number crunching

i posted a comment over at flotsam, where on her fifth year blogging anniversary she ran some numbers.  a good idea i thought, so i am posting my comment here with a few more items that i have thought of since.

children conceived: 0
live babies acquired: 0
men married: 0
apartments lived in: 5
books written: 1 (if you count a thesis)
degrees acquired: 1
unfamiliar countries visited: 17
unfamiliar states visited: 0
couches owned: 5
pets felled by disease/neglect: 0
days admitted to hospital: 0
literary rejections received: 0 (but i have received a number of professsional rejections!)
pounds gained: -10
kidney stones passed: 0

and a few of my own:

humanitarian emergencies survived: 1
doctors dated: 3
soldiers dated: 1
teachers dated: 1
statisticians dated: 1
pilots dated: 2

hunters dated: 1
houses purchased: 1
heartbreaks suffered: 1
countries lived in: 4

tropical diseases contracted: 1
blogs maintained: 1

social networking profiles created: 3

social networking profiles maintained: 1
bottles of wine consumed: even if i remembered to count, i wouldn't have had the capacity to at the time

laptops owned: 3

cars named dieter driven: 1

grandparents lost: 2

jobs held: 3, 2 concurrently

tattoos inked: 2

bites of chicken consumed: 3 +/-

itunes songs collected: 4715

languages learned: 1/8

photographs taken: 1000s, maybe even 10,000s

friends met, books read, and tears shed: statistics unavailable until technology improves!

 

i would love to hear what you have to say about your last 5 years!

seeking book recommendations for qualitative research methodologies

it would make a lot of sense to post this on facebook, but for some reason i don't want my worlds colliding at the moment.

so, blogging interwebs, do you have any recommendations on good books that give a good overview on social science research methods, with particular reference to survey and semi-structured interview question design?

sunday evening

normally, i detest sunday evenings.  call it a case of the sundays, but lately the thought of having to face another week while hanging out at home alone watching pvr'ed tv has made me cringe.

but this evening, i am feeling quite content with my weekend after a rather lame week.  a solid 7km run followed by drinks with an old friend on friday night accompanied by encouragement to go to law school.  breakfast and great chats on saturday morning and then my posse and i hauled ourselves to the nashville north tent at the stampede where i lasted until the wee hours and only left when my feet were too sore for anymore dancing.  then a sunday morning hike with a lovely lady and an afternoon with tours of my mom's garden and a vietnamese sub (because i have no food in my house!).

my wobbly moment continues, however, and i had to give myself permission to opt out of a work stampede party last friday without any guilt or remorse because i just was not in the mood to make merry and pretend that i was happy to be at a bar.  there is not one thing i wish i could change and if there was, i would be working my arse off to change it.

i have yet to hear back about my most perfect job and part of me just wants to the universe to show me where i need to be and what i should be doing.

but in the meantime, i continue to prepare for my hiking adventure and that means soaking my poor cowboy boot feet tonight and finding time to get my buns back up those stairs, hopefully this time without stopping.  menu planning, airport pickups, and a little mountain equipment co-op shopping and i should be ready to go.  it is nice to have something to look forward to!

turning a corner on pop culture?

my newest guilty pleasure, and i am truly embarrassed to be admitting this, is watching the bachelorette.  some girlfriends were talking about it a few weeks ago and i decided to check it out during my wobbly moment.  and i sort of like it.  i don't like the melodrama and the heart-to-hearts onscreen, but i do like watching the different relationships develop (although, how are those men not strangling one another each time they return from a date??).

my pick is chris and although i didn't come close to winning my world cup pool, i will be shocked if i don't win this one (not that i am in a pool, but i would join one next time around as i am afraid i am slightly addicted to this ridiculous show).

this is all a little hilarious to me as i didn't have tv for years and was so out of the pop cultural loop for ages!

ready or not, juan, here i come!

i am not sure if i have committed myself to something that is far over my head, but in three short weeks, i will be hiking the juan de fuca trail on vancouver island.  i haven't done any overnight hiking in years and haven't been running or doing much of anything too active for weeks, so this might turn out to be the stupidest decision i have ever made or the challenge that i need right now.

it is less than 42km and we will be doing it over 4 days so that is less than 12km per day, which sounds rather doable.  until, of course, i consider i will be carrying everything i need on my back!

i have expressed my anxieties about this endeavour to my friend who i am going with and he has assured me that he will carry the heavy stuff and will be there to make sure that i get up all the hills and across all the puddles.  but still, i am scared.

but considering my recent wobbles and general attitude about my life lately, maybe this is what i need?

it didn't help that when i googled the hike (on my new, as yet unnamed, but beloved) laptop, i found the following quote:

"The Juan de Fuca trail is one of the most difficult trails I've ever hiked. There's tons of mud, puddles, rain, difficult-to-negotiate exposed roots, steep up and downs, blow-downs and cobbles." He also admits, "It's one of the most beautiful regions I've hiked through, but you earn it, that's for sure."

all i am going to say is that there may be tears.

she's so shiny and new

she is my new mac book pro.  and i love her.

but she needs a name.

i am not really sure how to use her effectively just yet, but i also got aperture, apple's photo editing software, and am hoping to do some fun things with my photos.

and for her price tag, she had better make me dinner and rub my feet!

29 + 4 update

ever since i decided to stop moping, things have really taken a turn for the better.

and in some random hope that the power of positive thinking actually might work, i just wanted to let the interwebs know that i have asked for something that i want as per goal #9.

i found a job i want.  i found a job that could potentially meld my education and international experience in development with my nearly two years' worth of private sector corporate social responsibility knowledge!  i found a job i want in new york city.

so i applied.

and if you are so compelled, join me in sending some positive energy in the direction of the un headquarters in nyc in hopes that they overlook my lack of the requisite 8 years of progressively responsible experience and interview me based on my ballsy cover letter and unique skill set!

she's purdy...

but not built to last, it seems.

this new format for my blog is nice and i have liked it so far, but since i changed it, my blog seems to be eating comments so if you don't see yours here, fear not!  i did receive it in my inbox and have no idea where it has gone, but i certainly did not delete it!

and thank you too, while i am at it.  my wah, wah, wah posts seem to bring out a lot of internetly support and that is swell.

29 + 4

1 - conquer my anxiety, or at least win a few battles against it.  remember last month and when i was thrilled with my ability to kick anxiety's ass?  wow, what a difference a month makes.  and as i just mentioned, i do not feel as though i am winning.  no specific anxieties, just a general sense of anxiousness pervading my days.  and i can't kick this idea that time is running out.  time to do what?  i am not sure.  but i do feel like i need to get on with something.  just not sure what that something is.

blah.  working on it, but blah.

2 - be more thoughtful of others, especially around special events, days, occasions.  i don't think i have done much of this this month as i have been a little preoccupied with keeping my life together.  one thing that i have done is take on some additional work as my supervisor is going through the death of a family member and i have been happy to do it.  but i still owe my bro $40 because i forgot to bring cash to put in his card and i sent my step-dad a birthday text a day late.  sheesh.  i need to get this one together!

3 - continue making visiting family and friends a priority.  i got out to vancouver island for a long weekend of family time and it was absolutely stunning.  my trip to south africa is still in the most initial stages of planning and there is a small, small hope that i migth get to visit friends in another city yet this summer.  fingers crossed!

4 - nail down some sort of short-term career goals.  let's just say that this one is on hold.  opportunities are coming up with my day job and i managed to get a raise at my part time job, but i am working on the other details.

5 - lay a nest egg to accompany my nest.  unlike previous months this year, this is going better than the rest.  i have been working a lot, which is good for my bank account, and i have not been spending too much (except for that little spree last thursday... oh, the sales got the better of me!).  it helps that tax season is over for me and i have a clue about how much i will have to pay in coming years and can save/spend appropriately.

6 - eat more balanced, regular meals.  just spent the weekend at my fam's cabin and that did wonders for my regular meat eating.  but still when i am at home alone i eat garlic dill pickles for dinner and that likely won't change any time soon!

actually, after the inspiration of regular meals of the cabin, i cooked shrimp for the first time ever tonight.  it was deceptively easy and i will certainly do that again.  because unless i continue to have vegetarian friends over for dinner (as i did a few weeks ago), i will have to expand my cooking repertoir past meat (and by extension, any shell fish) free dishes.

7 - sleep an appropriate amount.  the jetlag from asia took me quite some time to get over and that put a bit of a damper in my sleeping schedule, but since then!  i have managed to get it together and haven't even been napping much lately.  oh, except for after returning from a conference in banff for work where i certainly did not get enough sleep between 7am meetings and 2am bedtimes.

with stampede around the corner and a few parties already planned, i will surely need to plan for a few extra hours during the 10 days of partying in this town.

8 - maintain my priorities.  i am doing my best to stick with my priorities, but i am afraid that i have not been exercising as much as i should lately and a lot of my energies have been spent on work and on people who might not deserve them so a check is in order and i feel as though i have already started putting things back where they should be and remembering what is important.

9 - keep asking for what i want.  the first thing would be to figure out what it is that i want!  and lately it seems like a moving goal post...

been gone but not forgotten, i hope

(july 3, 2010)

i met someone once (and who it was, i cannot recall, which worries me ever so slightly) that instead of asking how you were doing would question, ‘are you winning?’

and lately, my answer would have been a bellowing ‘no.’ hence my silence on the www front. not that i didn’t have a whole lot to say, just not a lot of motivation to share it with the world.

i am not sure exactly what kicked off the wobbly moment, as my friend so eloquently called it, but it has lasted a good month now and i am one hundred times over this melancholy blue mood.

there are certainly a few things that exacerbated the situation and instead of listing them here, let me just say that there were a few text messages sent to friends recently that said I HATE DATING or I AM GETTING A CAT.

those of you who have been visiting my place on the interwebs for some now will know that i go through periods of not knowing what i want to do be when i grow up. and that, along with text messages in capital letters, seems to be weighing me down lately.

i realise that i don’t need to know exactly what i will BE when i grow up and anyone who meets me would know that i am already rather grown up, if i do say so myself. but i have always required some sense of direction to motivate me to strive to work towards it. and right now, i have a good job, but not one that i can imagine doing in years to come. i have a great nest, but not one that i necessary want to stay in forever. and i don’t feel as though i am living my life as fully as i could.

the logical answer would be to figure out what is ‘missing’ and find it. but that process seems to be tougher than my type a brain would like.

in a strange way, the warmer weather and increasing availability of stuff to do is overwhelming me and making me feel as though i am not taking advantage of my current situation enough. enough, enough, enough, i would like to take that word out of my vocabulary and replace with something that echoes contentment and satisfaction, but i am afraid i won’t be able to until i solve the mystery of what would be enough, enough, enough.

i remember feeling this way when i was coming to the end of the masters degree and in a twist of fate, i was offered a job that previously did not exist in kenya. i am trying to hand this one over to the universe too, but for the last 6 months or so i have felt as though something was just around the corner and now that i am metaphorically around that corner of time and nothing has emerged, i am feeling a little panicky and that sucks a big old egg.