today was my first day at my new job. it is just a temporary post at the moment as the details of contracts and salaries and technicalities are sorted out, but it didn't stop me from being nervous.
in the end, there was no reason to worry and it was difficult to slip back into the system that i left a few years ago. the workload will be heavy and the obstacles in front of the team, rather substantial. but if i am up for a challenge, it is there for the taking.
i can tell that the challenges will include: desks not lined up in any logical order in the office (yes, i am serious), a coworker who likes to listen to music at just audible levels, and utter lack of infrastructure in what is colloquially referred to as a 'resource poor' working environment.
in many ways, it is a great opportunity and a position that i can shape into my own and define as i go. but it will also involve a lot of ambiguity and a certain degree of risk. a bit like being the underdog and it could go either way, really.
i am happy for the chance to get involved in some potentially interesting project development and the flexibility that comes when you do not have a long term contract, which means i can still take my upcoming birthday trip to ghana, head home for a visit in march, and decide my own working hours.
maybe my independent spirit and no-nonsense manner of thinking about the development game will be pleased with this arrangement. or maybe my love for organisation, planning, and preparations will be driven mad with the lack of clarity or clearly defined boundaries and roles.
only time will tell in this instance. like many before and certainly many more to come.
Showing posts with label optimism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label optimism. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Monday, March 14, 2011
wherein i use a few caps
ever since i woke up on january 1, 2011, i have felt a change a'coming. i have no idea what it will be nor when it will come, but i feel ready for it.
going to new york inspired me to get my arse in gear to get out into the world again and find something else to to for a little while. to not be afraid to leave the comforts of my home town again and to explore a little more, knowing that there is a whole lot of awesome to come home to anytime i choose. the beauty of an economy fuelled by a commodity-driven industry that is on the up once again, i suppose.
i cleaned out my closets, giving away a bunch of stuff and consigning some others (wherein i chose not to consign my clothes at one shop because they give all the unsold merchandise to an 'orphanage in africa' and couldn't answer me which of the 50+ countries they were referring to nor why they made the orphanage pay for the shipping of the clothes to their magical unnamable part of the continent). i updated my vaccines, passing out in the process, so that if i feed the urge to up and leave to a yellow feverish place, i will be covered (in fact, the reason i am up right now, even though it is midnight and i have a week full of early morning and it is the day of the year that daylight savings kicks your ass is because i forgot i have to take a live typhoid vaccine on an empty stomach and well, my stomach is not empty.
i have also decided to give up impatience and self doubt for lent. yes, i know this is not in the typical spirit of lent, but i needed a time frame and well, it was conveniently timely (is saying conveniently timely redundant??). i am reminding myself that everything has worked out thus far and will continue to do so, in a time frame that is never going to end or stop and as i have always said, there is no finish line and the whole success is not a destination thing (i think you can find some lame quote from me on the interwebs about that, actually).
i am trying to remember that an opportunity will come my way. no sense in worrying or fretting that time is passing me by (I AM GETTING OLDER, OH MY GOD, I AM BEHIND... you get the idea). if the past two years are any indication, opportunities find me and i do my best to put myself right in their path as best i can. i feel as though i have done that now and so now i just wait.
but waiting is not so bad. last week i braved the -20* temperatures and went to the joshua radin, cary brothers, laura jansen show and it was amazing. as i said on twitter, it made me want to fall in love and break up again and again. well, not really, but they sure did make it sound poetic and romantic and wonderful and heart wrenching. and a concert at the former silver dollar action centre? not so bad, especially if you like a little greasy pizza with your handsome singer/songwriters.
i followed that up with so many pints, breakfasts, coffees, and dinners with so many inspiring, intelligent, and hilarious people this past week that i was pleasantly reminded that i am surrounded by a community of people and i have a few greatest fans out there, which is always a nice boost to the confidence.
oh, and i ate at boxwood, which was a chorizon/polenta delight, had breakfast at wake in kensington, where they brew a strong cup of coffee and make mean eggs benedict, and had a perfectly poured latte at vendome cafe. so if you are in the city, go try those newcomers to the ever expanding culinary/coffeehouse scene around these parts.
going to new york inspired me to get my arse in gear to get out into the world again and find something else to to for a little while. to not be afraid to leave the comforts of my home town again and to explore a little more, knowing that there is a whole lot of awesome to come home to anytime i choose. the beauty of an economy fuelled by a commodity-driven industry that is on the up once again, i suppose.
i cleaned out my closets, giving away a bunch of stuff and consigning some others (wherein i chose not to consign my clothes at one shop because they give all the unsold merchandise to an 'orphanage in africa' and couldn't answer me which of the 50+ countries they were referring to nor why they made the orphanage pay for the shipping of the clothes to their magical unnamable part of the continent). i updated my vaccines, passing out in the process, so that if i feed the urge to up and leave to a yellow feverish place, i will be covered (in fact, the reason i am up right now, even though it is midnight and i have a week full of early morning and it is the day of the year that daylight savings kicks your ass is because i forgot i have to take a live typhoid vaccine on an empty stomach and well, my stomach is not empty.
i have also decided to give up impatience and self doubt for lent. yes, i know this is not in the typical spirit of lent, but i needed a time frame and well, it was conveniently timely (is saying conveniently timely redundant??). i am reminding myself that everything has worked out thus far and will continue to do so, in a time frame that is never going to end or stop and as i have always said, there is no finish line and the whole success is not a destination thing (i think you can find some lame quote from me on the interwebs about that, actually).
i am trying to remember that an opportunity will come my way. no sense in worrying or fretting that time is passing me by (I AM GETTING OLDER, OH MY GOD, I AM BEHIND... you get the idea). if the past two years are any indication, opportunities find me and i do my best to put myself right in their path as best i can. i feel as though i have done that now and so now i just wait.
but waiting is not so bad. last week i braved the -20* temperatures and went to the joshua radin, cary brothers, laura jansen show and it was amazing. as i said on twitter, it made me want to fall in love and break up again and again. well, not really, but they sure did make it sound poetic and romantic and wonderful and heart wrenching. and a concert at the former silver dollar action centre? not so bad, especially if you like a little greasy pizza with your handsome singer/songwriters.
i followed that up with so many pints, breakfasts, coffees, and dinners with so many inspiring, intelligent, and hilarious people this past week that i was pleasantly reminded that i am surrounded by a community of people and i have a few greatest fans out there, which is always a nice boost to the confidence.
oh, and i ate at boxwood, which was a chorizon/polenta delight, had breakfast at wake in kensington, where they brew a strong cup of coffee and make mean eggs benedict, and had a perfectly poured latte at vendome cafe. so if you are in the city, go try those newcomers to the ever expanding culinary/coffeehouse scene around these parts.
Monday, March 07, 2011
ready for this
apart from a really kick ass trip to an amazing city, my visit to new york was actually for another reason entirely and i just appended my own fun to the end of a 5 day training session. as these things often do, it certainly had its ups and its downs, but my overall impression was a positive one and i felt that i walked away with practical skills and a pocket full of contacts that could potentially be helpful for future professional gigs.
i prepared myself before going that i would likely be the odd one out, the one who is not currently based 'in the field' and who doesn't have scathes of emergency experience, but has been selected just like everyone else to attend. surprisingly, this didn't feel like an impediment throughout the time and i am not sure if that was because i was ready for it, i am more confident now than when i was last in one of these situations, or the other participants and facilitators weren't dickheads. i think it was a little from columns a, b and c.
the best part of it all was that at a few different points, i thought to myself, i can do this. and not only can i do this, i think i could do it well. as someone who regularly battles with self doubt, internal criticisms, obsessive thinking, and anxiety, this was good, very good.
the best part of the entire experience was a few days after it finished and i was wandering my way around new york city (rather than long island, where we had been holed up for the training), when i got an email telling me that i was an asset to the training and asking if i was interested in potential positions that could come up. with a resounding yes, i politely responded and there was a little back and forth. i suspect it all comes down to waiting on funding, but i was happy to be considered after what felt like a 5 day job interview. i guess i passed.
but. of course there is a but! but, now i haven't head for a few weeks and i am terrified that all this momentum is going to come to a screeching halt and i will be Stuck. with a capital S. and that is the terrifying part. i have spent the better part of the past 2 years rebuilding, settling and repairing. and now i am ready to head back out into the big, bad world.
last year i thought that i wasn't strong enough or interested enough or something enough to start again in a new city or a new country alone. for a long time, i had in my head that i would only ever being doing that with someone. well, that someone isn't around and hasn't been for a few years now, but it took me awhile to feel strong enough and excited enough to uproot again and start a new job and build a new life in a new place. and now that i feel that i am there, i am scared that an opportunity is not going to come my way. i will keep applying for things that interest me, but the anxiety is creeping in.
and this after i had some serious conversations with myself about what i would be giving up if i left calgary now. the stability, the money, the closeness with my family, the familiarity, the nest... and although i am still not sure how i would manage all that change, i feel like i would figure it out. but now i just need the opportunity to allow me the chance to figure it out.
eesh.
and there you have it, interwebs, that is what has been on my mind for the past few weeks since returning from new york. i needed a shake up, but i am also feeling impatient and just want to get on with things now that i have made a decision. so, universe, are you listening?
i prepared myself before going that i would likely be the odd one out, the one who is not currently based 'in the field' and who doesn't have scathes of emergency experience, but has been selected just like everyone else to attend. surprisingly, this didn't feel like an impediment throughout the time and i am not sure if that was because i was ready for it, i am more confident now than when i was last in one of these situations, or the other participants and facilitators weren't dickheads. i think it was a little from columns a, b and c.
the best part of it all was that at a few different points, i thought to myself, i can do this. and not only can i do this, i think i could do it well. as someone who regularly battles with self doubt, internal criticisms, obsessive thinking, and anxiety, this was good, very good.
the best part of the entire experience was a few days after it finished and i was wandering my way around new york city (rather than long island, where we had been holed up for the training), when i got an email telling me that i was an asset to the training and asking if i was interested in potential positions that could come up. with a resounding yes, i politely responded and there was a little back and forth. i suspect it all comes down to waiting on funding, but i was happy to be considered after what felt like a 5 day job interview. i guess i passed.
but. of course there is a but! but, now i haven't head for a few weeks and i am terrified that all this momentum is going to come to a screeching halt and i will be Stuck. with a capital S. and that is the terrifying part. i have spent the better part of the past 2 years rebuilding, settling and repairing. and now i am ready to head back out into the big, bad world.
last year i thought that i wasn't strong enough or interested enough or something enough to start again in a new city or a new country alone. for a long time, i had in my head that i would only ever being doing that with someone. well, that someone isn't around and hasn't been for a few years now, but it took me awhile to feel strong enough and excited enough to uproot again and start a new job and build a new life in a new place. and now that i feel that i am there, i am scared that an opportunity is not going to come my way. i will keep applying for things that interest me, but the anxiety is creeping in.
and this after i had some serious conversations with myself about what i would be giving up if i left calgary now. the stability, the money, the closeness with my family, the familiarity, the nest... and although i am still not sure how i would manage all that change, i feel like i would figure it out. but now i just need the opportunity to allow me the chance to figure it out.
eesh.
and there you have it, interwebs, that is what has been on my mind for the past few weeks since returning from new york. i needed a shake up, but i am also feeling impatient and just want to get on with things now that i have made a decision. so, universe, are you listening?
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
ted on a tuesday
you know it is a rather monotonous day of work when i come up with more ted talk recommendations.
as my go to website that i am allowed to stream video from at work (there are not many), ted has a few gems up on its main page at the moment. take a look if you too need some stimulating background noise to desk work that you are not particularly thrilled about. or if you just want to watch some inspiring talks by two humble individuals.
i love a lady who isn't afraid to drop an eff bomb if it makes her point clear (although she refrains in this talk). peace activists don't always get a lot of credit from the 'establishment,' but i think that Jody Williams can speak their language and to boot, she is not an avowed pacifist. which means she gets my vote. for what, i don't know, but a vote nonetheless.
a canadian kid whose life didn't go quite as he planned (ever heard that one before?) turned it into an internet sensation and then a best selling book. Neil Parischa talks about the As of awesome and how no one is immune to hardship or negative experiences, but that being authentic is one of the ways to get through it. this should be required viewing. for everyone.
as my go to website that i am allowed to stream video from at work (there are not many), ted has a few gems up on its main page at the moment. take a look if you too need some stimulating background noise to desk work that you are not particularly thrilled about. or if you just want to watch some inspiring talks by two humble individuals.
i love a lady who isn't afraid to drop an eff bomb if it makes her point clear (although she refrains in this talk). peace activists don't always get a lot of credit from the 'establishment,' but i think that Jody Williams can speak their language and to boot, she is not an avowed pacifist. which means she gets my vote. for what, i don't know, but a vote nonetheless.
a canadian kid whose life didn't go quite as he planned (ever heard that one before?) turned it into an internet sensation and then a best selling book. Neil Parischa talks about the As of awesome and how no one is immune to hardship or negative experiences, but that being authentic is one of the ways to get through it. this should be required viewing. for everyone.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
it gets better
this video breaks my heart, but gives me more hope than anything.
if you haven't already, watch the video that went viral and began the movement called the it gets better project.
what an inspiring message - it does get better and it's up to all us to make sure that it does.
if you haven't already, watch the video that went viral and began the movement called the it gets better project.
what an inspiring message - it does get better and it's up to all us to make sure that it does.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
'tis the season of red cups, party dresses, baking days, and the peanuts christmas special
so what's going on with me lately?
i seem to have my life under control. i was seriously debating hosting a christmas (or non-denominational seasonally festive, if you prefer) party, but have decided against it because i am just now feeling as though i am on top of my life for the first time in a few months. it feels good.
instead, i think i will host myself a birthday party. because i am turning 30 in february and they tell me that this is one of those milestone birthdays and i haven't had one of those in awhile.
work (x2) is going surprisingly well. i thought i would be drowning in tasks and to do lists, but i am keeping my head above water, if only just. the energy and recognition i have received since the avenue top 40 under 40 was released has kept me motivated and moving forward and i am hoping i can ride that momentum out as much as possible.
my volunteers are no longer zapping me of all my spirit and i am finding the language to flip their assumptions and misconceptions on their heads without being offensive. i am asked to host, present, and attend various events and i am now picking and choosing which ones i attend rather than just saying yes.
for instance, i get to have lunch with calgary's new mayor tomorrow! well, me and a bunch of other people, but i am still looking forward to it. but i haven't figured out what i will wear. and this seems like a rather important decision to make.
overall, my attitude is positive, my outlook is optimistic, and i am looking forward to some exciting things to celebrate the holiday season: the annual girls' christmas baking day, family traditions, an invitation to a christmas party where i can wear betsey again, and hopefully some downtime at the cabin.
amongst all this good stuff, i am trying not to feel as though i am not doing enough (whatever enough is), not to stress about what my next steps are, or about the seeming lack of any available, interesting, and intriguing men in my path! but that is a post and line of thinking for another post and another day.
i seem to have my life under control. i was seriously debating hosting a christmas (or non-denominational seasonally festive, if you prefer) party, but have decided against it because i am just now feeling as though i am on top of my life for the first time in a few months. it feels good.
instead, i think i will host myself a birthday party. because i am turning 30 in february and they tell me that this is one of those milestone birthdays and i haven't had one of those in awhile.
work (x2) is going surprisingly well. i thought i would be drowning in tasks and to do lists, but i am keeping my head above water, if only just. the energy and recognition i have received since the avenue top 40 under 40 was released has kept me motivated and moving forward and i am hoping i can ride that momentum out as much as possible.
my volunteers are no longer zapping me of all my spirit and i am finding the language to flip their assumptions and misconceptions on their heads without being offensive. i am asked to host, present, and attend various events and i am now picking and choosing which ones i attend rather than just saying yes.
for instance, i get to have lunch with calgary's new mayor tomorrow! well, me and a bunch of other people, but i am still looking forward to it. but i haven't figured out what i will wear. and this seems like a rather important decision to make.
overall, my attitude is positive, my outlook is optimistic, and i am looking forward to some exciting things to celebrate the holiday season: the annual girls' christmas baking day, family traditions, an invitation to a christmas party where i can wear betsey again, and hopefully some downtime at the cabin.
amongst all this good stuff, i am trying not to feel as though i am not doing enough (whatever enough is), not to stress about what my next steps are, or about the seeming lack of any available, interesting, and intriguing men in my path! but that is a post and line of thinking for another post and another day.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
looking into the crystal ball
my girls and i had our monthly ladies' night last night and this time, to make it a little more interesting, we invited a psychic to join us and to do readings while we enjoyed our wine and tarts. here is what she said:
going back to uni, getting a phd, and becoming a professor though? absolutely! i would love to and i think that being a form of a teacher or sharer of wisdom sounds like a good life plan for me.
- i should be a teacher or be teaching people, that is what i am here to do
- i will be moving to toronto in march or april and it will be for a job
- i try to be a master of whatever i choose to do
- i will likely go back to school to do a phd and this will be somewhere in eastern canada
- i might not have children because my life will revolve around my career and my husband
- my future is very positive
- my life will have many recurring patterns, a number of endings and beginnings
- my emotional health is good now and to keep it good, i should always exercise
- whoever i am meant to marry is in toronto and i am supposed to meet him next fall and it might be someone from my past, someone i have met a few years ago
- my brothers are going to be aok, even though one will experience various challenges, but he will just need us to let him know we care
going back to uni, getting a phd, and becoming a professor though? absolutely! i would love to and i think that being a form of a teacher or sharer of wisdom sounds like a good life plan for me.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
things could get interesting around here
the past few weeks, i have been rather bored at my job. it could be because at the end of the day i don't have much energy left and it feels as though i spend so many hours there each week, but haven't been feeling inspired by what i do, by what those around me do, or by what i see in my future at this company. it doesn't help that there is a lot of talk of restructuring and business decisions that make all of our jobs tenuous at the moment.
normally, this would be inciting the typical anxious response from deep within me, but i am not that worried. maybe i should be. or maybe i am beginning to put more faith in the universe and the adage that you get back from the universe what you give to it.
and proof of this is the fact that i have been shortlisted for an international, short-term consultancy, for which i will interview tomorrow morning (whilst remembering, of course). it seems like it would be a great opportunity for me to utilise my expertise and demonstrate my ability to coordinate a rapid assessment from start to finish. although i am concerned that my availability might stand in the way from being offered this job, somehow i think the universe will do what is best.
i wouldn't mind you sending me your positive job interview thoughts about 8am my time tomorrow though!
normally, this would be inciting the typical anxious response from deep within me, but i am not that worried. maybe i should be. or maybe i am beginning to put more faith in the universe and the adage that you get back from the universe what you give to it.
and proof of this is the fact that i have been shortlisted for an international, short-term consultancy, for which i will interview tomorrow morning (whilst remembering, of course). it seems like it would be a great opportunity for me to utilise my expertise and demonstrate my ability to coordinate a rapid assessment from start to finish. although i am concerned that my availability might stand in the way from being offered this job, somehow i think the universe will do what is best.
i wouldn't mind you sending me your positive job interview thoughts about 8am my time tomorrow though!
Sunday, September 13, 2009
what the future holds
(september 5, 2009)
i recently went to see a psychic. or maybe she calls herself a medium. or a spiritual counsellor. but whatever she calls herself, it was rather interesting...
a brief synopsis of what she suspects is in my future:
it looks like everything is coming up roses. or whatever that saying is!
i recently went to see a psychic. or maybe she calls herself a medium. or a spiritual counsellor. but whatever she calls herself, it was rather interesting...
a brief synopsis of what she suspects is in my future:
- i will be married in a few years and i am walking towards this, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the moment
- i will have two job opportunities that are incredibly interesting and great fits for me fall into my lap in about 8 months’ time
- these jobs will take me to the eastern part of canada, either toronto or ottawa and will be in the area of law, lobbying, politics, or government
- i will eventually do a phd, but not until sometime in my 30’s and not until after i finish the internal debate between a phd or going to law school
- my anxiety will also even itself out in my mid 30’s and this will have a lot to do with the person i marry and how steady and dependable he apparently will be
- my new nest will be tonnes of fun for me and my door will constantly revolve with all the entertaining i will do, but ultimately, i will love the silence of living alone
- my job right now pays the bills and that is about all, which is fine and necessary for this stage in my life
- no matter what job i do, i will stand in front of people and deliver information and presentations, eventually leading to a career as a professor and a consultant for international organisations
- i have been in transition for over a year and i am preparing for the next big change, even though i do not realise it
it looks like everything is coming up roses. or whatever that saying is!
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
time to grow up
after a wild weekend of houseboating with 17 other women in various states of career, relationship, and sobriety i feel ready to do a little growing up and put my recent past of dating, drinking, and debauchery behind me while i switch my focus to nesting, operation get fit (phase iii!), and other forms of maturity.
a year ago i was in a very similar place, but for a very different reason and it has been a rather hectic, tumultuous, and exciting year to get back here. i know you are supposed to say that you learn so much by overcoming challenges and that you are better for it, and i do believe this wholeheartedly, but if you had said that to me before last february, i would have supressed every urge to kick you right in the shins.
the truth is, i have made it here and that having a little fun along the way would not have made it nearly as enjoyable or as rewarding. and i am not about to turn into 'no fun lu' but i do think that this last kick at the can of an august long weekend might be the turning point towards heading back to where i thought i wanted to be a year ago.
maybe the universe was just telling me that i had a little more i needed to get out of my system.
and you just never do know, there might be more left in me in the future.
a year ago i was in a very similar place, but for a very different reason and it has been a rather hectic, tumultuous, and exciting year to get back here. i know you are supposed to say that you learn so much by overcoming challenges and that you are better for it, and i do believe this wholeheartedly, but if you had said that to me before last february, i would have supressed every urge to kick you right in the shins.
the truth is, i have made it here and that having a little fun along the way would not have made it nearly as enjoyable or as rewarding. and i am not about to turn into 'no fun lu' but i do think that this last kick at the can of an august long weekend might be the turning point towards heading back to where i thought i wanted to be a year ago.
maybe the universe was just telling me that i had a little more i needed to get out of my system.
and you just never do know, there might be more left in me in the future.
Monday, May 18, 2009
the casualties of war
i woke up this morning to the news that the sri lankan civil war is over. just like that, over.
you don't hear news like this very often. a conflict that simply ends when the leaders of one side are killed. i am not saying that the effects of the decades old civil war are over, but that the hostile combat will end without anyone to lead the rebel tamil tigers.
this is all the more interesting when considering that outside of sri lanka, the most money was raised for the tamil tigers by the diaspora community here in canada before our government banned them as a terrorist group a few years ago, making it illegal for tamil canadians to support them financially. additionally, the tamil communities in ottawa and toronto recently staged protests that shut down main vehicular arteries as a response to the human rights abuses against the tamil people in sri lanka.
and this is where my education comes to my mind. had the canadian government or any other foreign power decided to take action against the sri lankan government due to its alleged (and surely accurate) mistreatment of civilians who were in the line of fire and had to flee their homes, the sri lankan government would not have been free to corner and capture (or kill, as it were) the leaders of the rebel movement, effectively ending the war.
and this is where my favourite professor mark duffield would say that when aid groups interfere in warzones and concern themselves with the conduct of war, they can effectively prolong conflict.
i am all too familiar with the immense challenges of establishing, building, and maintaining peace after an armed conflict, but none of this can be done until two sides of a war stop shooting at each other and that had not happened in so many years in sri lanka so i am hopeful that this will be the beginning of the country's arrival at peace and reconciliation between two ethnic groups and two religions that share the island country.
you don't hear news like this very often. a conflict that simply ends when the leaders of one side are killed. i am not saying that the effects of the decades old civil war are over, but that the hostile combat will end without anyone to lead the rebel tamil tigers.
this is all the more interesting when considering that outside of sri lanka, the most money was raised for the tamil tigers by the diaspora community here in canada before our government banned them as a terrorist group a few years ago, making it illegal for tamil canadians to support them financially. additionally, the tamil communities in ottawa and toronto recently staged protests that shut down main vehicular arteries as a response to the human rights abuses against the tamil people in sri lanka.
and this is where my education comes to my mind. had the canadian government or any other foreign power decided to take action against the sri lankan government due to its alleged (and surely accurate) mistreatment of civilians who were in the line of fire and had to flee their homes, the sri lankan government would not have been free to corner and capture (or kill, as it were) the leaders of the rebel movement, effectively ending the war.
and this is where my favourite professor mark duffield would say that when aid groups interfere in warzones and concern themselves with the conduct of war, they can effectively prolong conflict.
i am all too familiar with the immense challenges of establishing, building, and maintaining peace after an armed conflict, but none of this can be done until two sides of a war stop shooting at each other and that had not happened in so many years in sri lanka so i am hopeful that this will be the beginning of the country's arrival at peace and reconciliation between two ethnic groups and two religions that share the island country.
Friday, May 15, 2009
amen!
aquarius horoscope for may 15th, 2009:
Maybe not everything has gone your way of late
but life moves in cycles and it won't be long before
you are on the upside of the curve again.
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
just needed a reminder 95 days in
1 - get enough sleep. i had let this one slip, proving that it will be a lifetime's challenge to continually get enough sleep. but last night, i took a nytol and went to bed at 10 (after watching american idol, but of course) and woke up feeling rather refreshed and perky this morning. what a difference a good night's sleep makes.
2 - buy a home. we have progress! well, a phone call with one mortgage broker, a meeting over coffee with another, and the necessary documents collected. not to mention a few perusals on the mls website. but i would gladly subcontract the entire mortgage broker/realtor/nest selection process to someone, i really do not enjoy it.
3 - reduce my level of anxiety. still going strong on winning this battle. not that i do not get anxious any longer, but that i am better able to recognise anxiety and do something to prevent or alleviate its symptoms. like running.
4 - take better photos. i don't think i have make one lick of progress on this goal as yet. but i am hoping my upcoming trip to san francisco will remedy this. bring on the photogenic city!
5 - become financially confident. i am feeling pretty confident about this, which i suppose is the entire objective of this goal. not that i think this feeling will last all year, but i am feel as though i am in a position to travel, to buy a new nest, and call my own shots. pretty sweet deal, if you ask me.
6 - be happy where i am. this one comes and goes as my mood changes and my mind daydreams. however, i have really come to terms with where i am and how i got here, even if it wasn't the way i would have ever planned. i like where i am, i like what lies ahead, and that seems like a way to obtain happiness.
7 - visit friends who live in other places. i am crapping out on this one. i had hopes of visiting with more people. but at least i had two out of town visitors recently. and i am going to thailand with a friend, who i think will be a good travelling chum. and that is something, right?
8 - make the best dating decisions for me. (the goal formally known as sort out my relationship). i am learning how to date again, with all its excitements, disappointments, and challenges and i don't suppose this is going to stop anytime soon so for the remainder of my 28th year, i would like to improve my dating decisions and ensure that they are the best ones for me. i think that i have done this so far, but will just need to keep this in mind moving forward.
2 - buy a home. we have progress! well, a phone call with one mortgage broker, a meeting over coffee with another, and the necessary documents collected. not to mention a few perusals on the mls website. but i would gladly subcontract the entire mortgage broker/realtor/nest selection process to someone, i really do not enjoy it.
3 - reduce my level of anxiety. still going strong on winning this battle. not that i do not get anxious any longer, but that i am better able to recognise anxiety and do something to prevent or alleviate its symptoms. like running.
4 - take better photos. i don't think i have make one lick of progress on this goal as yet. but i am hoping my upcoming trip to san francisco will remedy this. bring on the photogenic city!
5 - become financially confident. i am feeling pretty confident about this, which i suppose is the entire objective of this goal. not that i think this feeling will last all year, but i am feel as though i am in a position to travel, to buy a new nest, and call my own shots. pretty sweet deal, if you ask me.
6 - be happy where i am. this one comes and goes as my mood changes and my mind daydreams. however, i have really come to terms with where i am and how i got here, even if it wasn't the way i would have ever planned. i like where i am, i like what lies ahead, and that seems like a way to obtain happiness.
7 - visit friends who live in other places. i am crapping out on this one. i had hopes of visiting with more people. but at least i had two out of town visitors recently. and i am going to thailand with a friend, who i think will be a good travelling chum. and that is something, right?
8 - make the best dating decisions for me. (the goal formally known as sort out my relationship). i am learning how to date again, with all its excitements, disappointments, and challenges and i don't suppose this is going to stop anytime soon so for the remainder of my 28th year, i would like to improve my dating decisions and ensure that they are the best ones for me. i think that i have done this so far, but will just need to keep this in mind moving forward.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
twenty eight and one month
1 - get enough sleep. this has been all systems go and it was sheer luxury to be able to sleep when and for how long i pleased in the dominican republic. sleep in until 10am? absolutely! have a nap on the beach? why ever not. go to bed at 6 and sleep for 15 hours? done.
2 - buy a home. no progress whatsoever and with impending lay offs left, right, and centre, i am a bit nervous about this. but, i still have 11 months left of 28 to figure this one out.
3 - reduce my level of anxiety. i am kicking anxiety's arse and taking names. all things considered, i am owning the anxiety and making it my own. and by that i mean, things are going really well in this department.
4 - take better photos. i lugged my fancy camera all the way to the caribbean and even bought a new camera lens to replace the one mysteriously lost at a wedding shower, but i took all of one photo with it and instead carried my little digital around with me, which turned out to be much better at snapping the snaps of dance parties, sunglasses named blanche, and me sitting in an enormous piece of pottery.
5 - become financially confident. this is going to be a work in progress...
6 - be happy where i am. this may be a challenge in the coming months. partly because i just read a book set in sudan and my old stomping grounds of kenya (including mentioning my former office) and it got thoughts in my head. nothing too crazy, no plans at the mo, but being settled and happily settled may be difficult.
7 - visit friends who live in other places. still no plans that fit this goal precisely, but the trip to the dominican republic was wonderful and fabulous and all that i could have hoped for, but nothing that i could have expected.
8 - sort out my relationship. done, sorted, over. and if a certain someone shows their face in these parts, he can expect to be strung up with a piano wire by his balls.
Sunday, February 01, 2009
eight for twenty eight
i stole this concept from heather who stole it from her big sis. i thought it was a great idea so i made a few tiny changes to the format and here you have my 8 goals for my 28th year.
1 - get enough sleep. on a recent visit to my new (and awesome) doctor, i learned a lot about the importance of sleep. she really drove the point home when she said that there is a reason that sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture. i have been doing well lately, but i need to keep it up for the next year.
2 - buy a home. i think this is a reality for me this year and that is a nice feeling. i am not sure where or what or when, but in the year of 28, i want this to happen.
3 - reduce my level of anxiety. this is something that i have already started working on in 27, but i believe it will be a life long challenge and i plan to make some serious headway in 28. i never realised that it is not normal to live with underlying anxiety every day, but sometimes things need to get really bad before you have such a-ha moments.
4 - take better photos. i want to improve the good photos i take to become awesome photos, especially now that i have a swank new camera. whether i just take a lot of photos and learn through trial and error or whether i take a course, one way or the other, i want to learn what works, what doesn't work, and have something to show for it in the end.
5 - become financially confident. not necessarily make more money, but learn more about what to do with money once you make it. how to invest. how to save. how to spend.
6 - be happy where i am. by 'where' i mean not only physically but where i am with my relationships, my career, and myself. i do not expect that this is something that is achievable in 28, but i do think that it will be a priority this year. sometimes i just need to remind myself what i want and not what i think i should want.
7 - visit friends who live in other places. i have a few ideas in mind of people and places that i would like to visit in the coming year. top of my list are washington dc, chicago, vancouver island, but this all depends on schedules, timing, and money. so i will leave it general for now and see what develops.
8 - sort out my relationship. nuff said. not sure why i didn't list this as #1. and it may just take a full 12 months.
1 - get enough sleep. on a recent visit to my new (and awesome) doctor, i learned a lot about the importance of sleep. she really drove the point home when she said that there is a reason that sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture. i have been doing well lately, but i need to keep it up for the next year.
2 - buy a home. i think this is a reality for me this year and that is a nice feeling. i am not sure where or what or when, but in the year of 28, i want this to happen.
3 - reduce my level of anxiety. this is something that i have already started working on in 27, but i believe it will be a life long challenge and i plan to make some serious headway in 28. i never realised that it is not normal to live with underlying anxiety every day, but sometimes things need to get really bad before you have such a-ha moments.
4 - take better photos. i want to improve the good photos i take to become awesome photos, especially now that i have a swank new camera. whether i just take a lot of photos and learn through trial and error or whether i take a course, one way or the other, i want to learn what works, what doesn't work, and have something to show for it in the end.
5 - become financially confident. not necessarily make more money, but learn more about what to do with money once you make it. how to invest. how to save. how to spend.
6 - be happy where i am. by 'where' i mean not only physically but where i am with my relationships, my career, and myself. i do not expect that this is something that is achievable in 28, but i do think that it will be a priority this year. sometimes i just need to remind myself what i want and not what i think i should want.
7 - visit friends who live in other places. i have a few ideas in mind of people and places that i would like to visit in the coming year. top of my list are washington dc, chicago, vancouver island, but this all depends on schedules, timing, and money. so i will leave it general for now and see what develops.
8 - sort out my relationship. nuff said. not sure why i didn't list this as #1. and it may just take a full 12 months.
Monday, July 28, 2008
living in sin
is tough, tougher than i thought.
i don't tend to do things half-way and this was no different. i gave up my job, gave up my lovely little nest in nairobi, and moved to a country i had never been, where i did not speak the language, to be with someone i had not lived in the same country with since november 2007.
sounds a bit romatic when i say it like that.
the whole cross continental move was made tougher by the fact that when arrived our flat was not ready (or the outgoing tenant's new flat was not ready so somehow that meant we had to stay at a hotel and wait an extra 5 days and pay for a hotel in EUROPE for 5 nights, grrr....) and then once we moved into our new (love) nest, the soldier left for 11 days to play bang, bang, you're dead somewhere in a field in germany. to practice for a war that he will not fight in because he has already given the queen the finger-under-chin-flick and left the army (and for which i am eternally grateful).
so i wandered around the streets, price compared, purchased the necessities for a 3 month stint, read a lot of books, listened to a lot of music, saved birds, and wondered if this was perhaps the worst decision i had ever made.
then he got home, was filthy, showered, and the fighting, arguing, and bickering began. it sucked. who cooks (me), who cleans (me), who makes coffee better (me), who makes the bed (neither of us), who picks up their clothes (pfft, where would they go, back in the suitcases/boxes?), and who works (him) and is generally exhausted monday - friday (him).
but i think the worst of the adjustment is over. it ended when we decided to sit outside in the 36 degree heat on saturday afternoon and have a beer and a bite to eat. those beers are just so delicious on such a hot day that we had 3. did i also mention they are big?
the shops here close on sundays and as i had neglected my housegirlfriend tasks late last week, we were thin on the ground in the food department - we had to go for a shop.
and there is nothing like healing a relationship like going grocery shopping together. drunk. if we were not living in germany, i would have been mortified by my breath reeking of beer instead of just mildly uncomfortable as it were.
now i feel things are on the mend. due, in large part, to having the www at home (also my job and more tear enducing as the rest once german call centres were factored in). and this monday morning i was up at 6:30am seeing the soldier off to work (paintballing is considered work, thank you british tax payers) and feel pretty good about the future.
i am melting again and feel that perhaps a very large, very cold german beer is in order. it's sort of become a hobby.
i don't tend to do things half-way and this was no different. i gave up my job, gave up my lovely little nest in nairobi, and moved to a country i had never been, where i did not speak the language, to be with someone i had not lived in the same country with since november 2007.
sounds a bit romatic when i say it like that.
the whole cross continental move was made tougher by the fact that when arrived our flat was not ready (or the outgoing tenant's new flat was not ready so somehow that meant we had to stay at a hotel and wait an extra 5 days and pay for a hotel in EUROPE for 5 nights, grrr....) and then once we moved into our new (love) nest, the soldier left for 11 days to play bang, bang, you're dead somewhere in a field in germany. to practice for a war that he will not fight in because he has already given the queen the finger-under-chin-flick and left the army (and for which i am eternally grateful).
so i wandered around the streets, price compared, purchased the necessities for a 3 month stint, read a lot of books, listened to a lot of music, saved birds, and wondered if this was perhaps the worst decision i had ever made.
then he got home, was filthy, showered, and the fighting, arguing, and bickering began. it sucked. who cooks (me), who cleans (me), who makes coffee better (me), who makes the bed (neither of us), who picks up their clothes (pfft, where would they go, back in the suitcases/boxes?), and who works (him) and is generally exhausted monday - friday (him).
but i think the worst of the adjustment is over. it ended when we decided to sit outside in the 36 degree heat on saturday afternoon and have a beer and a bite to eat. those beers are just so delicious on such a hot day that we had 3. did i also mention they are big?
the shops here close on sundays and as i had neglected my housegirlfriend tasks late last week, we were thin on the ground in the food department - we had to go for a shop.
and there is nothing like healing a relationship like going grocery shopping together. drunk. if we were not living in germany, i would have been mortified by my breath reeking of beer instead of just mildly uncomfortable as it were.
now i feel things are on the mend. due, in large part, to having the www at home (also my job and more tear enducing as the rest once german call centres were factored in). and this monday morning i was up at 6:30am seeing the soldier off to work (paintballing is considered work, thank you british tax payers) and feel pretty good about the future.
i am melting again and feel that perhaps a very large, very cold german beer is in order. it's sort of become a hobby.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
(and)
(april 15, 2008)
i am trying something new, it is called Thinking Positively. i understand your shock and horror at the revoluntionariness of this idea, i approached it in quite the same way. (trepidation and anxiety? oh yeah)
i just finished a job application for a job that i really want, partly because it is what i want to do (or what i think i want to do) and the other part because if i could get a position like this, it would open up doors for all time (or at least that is how i see it from the outside). and partly (because who are we kidding, this stuff is important), it would allow me to afford a car (with red plates).*
besides, who can argue with protecting the refugees? and i do love me a refugee.**
the newfound positive part comes from being quite confident in my application and deciding to send this one out to the universe with some positive energy. and that i no longer have to stress that i am a University Graduate (and grad school at that) in my cover letter and by the sounds of my application i am actually able to Do Something. not that matters much in this field; there are a lot of people who i have been as yet unable to ascertain What They Do.
and, i nearly forgot, you will soon be able to google my name and come up with more than that photo that makes me look like i am pregnant (seriously, try it – and if you think that is bad, you should see the FULL PAGE version that appeared in the magazine) as my name will appear in published research. yay. unless you are a stalker and then, not yay.
could this newfound positive energy come from the impending trip to south africa, you might find yourself asking. and yes. it does.***
*yowsa, that is a lot of (), lo siento pero es muy facil a leer, no?
**wow, that is wildly inappropriate and makes me reconsider my public sense of humour. yet, i leave it.
***remember when your grade 7 teacher told you not to start sentences with And? well, she was wrong.
i am trying something new, it is called Thinking Positively. i understand your shock and horror at the revoluntionariness of this idea, i approached it in quite the same way. (trepidation and anxiety? oh yeah)
i just finished a job application for a job that i really want, partly because it is what i want to do (or what i think i want to do) and the other part because if i could get a position like this, it would open up doors for all time (or at least that is how i see it from the outside). and partly (because who are we kidding, this stuff is important), it would allow me to afford a car (with red plates).*
besides, who can argue with protecting the refugees? and i do love me a refugee.**
the newfound positive part comes from being quite confident in my application and deciding to send this one out to the universe with some positive energy. and that i no longer have to stress that i am a University Graduate (and grad school at that) in my cover letter and by the sounds of my application i am actually able to Do Something. not that matters much in this field; there are a lot of people who i have been as yet unable to ascertain What They Do.
and, i nearly forgot, you will soon be able to google my name and come up with more than that photo that makes me look like i am pregnant (seriously, try it – and if you think that is bad, you should see the FULL PAGE version that appeared in the magazine) as my name will appear in published research. yay. unless you are a stalker and then, not yay.
could this newfound positive energy come from the impending trip to south africa, you might find yourself asking. and yes. it does.***
*yowsa, that is a lot of (), lo siento pero es muy facil a leer, no?
**wow, that is wildly inappropriate and makes me reconsider my public sense of humour. yet, i leave it.
***remember when your grade 7 teacher told you not to start sentences with And? well, she was wrong.
Saturday, February 02, 2008
chocolate cake for breakfast
the best saturday mornings start with a run followed by a coffee and a piece of leftover chocolate birthday cake while talking to a soldier who is 10 hours behind but managing to stay awake for an hour long conversation.
i had a lovely birthday dinner with some ladies last night and that makes my social calendar full for 2 consecutive nights of dinners with friends, so the isolation is waning although last night i was fully prepare and totally content with climbing into bed. and there has been an invitation to 2 parties tonight so i might need to take my bright red nail polish out for another spin.
if all goes well with my weekend planning, i will be able to go to one of the informal camps of internally displaced persons where my organisation is providing aid. of course, i will only go if it is safe and if there are other people that i know there. but maybe i can be of use and lend an extra pair of hands. adorned with red nail polish.
yesterday i spent the morning at a workshop to talk about how bad things could possibly get and whether or not the humanitarian organisations are prepared for that. although it was not a rosy conversation, i learned a lot and feel better knowing that people are talking about these things and are doing what they can to prepare. and it is interesting because this is precisely what i studied at grad school. negotiated humanitarian access, neutrality, development vs humanitarianism, the responsibility to protect. where is lloyd axworthy when you need him?
like i have said before, i think i belong in emergencies and humanitarian relief and not development.
i think that kofi must have the wrong number for me because i was expecting a call to extend his best birthday wishes, but i still have not heard from him. i will have to follow up with him to make sure that this does not happen again next year.
i had a lovely birthday dinner with some ladies last night and that makes my social calendar full for 2 consecutive nights of dinners with friends, so the isolation is waning although last night i was fully prepare and totally content with climbing into bed. and there has been an invitation to 2 parties tonight so i might need to take my bright red nail polish out for another spin.
if all goes well with my weekend planning, i will be able to go to one of the informal camps of internally displaced persons where my organisation is providing aid. of course, i will only go if it is safe and if there are other people that i know there. but maybe i can be of use and lend an extra pair of hands. adorned with red nail polish.
yesterday i spent the morning at a workshop to talk about how bad things could possibly get and whether or not the humanitarian organisations are prepared for that. although it was not a rosy conversation, i learned a lot and feel better knowing that people are talking about these things and are doing what they can to prepare. and it is interesting because this is precisely what i studied at grad school. negotiated humanitarian access, neutrality, development vs humanitarianism, the responsibility to protect. where is lloyd axworthy when you need him?
like i have said before, i think i belong in emergencies and humanitarian relief and not development.
i think that kofi must have the wrong number for me because i was expecting a call to extend his best birthday wishes, but i still have not heard from him. i will have to follow up with him to make sure that this does not happen again next year.
Monday, January 14, 2008
we’ve never been so close
(january 11, 2008)
perhaps that title is not fitting for kenya at the moment because with the collapse of the recent mediation efforts by John Kufuor, the president of Ghana and current chair of the African Union, the political stalemate is as strong as ever and the opposition parties are going to stage days of rallies starting next wednesday. which means, as far as i can tell, more violence, more police state actions, more displaced people, more gender based violence, more young idiots looting and rioting, less work, more economic losses, and more fear. there are plans to have my second favourite older man crush (second only to David Suzuki), Kofi Annan, come to try and get these two guys to agree to something. but what the US Assistant Secretary of State and Kufuor couldn’t do seems impossible for Annan to do. Raila is hellbent on having another election in 3 months’ time and it doesn’t seem like anything will be acceptable to him until he gets this. and until then, more rallies...
there have been reports of a single clinic in the western area seeing more than 100 cases of sexual violence, people taking advantage of the displaced and stealing what little they have, seemingly indiscriminate burning of houses, shops, and farmland, some children separated from their families, the government scooping people up and relocating them without their tangent consent, and people stranded at random places like police stations, schools, and churches. the un will soon be releasing their appeal for emergency aid to carry out further activities to contend with the situation that doesn’t promise to let up. so if you have a couple mill sitting in your vault, i think that you could call ted turner and he could give you the un’s banking details to transfer the cash. seriously though, it is rather amazing to see how an emergency response is mobilised and it doesn’t stop agencies from fighting, big personalities to overtake meetings, and meetings to last far longer than necessary. but organisations are doing what they do best and it does seem that aid is getting to the people who need it. thank god for the red cross, msf, and faith based organisations that just go out there and do it while others sit around and talk about doing it. but they receive support from the un in a lot of ways so all that sitting around and talking is worth something. i just wish they could offer some better coffee while we sit around and talk.
it seems that my future is more certain than it has been in a long time, which is a rather positive feeling and is a change from my regular uncertainty and chronic sense of panic. we will see how long it lasts. i have some people in my court fighting for me to stick around even though my jury is still out on whether or not i would want to stick around, it is nice to know that you are wanted and i am beginning to think that people actually value the work that i do. which they should, because i am not going to lie, it is good.
there might a chance that i can go to the displacement camps, either with a colleague who is going there to volunteer or with my project that needs some serious redesigning in light of the current situation. i would love to get out of my office and get dirty after a week of intense and consecutive meetings. might put more of a face to this crisis for me too. although in chatting with my housekeeper this past week it sounds like there has been uncounted instances of thuggery and destructive behaviour in low income areas. apparently, the police can’t even do anything because they do not have enough authority in these areas and are unable to stop people because they do not have the manpower. we loaded our housekeeper up with food and clothes because it seems that the price of food has increased and many of the shops have been looted or burned in the slum areas of nairobi so food is more difficult than normal to come by.
and there you have some disjointed thoughts on the current situation and the past week of coordinating an emergency response. and i still have a gross cold. and i tried to eat my beloved chocolate fudge cake but couldn’t even finish it because i stopped being able to taste it half way through. and i will probably be working this sunday. and the reason i will be working on sunday is because i sat and talked with my coworkers today. and i think it was worth it. and my relationship with the bbc has been suffering and i must reignite the fire. and i think i like working in emergencies, even though you probably aren’t supposed to say that.
and i think we’ve never been so close.
perhaps that title is not fitting for kenya at the moment because with the collapse of the recent mediation efforts by John Kufuor, the president of Ghana and current chair of the African Union, the political stalemate is as strong as ever and the opposition parties are going to stage days of rallies starting next wednesday. which means, as far as i can tell, more violence, more police state actions, more displaced people, more gender based violence, more young idiots looting and rioting, less work, more economic losses, and more fear. there are plans to have my second favourite older man crush (second only to David Suzuki), Kofi Annan, come to try and get these two guys to agree to something. but what the US Assistant Secretary of State and Kufuor couldn’t do seems impossible for Annan to do. Raila is hellbent on having another election in 3 months’ time and it doesn’t seem like anything will be acceptable to him until he gets this. and until then, more rallies...
there have been reports of a single clinic in the western area seeing more than 100 cases of sexual violence, people taking advantage of the displaced and stealing what little they have, seemingly indiscriminate burning of houses, shops, and farmland, some children separated from their families, the government scooping people up and relocating them without their tangent consent, and people stranded at random places like police stations, schools, and churches. the un will soon be releasing their appeal for emergency aid to carry out further activities to contend with the situation that doesn’t promise to let up. so if you have a couple mill sitting in your vault, i think that you could call ted turner and he could give you the un’s banking details to transfer the cash. seriously though, it is rather amazing to see how an emergency response is mobilised and it doesn’t stop agencies from fighting, big personalities to overtake meetings, and meetings to last far longer than necessary. but organisations are doing what they do best and it does seem that aid is getting to the people who need it. thank god for the red cross, msf, and faith based organisations that just go out there and do it while others sit around and talk about doing it. but they receive support from the un in a lot of ways so all that sitting around and talking is worth something. i just wish they could offer some better coffee while we sit around and talk.
it seems that my future is more certain than it has been in a long time, which is a rather positive feeling and is a change from my regular uncertainty and chronic sense of panic. we will see how long it lasts. i have some people in my court fighting for me to stick around even though my jury is still out on whether or not i would want to stick around, it is nice to know that you are wanted and i am beginning to think that people actually value the work that i do. which they should, because i am not going to lie, it is good.
there might a chance that i can go to the displacement camps, either with a colleague who is going there to volunteer or with my project that needs some serious redesigning in light of the current situation. i would love to get out of my office and get dirty after a week of intense and consecutive meetings. might put more of a face to this crisis for me too. although in chatting with my housekeeper this past week it sounds like there has been uncounted instances of thuggery and destructive behaviour in low income areas. apparently, the police can’t even do anything because they do not have enough authority in these areas and are unable to stop people because they do not have the manpower. we loaded our housekeeper up with food and clothes because it seems that the price of food has increased and many of the shops have been looted or burned in the slum areas of nairobi so food is more difficult than normal to come by.
and there you have some disjointed thoughts on the current situation and the past week of coordinating an emergency response. and i still have a gross cold. and i tried to eat my beloved chocolate fudge cake but couldn’t even finish it because i stopped being able to taste it half way through. and i will probably be working this sunday. and the reason i will be working on sunday is because i sat and talked with my coworkers today. and i think it was worth it. and my relationship with the bbc has been suffering and i must reignite the fire. and i think i like working in emergencies, even though you probably aren’t supposed to say that.
and i think we’ve never been so close.
Friday, September 28, 2007
my parachute is yellow
today i have that feeling that things are going to be ok - that my job will lead to something, that i am gaining valuable experience, that i can build on what i know and where i am, and that i am in fact employable.
we will see how long this feeling lasts, but it is a nice change from the normal sense of panic and urgency that i normally operate under. it could have something to do with signing an 8 month contract or having my business cards printed with my new title, but whatever it is, i am enjoying the ride.
i finally feel like i am really learning how to run a project in this crazy world of international development and that i am narrowing my focus whilst moving past knowing only what i don't want to do. feels good.
this optimism might have something to do with the workshop i get to attend next week - sitting around a safari lodge talking about gender mainstreaming and organisational responsiveness sounds like a fine way to spend a week to me. thank YOU canadian tax payers!
we will see how long this feeling lasts, but it is a nice change from the normal sense of panic and urgency that i normally operate under. it could have something to do with signing an 8 month contract or having my business cards printed with my new title, but whatever it is, i am enjoying the ride.
i finally feel like i am really learning how to run a project in this crazy world of international development and that i am narrowing my focus whilst moving past knowing only what i don't want to do. feels good.
this optimism might have something to do with the workshop i get to attend next week - sitting around a safari lodge talking about gender mainstreaming and organisational responsiveness sounds like a fine way to spend a week to me. thank YOU canadian tax payers!
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