feeling like kind of a big deal!

the cat's outta the bag.  i can finally tell people about this incredible honour that i received recently.  one of avenue magazine's top 40 under 40 in calgary.

and well, i am posting it here because sometimes i suppose it is ok when private and professional lives collide.  and i feel pretty fantastic about it, especially having met some of the other recipients who were wonderfully inspiring.

i had to have the online article revised with a word change because apparently i was one who felt the need to overcome 'diversity!'  i know i was nervous when they interviewed me, but i am pretty sure that it was adversity that i think is essential to overcome in order to grow!

my lovely sister was the one who nominated me and i found out back in july that i was going to be recognised and i had to keep quiet until last week when the magazine was released.  there was a lovely event to announce the 40 and it was pretty fantastic to spend it with my sister, brother in law, and one of my best friends.  and i wore this.  and you can't go wrong when you wear betsey.

and i am surprised to see who has come out of the facebook woodwork to express their congratulations and well wishes.  i am not complaining in the slightest, but it has been slightly overwhelming, but very reassuring that there are a lot of people behind me even if i don't talk to them regularly.  and of course there are those people i do talk to regularly.  and they are pretty damn awesome.  including my youngest brother who told me that i sounded intelligent.  and well, there are very few reassurances stronger than that.

so, there you have it.  part of the reason for my silence lately.

knowing a thing or two

hello.  and welcome.  to the hundreds of people who have passed by my corner of the internet these past couple days.  i suppose i should have had this message up before, well, now.  but instead all those newcomers to my blog, thanks to a rather kind link from flotsam, see me whining about my life and being in a funk...

but (but!) here i am, trying not to be wah-wah-wahing for once in a bit of a while.

what a day i had.  it started off with a message that my slow cooker had arrived and was ready for pick up. and a day that starts off like that is bound to be a good one.  what is better is that my slow cooker was free (remember that laptop i bought?  i put it on my credit card and earned enough points to order a slow cooker!) and that it matches the rest of my kitchen appliances, which pleases my obsessive sensibilities.

i began my workday at noon (because i can!) and headed to a townhall meeting with some of the executive of our company and was thrilled that some of my work was not only mentioned in the quarterly update, but praised as good company practice.

but that is not all.  i was mildly dreading heading to yet another meeting with an organisation that i volunteer with after my shortened workday, but was again pleasantly surprised to find that i was regarded as an expert and advisor to a locally based international foundation.  this was all well and good, however, until i had a one-on-one conversation about an upcoming initiative that i not-so-affectionately called voluntourism-lite.

the same qualities of voluntourism are apparent: the focus put on the travellers' experience, no lasting impact or clear outputs of the visit, short term stays in communities, and time and energy put out by the host organisation that is likely motivated by a desire to show that they really are a great organisation doing really good work (a sort of self preservation and marketing to the foreign visitors).

i got in quite a heated discussion about this and i just kept coming back to the question of why?  why is this happening?  to try and head off those who would otherwise seek out a true voluntourism experience and offer them something a little less corrupt and possibly more meaningful?  but that is not what a foundation should be doing.  a bad idea remains a bad idea.

and why is it so hard for people to accept my opinion that if you want to go to africa, go on a wicked vacation full of beaches, safaris, museums, and sights?  there is no requirement that you visit a slum, an orphanage, or a hospital to make it worthwhile.  we don't expect tourists to canada to visit our poorest communities or our underdeveloped first nations reserves so why do we expect canadians to do similar things on their holidays abroad?  and doesn't this continue to perpetuate the same stereotypes that africa is nothing but a continent full of dirty, black kids with flies around their eyes?  and (and!) offering such a programme doesn't acknowledge that many middle and upper class residents of africans don't feel compelled to visit those communities in their backyard, so why would canadians?  and, more than anything, what right do they have to go sniffing around in someone else's backyard?  and again, for what purpose?

eesh.  the whole conversation just made me want to bang my head against a wall.  but (but!), it did make me feel good in the sense that i actually know a thing or two about this and i felt strong enough in my opinions to express them and stand by them.  and that i can make some things better, just by being a part of them even if they frustrate me at times.

and that, along with today's positive feedback, has made me feel as though the wobbly moment might almost (dare i say it?!) be coming to a close.

29 + 4 update

ever since i decided to stop moping, things have really taken a turn for the better.

and in some random hope that the power of positive thinking actually might work, i just wanted to let the interwebs know that i have asked for something that i want as per goal #9.

i found a job i want.  i found a job that could potentially meld my education and international experience in development with my nearly two years' worth of private sector corporate social responsibility knowledge!  i found a job i want in new york city.

so i applied.

and if you are so compelled, join me in sending some positive energy in the direction of the un headquarters in nyc in hopes that they overlook my lack of the requisite 8 years of progressively responsible experience and interview me based on my ballsy cover letter and unique skill set!

all in a day's work

my day started out well, after picking up my newest addiction, a freshly brewed black coffee from my neighbourhood phil & sebastian coffee shop, i shocked a grizzled old police officer with my stories of drinking water in an idp camp in kenya, when i was convinced i was going to contract cholera.  at the same morning meeting, i was surprised to find out that the body shop in alberta has agreed to collect money for our organisation, which is fantastic, but even better, they brought me free stuff!  free stuff that is not even in the shops yet!  they clearly know the way to my heart.

my day proceeded at a nice clip, a productive afternoon at my day job and a hour long pep talk from my boss about doing a phd, finding ways to maintain my lifestyle (read: keep working where i am working part time to keep the money coming in), and how to make my own wikipedia page (she wants to get someone from her family on the case, which cracks me up).

after work, i got my hairs cut and coloured and now i look like a supermodel!  or at least my hair does.  according to my hair stylist.  i quite like it too.

and then i bought a red leather chair.  it might be a fake red leather chair.  but it is a great red chair that looks like leather and that is good enough for me!

i then attended a catholic women's group's meeting where i had to provide them with some information about trafficking and accept a donation to our organisation.  i sat and chatted with a nun who told me, in all her canadian wisdom, that 'people in fishing villages are like white indians.'  lord help her.  literally.

and the icing on the cake was when i found out that a guy i dated almost a year ago has moved a little closer to me.  as in, he now lives in my building!  we now share a parkade.  and i can never leave my nest to throw out my trash or drop off my recycling without worrying that i will run into him!  honestly, i have never heard of these things happening to other people.  sheesh.

(and)

(april 15, 2008)

i am trying something new, it is called Thinking Positively. i understand your shock and horror at the revoluntionariness of this idea, i approached it in quite the same way. (trepidation and anxiety? oh yeah)

i just finished a job application for a job that i really want, partly because it is what i want to do (or what i think i want to do) and the other part because if i could get a position like this, it would open up doors for all time (or at least that is how i see it from the outside). and partly (because who are we kidding, this stuff is important), it would allow me to afford a car (with red plates).*

besides, who can argue with protecting the refugees? and i do love me a refugee.**

the newfound positive part comes from being quite confident in my application and deciding to send this one out to the universe with some positive energy. and that i no longer have to stress that i am a University Graduate (and grad school at that) in my cover letter and by the sounds of my application i am actually able to Do Something. not that matters much in this field; there are a lot of people who i have been as yet unable to ascertain What They Do.

and, i nearly forgot, you will soon be able to google my name and come up with more than that photo that makes me look like i am pregnant (seriously, try it – and if you think that is bad, you should see the FULL PAGE version that appeared in the magazine) as my name will appear in published research. yay. unless you are a stalker and then, not yay.

could this newfound positive energy come from the impending trip to south africa, you might find yourself asking. and yes. it does.***

*yowsa, that is a lot of (), lo siento pero es muy facil a leer, no?

**wow, that is wildly inappropriate and makes me reconsider my public sense of humour. yet, i leave it.

***remember when your grade 7 teacher told you not to start sentences with And? well, she was wrong.