questions i have asked myself recently

• will anyone know that it was me that set the fire alarm off at 11:15pm by cooking beef bourguinon?  followed a few days later with: who the hell is cooking at 2am and set the damn fire alarm off when i was sleeping?!
• what does a life coach do and do i need one?
• how do you pay a speeding ticket that you seem to have lost?
• who would ever buy this or this?
• what do i want to be when i grow up?
• what will i feed my dad for 5 days when he stays with me?
• will i be selected to attend a gbv training in new york city?  and, please pick me (which is not really a question, but i am just putting it out there).
• will i be able to get a taxi after tonight's christmas party?
• should i put a pair of flats in my purse in case my feet start to hurt?
• if i bring a pair of flats but still manage to fall on someone's boss' table, can i really blame my sore feet and high heels for it if i am wearing flats?
• why don't i know many eligible bachelors in this city to set my amazing female friends up with?
• how will i decorate my office/spare bedroom now that i have a sofa bed?
• is Last Christmas by Wham! the best christmas song ever?  (the answer is yes).
• should i keep my bangs down or swept to the side?  should i stop cutting them myself?
• how do i stop people from wanting to start their own ngos to combat human trafficking in cambodia?  (i am taking suggestions on this one).
• why do i have a blog and why haven't i been writing much lately?

'tis the season of red cups, party dresses, baking days, and the peanuts christmas special

so what's going on with me lately?

i seem to have my life under control.  i was seriously debating hosting a christmas (or non-denominational seasonally festive, if you prefer) party, but have decided against it because i am just now feeling as though i am on top of my life for the first time in a few months.  it feels good.

instead, i think i will host myself a birthday party.  because i am turning 30 in february and they tell me that this is one of those milestone birthdays and i haven't had one of those in awhile.

work (x2) is going surprisingly well.  i thought i would be drowning in tasks and to do lists, but i am keeping my head above water, if only just.  the energy and recognition i have received since the avenue top 40 under 40 was released has kept me motivated and moving forward and i am hoping i can ride that momentum out as much as possible.

my volunteers are no longer zapping me of all my spirit and i am finding the language to flip their assumptions and misconceptions on their heads without being offensive.  i am asked to host, present, and attend various events and i am now picking and choosing which ones i attend rather than just saying yes.

for instance, i get to have lunch with calgary's new mayor tomorrow!  well, me and a bunch of other people, but i am still looking forward to it.  but i haven't figured out what i will wear.  and this seems like a rather important decision to make.

overall, my attitude is positive, my outlook is optimistic, and i am looking forward to some exciting things to celebrate the holiday season: the annual girls' christmas baking day, family traditions, an invitation to a christmas party where i can wear betsey again, and hopefully some downtime at the cabin.

amongst all this good stuff, i am trying not to feel as though i am not doing enough (whatever enough is), not to stress about what my next steps are, or about the seeming lack of any available, interesting, and intriguing men in my path!  but that is a post and line of thinking for another post and another day.

sunday evening

normally, i detest sunday evenings.  call it a case of the sundays, but lately the thought of having to face another week while hanging out at home alone watching pvr'ed tv has made me cringe.

but this evening, i am feeling quite content with my weekend after a rather lame week.  a solid 7km run followed by drinks with an old friend on friday night accompanied by encouragement to go to law school.  breakfast and great chats on saturday morning and then my posse and i hauled ourselves to the nashville north tent at the stampede where i lasted until the wee hours and only left when my feet were too sore for anymore dancing.  then a sunday morning hike with a lovely lady and an afternoon with tours of my mom's garden and a vietnamese sub (because i have no food in my house!).

my wobbly moment continues, however, and i had to give myself permission to opt out of a work stampede party last friday without any guilt or remorse because i just was not in the mood to make merry and pretend that i was happy to be at a bar.  there is not one thing i wish i could change and if there was, i would be working my arse off to change it.

i have yet to hear back about my most perfect job and part of me just wants to the universe to show me where i need to be and what i should be doing.

but in the meantime, i continue to prepare for my hiking adventure and that means soaking my poor cowboy boot feet tonight and finding time to get my buns back up those stairs, hopefully this time without stopping.  menu planning, airport pickups, and a little mountain equipment co-op shopping and i should be ready to go.  it is nice to have something to look forward to!

tired

the past two weekends have been great, the first i had my girlfriends over for wine and cheese and i was furiously running around getting all my pictures hung, bringing a rather large bench up two flights of stairs, tidying, and preparing my nest to welcome its first official guests.

then this past weekend i threw a housewarming party and i think it went really well.  again, i tidied, made my bed, hid my messes in closets, dusted, arranged my 'stuff,' and got the nest ready to welcome about 40 people on saturday night.  things are still not entirely back to normal around here, but i finally got through the dishes last night.  and man, do i miss my housekeeper in kenya!  (we used to have her come over the day of a party to do all the tidying and then the next day to deal with the aftermath when we were still sleeping it off).

in addition to attempting to be a good host, i have also been overwhelmed with work lately.  i was down in brooks, medicine hat, and lethbridge to facilitate workshops and although i love doing that type of work, the driving was rather tiresome (even though i listened to my first audiobook, Say You're One of Them by Uwem Akpan, which made me smile with memories of life in nairobi and although that story might not make others smile the same way, i still recommend the book as its short stories do a decent job to describe life in african cities without all the usual pity and condescension). 

i am not leaving calgary anytime soon and am ecstatic about relaxing, enjoying all the nesting i have been doing, and just resting.  once i catch up on sleep and feel a bit stronger, i need to get outside and back running because nobody likes an indicator pant!

what a week

sunday
ramen noodles and new almodovar movie screened at the calgary film festival

monday
first day of a week of early mornings for the united way campaign
coffee with the mounties

tuesday
meetings upon meetings
dinner with my ma and bro
mild concern about the security of my job

wednesday
chaos at our volunteer worksite
an afternoon with the dalai lama and his wicked glasses

thursday
concern about my job security alleviated
child trafficking bill makes it through 3rd debate and heads to the senate
first photography class. pixels! sensors! green idiot box!
grey's anatomy (medium, at best)

friday
painting on 3 storey scaffolding for 8 hours
very tired arm
framing of some of my photos
a much needed glass of vino to celebrate a successful 2 week painting project

saturday
invitations to my housewarming party sent out
the return of saturday projects
pickled beets and homemade salsa!
celebratory red wine and beer and a hockey game
lots of laughter

sunday
laundry and tidying
a trip to the farmer's market (blackberries, fresh herbs, and wax beans, oh my!)
napolitan pizza
one tired, tired lady

party aftermath

those photos i was talking about somewhere down there...

eat this martha

10 bottles of red wine
4 bottles of white wine
8 bottles of vodka
3 bottles of gin
1 bottle of whiskey
1 bottle of rum
120+ cans / bottles beer

vat homemade hummous
tub homemade salsa
bowl homemade guacamole
50 homemade samosas
3 trays freshly baked cookies
1 cheese tray
plenty o crackers & crisps
fresh baguettes
2 very cute bowls of olives
100 plastic glasses and then some

4 hosts
>100 guests
20+ nationalities
a few people told to go smoke outside
2 sketchy characters
1 time i was told i am the glamorous flatmate (?!)

1 dancefloor
1 mug broken
2 new safari chairs
3 new floor cushions
2 packages of candles
1 kerosine lamp purchased at 7:30pm
4 vases of fresh flowers
1 bowl full of 8 grapefruit
2 soapstone bowls
many outdoor plants brought inside
1 threatening phone call from the neighbours
1 argument with askaris
over 50 photos of the evening
3 new phone numbers in my phone the next morning

1 eviction warning

our party was the perfect representation of nairobi life - there was no electricity (and therefore no hummous or cookies or coffee to ward off friday night's hangover and fatique) from about 3:00pm until 7:50pm (our invitations said the party would start at 8:00pm) so 3 girls had to take timed showers so we didn't use up our hot water and then apply make up in the dark while we watching our hair air dry into poofiness. we made a pact that if the lights came on during the party, we would all remind each other to run to the bathroom and check our make-up. luckily, we didn't need to do that and the lights worked perfectly the entire night. which is good because otherwise people wouldn't have appreciated our decorating talents and our food preparation. but tell me if you have ever been to a party where there were cookies that came straight out of the oven?! it all worked out thankfully.

the next day, however, we had to run away from the mess and the lack of water in our compound and go for breakfast. there was no water all day and we were very dirty and so was our flat. but i have a wonderful flatmate who did the majority of the cleaning (and sorting) before we got back from breakie and then we had our housekeeper come in on monday and she had everything looking shiny and new by monday evening (even that wall that i thought we might have to repaint).

a number of people have told us since that that was one of the best parties they had been to in nairobi and we've already had requests to host another. although we also had to promise our landlord we wouldn't do it again. at one point our living room was as crowded as a bar and i recall wondering who were all these people. but nairobi is a small community when it comes to the international community and we did a good job of mixing it up.

greener pastures

today i am feeling as though the grass is greener elsewhere and i hate that feeling. i am wondering if it is because i am settled and comfortable in my flat, my job, my life. or if it is because i am still upset that the coup in guinea continues with no end in sight.

the party this weekend should be great fun but it is becoming stressful to get people organised to get everything done that i want to get done. because if you are going to throw a party, you should really pay attention to all the details, in my opinion.

i stayed up way too late last night as well and although i had fun trading hundreds of songs with my flatmates (yay ray lamontagne, indigo girls, and the be good tanyas), the lack of sleep is doing nothing for feeling like i want to run away today. to where, i have no idea. but running feels like the best thing to do.

i am expecting a package to arrive today and that better keep me going. oh yeah, and that trip to zanzibar that i am this close to confirming will be a good distraction.

the happiest hour

i had my first after-work-happy-hour-special drinks yesterday and the 3 (or 4?) cosmopolitans were enough for me to be feeling pretty happy and sober again by 9:00pm. and the best part of it was that i was in bed by 11:00pm then up feeling fresh and chipper at 7:00am. all of sudden this whole happy hour thing makes so much sense! where have i been all these years between 4:00pm and 7:00pm on a monday night?

when i got home last night i was warmly welcomed with a new oven (previous to this glorious moment, i had been sans oven) which has left me dreaming of apple crisp, chocolate chip cookies, and raisin bran muffins all day at work. that dream was interrupted long enough for my boss to bring me a mars bar which i gobbled up as i rethought about giving up chocolate for lent, still without any decisions.

can i put a request out to the universe to post me some mini eggs?! but not the british kind (suz, wait til you try them, not nearly as good as the ones from the great white north). i know beggars can't be chosers, but really, they just do not compare.

interested in an update on the birthday celebrations? well here you go: i give the evening a 7.5 out of 10. too many sugary shots, great showing of different groups of people, free drinks and free rides, appearances from my full social calendar (but only a text message from the coup), and some friendly reprimands for sending messages after i'd had some red wine (but don't worry, none to 25, that jerk).

i hope to improve on my rating this weekend, however, when my flatmates and i host a cocktail party (or just a party, i still don't know the difference) as a late-birthday/going-away/it's-february-and-i-am-not-wearing-mittens-or-a-toque party. the invite list is sitting at 50 but sure to grow. i've got to represent over here in africa as my parents have become known to throw the best parties in the neighbourhood and that is a reputation that needs living up to if i have ever heard one. although it might difficult without hockey parents, tequila grandma, and the velvet painting.

a day well spent

yesterday my sister and i ran a rather tough 8km, well it was really the 7th km that nearly killed me. i really need to get out running more often to get back to where i once was. but a nice finish is going to help me get back out there again soon.

then we went to the calgary herald used book sale where we picked up a few books and my mouth watered at the sight of an old copy of The Old Man and the Sea and a signed first edition of The Handmaid's Tale.

then we were accosted by an eastern european man at the farmer's market who pointed out that i have somedry skin around my nose and his invention of some skin lotion could help that. thankfully, i avoided putting his poison on my face.

then we bought some avocados and limes at the market and pretended like we were in mexico. but there were far fewer animal parts and tortillas than we had hoped.

then we went to inglewood and had lunch at Eat! Eat! and i must recommend it. wonderful service and sandwiches, which is sometimes hard to come by.

then a good friend who moonlights as an englishman named nigel joined us and we laughed and we laughed and then we laughed some more. i love those times.

then we went to crave and found out they were all out of cupcakes. well, out of everything. one of those businesses that makes you wish you'd started it.

then we bought two cakes at another bakery for my sister's graduation party last night. and sampled the brownies, i love a bakery that has samples AND free coffee. charlie's on kensington, i suggest you stop by.

then we went home and got ready for aforementioned party.

then our guests arrived and we had a party!

random thoughts on a rainy saturday

i bought ANOTHER hand bag yesterday. it is a bit silly and ridiculous (i mean white suede is never a good idea), but i love it.

a trip to costco reminded me that not only are the parking spot enormous but so are all the products. i think living in europe has made me more sensitive to space and size. and there is no need for most of it. i sort of like the idea that you need to shop more often in the uk, keeps you social and keeps things fresh and not so processed.

this morning i went for a 8km run and i am dreaming about the 16km that j and s did. i love it when people smile and say good morning as you run by. i don't love it when i am afraid that a small terrier is going to bite my ankles as i run by.

i made low fat blueberry bran muffins last night and i think i might give up on the low fat versions of muffins. too dry. and then you end up adding butter anyways, taking away the low-fatness of the whole concept.

spring fever p.a.r.t.y tonight!

feeling the collective

i don't feel as though i know many things right now, but here are some that i do know:

• 25 is hard
• drinking beer and eating crackers with friends on a tuesday night is sometimes what you need
• buying a condo and getting engaged are not in my immediate future
• it is some sort of release to sing as loud as your lungs will let you whilst driving to Not Ready to Make Nice by the Dixie Chicks
• i think cosmetics are killing women slowly
• i am getting my make-up done at MAC for a spring fever party this weekend
• finding the balance will always be a challenge
• 25 is all about balance