet or supplements just a cleanse of my life that includes refocusing and rejuvenating. and if that doesn't sound new age-y and flighty, i don't know what does. but i need it and i can credit 25 for teaching me to know myself better and before i left for zanzibar i could sense that i needed a life cleanse and since i have been back i have done well to stay off the booze, the caffeine, the chocolate, and spend time alone doing things that repair.

last night is a perfect example, i went for a run (yay for a whole hour of running), had cereal and taost for dinner, read one of my 3 books on the go by flashlight due to the absence of electricity, practiced my french (or more like stared at my cahier d'exercices blankly and then furled my brow for about a half hour before retiring), listened to ray lamontagne, and went to bed by 10:00pm.

which brings me to another thought i have been thinking lately. often people will say things to me like, 'what an adventure it is to live in africa' or 'what a great experience you are having' and i know what they mean and that their intentions are good, but the reality is that this is just my life and it just happens to be lived in kenya at the moment. i am grateful that i have been given this opportunity (thank you canadian international development agency) and that i have met people who have made it more fun along the way, but this whole 'experience' is my life. tonight i plan on going to french class, getting some groceries, and going to a movie and it doesn't get much more mundane than that.

the happiest hour

i had my first after-work-happy-hour-special drinks yesterday and the 3 (or 4?) cosmopolitans were enough for me to be feeling pretty happy and sober again by 9:00pm. and the best part of it was that i was in bed by 11:00pm then up feeling fresh and chipper at 7:00am. all of sudden this whole happy hour thing makes so much sense! where have i been all these years between 4:00pm and 7:00pm on a monday night?

when i got home last night i was warmly welcomed with a new oven (previous to this glorious moment, i had been sans oven) which has left me dreaming of apple crisp, chocolate chip cookies, and raisin bran muffins all day at work. that dream was interrupted long enough for my boss to bring me a mars bar which i gobbled up as i rethought about giving up chocolate for lent, still without any decisions.

can i put a request out to the universe to post me some mini eggs?! but not the british kind (suz, wait til you try them, not nearly as good as the ones from the great white north). i know beggars can't be chosers, but really, they just do not compare.

interested in an update on the birthday celebrations? well here you go: i give the evening a 7.5 out of 10. too many sugary shots, great showing of different groups of people, free drinks and free rides, appearances from my full social calendar (but only a text message from the coup), and some friendly reprimands for sending messages after i'd had some red wine (but don't worry, none to 25, that jerk).

i hope to improve on my rating this weekend, however, when my flatmates and i host a cocktail party (or just a party, i still don't know the difference) as a late-birthday/going-away/it's-february-and-i-am-not-wearing-mittens-or-a-toque party. the invite list is sitting at 50 but sure to grow. i've got to represent over here in africa as my parents have become known to throw the best parties in the neighbourhood and that is a reputation that needs living up to if i have ever heard one. although it might difficult without hockey parents, tequila grandma, and the velvet painting.

repeated kick in the junk

dear 25,

as we spend our last day together, i thought it important to reflect on the past year and let you know how i feel about our relationship. if i had to say one thing it would be that it was a nice year. and by nice what i mean to say is that it often felt like repeated kicks in the junk. don't get me wrong, we had some good time together, you and i. we went to the olympics and went luging on table tops with some italians and there was that trip that we took, just the two of us, to amsterdam. i had never had a vacation like that and i am so glad that i did it because it gave me the confidence that i could do it again, anywhere. we also had a great summer together, against all odds, and i moved to a whole new continent with you and managed to settle in really well. you also helped put me in contact with people from all over the world who became fast friends and who i will maintain relationships with for years to come. thanks for that.

but i've decided that we should part ways after today, you going on to harass another unsuspecting young 24 year old and me moving on to bigger and better things. no offence intended, of course. but i really don't see a future for us. just doesn't feel right.

i'll give you this much, you taught me a lot. but did i have to learn it all in one year? couldn't you have been a little easier on me at times? but i suppose because you were such a hard ass i have grown and learned more than i would have without you standing behind me, giving me a swift kick in the behind everytime i slowed down or things seemed to be comfortable.

i loved with all i had this past year. i fought for things to no avail. i said good-bye to people i loved and i still believe that i will see some of them return once i get rid of you. others, i will have to keep alive in my memory and the memory of my family, but at least i was able to say good-bye. i worked the hardest i have ever worked and was proud of the result. i continued to figure out who i am and what it is i expect. from people, from myself, from the world in which i live. i had to make some decisions that hurt or disappointed people this year and i am going to blame you as soon as you are gone.

there were many times where i felt well and truly alive this past year. i suppose i could give you some credit for that. i have looked back to think that i am living the life that i expected of myself and i didn't just land in africa by some twist of luck but by a lot of hard work, persistence, and dedication. i didn't really slow down this past year even though i felt incredibly lonely and isolated on occassion. i still feel like there is an uphill battle in front of me, but i am on my way and your urging and proding helped me move in the right direction. even if i wanted to punch you in the face weekly.

i know it is a clique, but really, it is not you, it is me. i am ready to move on and see what 26 holds for me. somehow i cannot imagine it to be the same type of volatile, love/hate relationship you and i have carried on for the past 364 days. but i will most certainly remember you and talk about you fondly in a few years. and don't try and sort yourself out and treat me like a queen now that we are done, that doesn't work. you can't go backwards and fix things after they were broken. let's just walk away knowing we are better for this past year and look forward and to the future. and if you get a drunk text message from me in a few weeks, please ignore it or just laugh to yourself about how i will never learn to keep my phone in my bag after i've been drinking red wine.

have a good year 25, i hope you are kind to the next girl you are involved with. at least we can both walk away knowing we learned from one another and maybe one day we can be friends. like maybe when i am 50.

yours truly,
lu

ps - that time that i repeatedly screamed at you and gave you the finger on that road trip. sorry about that, i was angry and frustrated. i've deleted the photo, if that makes it any better.

...and a half

yesterday was my half year birthday, so i can officially say i am 25 and a half years old. i hope the second half of 25 is better than the first. it wasn't awful but it was definitely one of the harder half years i have had. 24 was so great, so easy, so fun, things seemed to be settling and then 25 came along and just threw everything up into the air and the pieces are still landing.

it has been a relatively good year, living in the uk, travelling in europe, learning lots on my ma course, but it has been an extremely hard few months as well. and i am not sure exactly why. there are some pretty obvious reasons, but i am beginning to think that the reasons it is really hard are yet to be realised and someday it will all make sense.

but anyways, happy half year birthday to me!

feeling the collective

i don't feel as though i know many things right now, but here are some that i do know:

• 25 is hard
• drinking beer and eating crackers with friends on a tuesday night is sometimes what you need
• buying a condo and getting engaged are not in my immediate future
• it is some sort of release to sing as loud as your lungs will let you whilst driving to Not Ready to Make Nice by the Dixie Chicks
• i think cosmetics are killing women slowly
• i am getting my make-up done at MAC for a spring fever party this weekend
• finding the balance will always be a challenge
• 25 is all about balance

big and not so stinky city

i love big cities. london is one of them. and i had a really nice weekend there. i think i heard more spanish being spoken than i have since i was in central america in the spring. my dad mentioned that there were a lot of non-native-born british people there and i really noticed it since i had been there last as well. i love it though, so dynamic and pluralistic. but there are some people who have quite a problem with this, and i saw and heard them too...

we went on the london eye, which i now call the eyeball because well, i love that word. i had a teensy weensy panic attack but had a little sit down and then i could enjoy the views of the city. i must say, not an entirely pretty city, but i still kept wondering what it would be like to live there. i am really curious to find out one day.

my birthday lasted an entire week and i think it has finally ended with a nice dinner with some of my flatmates last night. it was a gorgeous meal and really nice company. and it included a small surprise, which i love - an unexpected card and gift!

and it made me feel a lot less frustrated because yesterday and the day previous were quite trying in terms of my lectures. partly because i know i need to prepare more, partly because i didn't feel like i had learnt too much after leaving either of them and that i couldn't have done much to improve the quality of the lecture or the absence of any meaningful discussion. but i am hoping that that will improve in the coming week. or at least i am keeping my fingers crossed.