11 randoms

i just realized that i was tagged by kristen at inspired by dooce and it is perfect timing as i am sitting in a hotel lobby in accra waiting for a driver to collect me to transfer to another hotel (because as much as i love Villa Monticello where i have spent the last two nights, it is a bit pricey for me to stay for the next 3 nights i have in ghana and this was a birthday gift, a most wonderful birthday gift!)


i am not going to tag other people because as a Bad Blogger, it would be a bit rude of me to expect others to complete this, but i love lists, i love reading random things about other people, and i like answering them.  so if you do answer any of kristen's (or nicole's, who i don't even know) questions, leave a link as i'd love to read them!


11 Random Things about Me
 1. i have really big feet for being only 5'2"
2. my sneezes are loud.  so loud that people often comment on them.
3. i love taking long haul flights alone, i find it is a great time to think, catch up on reading, listen to music, be alone.  i hope they never introduce wireless to the flights i take as i think it would ruin it for me as i like being disconnected.
4. i live with a general level of anxiety that would probably surprise most people.
5. i am not very good at watching tv, i have to be doing something else at the same time, reading a magazine, looking at the internet, or talking (which apparently annoys some people!).
6. i love running outdoors, but sometimes struggle to motivate myself to do it.  but i don't like running races as there are too many people and too much pressure for me (which could be linked to #4 above).
7. i live in monrovia, the capital city of liberia.  i suppose that isn't too random to most people that i know as i have been here for 4 months now, but i suppose it could be considered random because what is a canadian girl doing living in a small west african country??  i moved here to live with my boyfriend is the answer. 
8. i don't know what i want to be when i grow up and i wonder if i will ever know.  instead of trying to figure it out, i think i will try and focus on accepting it and seeing it as a positive rather than a negative.
9. i would like to do a phd one day.  and recently, i may have come up with an idea for a research topic.
10. i went on a solo vacation to spain about 7 months ago to figure out my life.  apparently that meant starting a relationship with someone i already knew who came from the uk for a mini break and moving to liberia a few months later.
11. i have spent 4 birthdays and 3 christmases in africa. 


Nicole's Questions
1. How many languages do you speak? What are they?
english and spanish and that could likely use some refreshing.  i wish i spoke french and have tried to learn it, but never consistently and regularly.

2. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
the side that is closest to the wall currently, but if i had it my way, i would sleep diagonally and take up the entire bed with 4 pillows arranged in a 'v' around my head.  yes, i have given this some thought and have developed a system that i prefer.

3. Are you a morning person or a night owl?
i would like to think a bit of both.  i like to get a start on my day, but i also love sleeping until about 9 if i can.  i tend to be rather productive in the evenings if i am not too tired from waking up too early.  what i do know is that i need my sleep so if i am up early, i am down early and vice versa.

4. What's your biggest time waster?
the internet and tv when i have it


5. Mac or PC?
mac. i converted about a year and a half ago and love it (and my ipad and iphone!)


6. Can you drive a standard transmission car?
you bet and i have never owned a car that wasn't manual, i prefer it.


7. Where did you go on your last trip?
i am on right now in accra, ghana.  and before this one, it was to dar es salaam, tanzania.


8. What's your favourite game (board or video)?
i like all board games that i have played (but i have 2 rules when playing: if you are not playing the game (mom!) then don't help anyone playing and if you start a game, you should finish it!), but i really like scrabble and anything that involves groups of people and lots of laughs.


9. Did you play any sports growing up?
when i was wee, i played soccer then i figure skated.


10. What's your favourite number and why?
22 and i am not sure why.  i like things that are even and i like that 22 divided is 11 and 1 + 1 = 2 and so on.


11. If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
i would like to live in london, bangkok, cape town, berlin, dar es salaam, nairobi...  i think the more interesting part is where i will end up living in a year's time.



Kristen's Questions
1- When you're in a job interview, what do you use as your "weakness"? (you know, the weakness that you can turn into a positive somehow)
i don't like to delegate things to other people and i like to have control over all aspects of the work that i am involved in.  to be honest, i am not sure i would ever phrase it like that in a job interview, but if i did, i would say that it is because i have high expectations that my work will be delivered to a high standard of quality and on time.

2- What is your favourite food?
i am not sure.  i love macaroni and canned tomatoes because it is a comfort food from when i was kid, same with a roast beef dinner.  i would like to say that i have a favourite food place and that is san sebastian, spain. so if something can come with the quality and deliciousness of san sebastian, i will love it.

3- Why did you start blogging?
i was living in the uk studying my masters degree and it was a good way to keep in touch with friends and family back home without sending out the mass emails that were all about me, which is obnoxious.  i guess a blog is somewhere people can visit to see what i am up to.

4- If you could go anywhere on vacation, where would you go?
i've always wanted to visit brazil, argentina, and india.

5- If you're a runner, biker, triathlete, or any other sort of racer, what race is tops on your bucket list?
i don't like races.

6- What is your dream job? (pretending that it pays well)
ha, i answered the question above about how i don't know what i want to be when i grow up.  but i would like to be a professor or an advisor to a private company or a donor on how to spend their money and which projects are worth supporting.

7- Who is your celebrity crush?
apart from David Suzuki in his younger years?!  i think that Mike Rowe, Gabriel Garcia Bernal, Hugh Jackman, and Taye Diggs are all quite dreamy.

8- Did you or do you play an instrument?
no, but i think the drums could be fun.

9- What is your favourite "guilty pleasure" movie? (you know, the one that you like to pretend you didn't love)
Love Actually and i watch it every christmas!  i just can't get enough.

10- If you had to pick a last meal, what would you pick?
macaroni and tomatoes

11- Ben and Jerry's or Haagen Dazs?
neither as ice cream gives me a stomach ache (coincidentally, this is also the google search that leads to this blog most often so i am obviously not alone)

questions i have asked myself recently

• will anyone know that it was me that set the fire alarm off at 11:15pm by cooking beef bourguinon?  followed a few days later with: who the hell is cooking at 2am and set the damn fire alarm off when i was sleeping?!
• what does a life coach do and do i need one?
• how do you pay a speeding ticket that you seem to have lost?
• who would ever buy this or this?
• what do i want to be when i grow up?
• what will i feed my dad for 5 days when he stays with me?
• will i be selected to attend a gbv training in new york city?  and, please pick me (which is not really a question, but i am just putting it out there).
• will i be able to get a taxi after tonight's christmas party?
• should i put a pair of flats in my purse in case my feet start to hurt?
• if i bring a pair of flats but still manage to fall on someone's boss' table, can i really blame my sore feet and high heels for it if i am wearing flats?
• why don't i know many eligible bachelors in this city to set my amazing female friends up with?
• how will i decorate my office/spare bedroom now that i have a sofa bed?
• is Last Christmas by Wham! the best christmas song ever?  (the answer is yes).
• should i keep my bangs down or swept to the side?  should i stop cutting them myself?
• how do i stop people from wanting to start their own ngos to combat human trafficking in cambodia?  (i am taking suggestions on this one).
• why do i have a blog and why haven't i been writing much lately?

'tis the season of red cups, party dresses, baking days, and the peanuts christmas special

so what's going on with me lately?

i seem to have my life under control.  i was seriously debating hosting a christmas (or non-denominational seasonally festive, if you prefer) party, but have decided against it because i am just now feeling as though i am on top of my life for the first time in a few months.  it feels good.

instead, i think i will host myself a birthday party.  because i am turning 30 in february and they tell me that this is one of those milestone birthdays and i haven't had one of those in awhile.

work (x2) is going surprisingly well.  i thought i would be drowning in tasks and to do lists, but i am keeping my head above water, if only just.  the energy and recognition i have received since the avenue top 40 under 40 was released has kept me motivated and moving forward and i am hoping i can ride that momentum out as much as possible.

my volunteers are no longer zapping me of all my spirit and i am finding the language to flip their assumptions and misconceptions on their heads without being offensive.  i am asked to host, present, and attend various events and i am now picking and choosing which ones i attend rather than just saying yes.

for instance, i get to have lunch with calgary's new mayor tomorrow!  well, me and a bunch of other people, but i am still looking forward to it.  but i haven't figured out what i will wear.  and this seems like a rather important decision to make.

overall, my attitude is positive, my outlook is optimistic, and i am looking forward to some exciting things to celebrate the holiday season: the annual girls' christmas baking day, family traditions, an invitation to a christmas party where i can wear betsey again, and hopefully some downtime at the cabin.

amongst all this good stuff, i am trying not to feel as though i am not doing enough (whatever enough is), not to stress about what my next steps are, or about the seeming lack of any available, interesting, and intriguing men in my path!  but that is a post and line of thinking for another post and another day.

i'll have more of the same

finally, it seems that 2010 has cleaned up its act and has decided to stop being such a jerk.

as mondays go, this one was pretty stellar.  and why?

• not waking up to an alarm
• still smiling from the high of getting together with my new book club full of wonderful, dynamic women
• a new outfit of a skirt on the sale at the gap and a shirt that fits perfectly from my sister paired with a bold necklace with a giant flower and my favourite italian boots purchased in ireland
• checking off and throwing away my To Do list at work
• an hour long presentation to the most notorious of the law enforcement agencies in canada (you just try breaking into our borders!) met with positive feedback
• won ton soup
• proofing the text for an ad that i will appear in
• setting up a meeting with someone who wants to learn more about my 'consulting services'
• an invitation for a south african wine drinking and luggage packing date
• a raise.  a totally unsolicited raise!  a potentially retroactive raise!!
• a meeting with my volunteers who continue to inspire me, challenge me, and humour me
• purchase of a wall hanging off etsy to bring a little feng shui into my nest
• a new episode of weeds
• a glass of dry red wine

long may it last.

number crunching

i posted a comment over at flotsam, where on her fifth year blogging anniversary she ran some numbers.  a good idea i thought, so i am posting my comment here with a few more items that i have thought of since.

children conceived: 0
live babies acquired: 0
men married: 0
apartments lived in: 5
books written: 1 (if you count a thesis)
degrees acquired: 1
unfamiliar countries visited: 17
unfamiliar states visited: 0
couches owned: 5
pets felled by disease/neglect: 0
days admitted to hospital: 0
literary rejections received: 0 (but i have received a number of professsional rejections!)
pounds gained: -10
kidney stones passed: 0

and a few of my own:

humanitarian emergencies survived: 1
doctors dated: 3
soldiers dated: 1
teachers dated: 1
statisticians dated: 1
pilots dated: 2

hunters dated: 1
houses purchased: 1
heartbreaks suffered: 1
countries lived in: 4

tropical diseases contracted: 1
blogs maintained: 1

social networking profiles created: 3

social networking profiles maintained: 1
bottles of wine consumed: even if i remembered to count, i wouldn't have had the capacity to at the time

laptops owned: 3

cars named dieter driven: 1

grandparents lost: 2

jobs held: 3, 2 concurrently

tattoos inked: 2

bites of chicken consumed: 3 +/-

itunes songs collected: 4715

languages learned: 1/8

photographs taken: 1000s, maybe even 10,000s

friends met, books read, and tears shed: statistics unavailable until technology improves!

 

i would love to hear what you have to say about your last 5 years!

been gone but not forgotten, i hope

(july 3, 2010)

i met someone once (and who it was, i cannot recall, which worries me ever so slightly) that instead of asking how you were doing would question, ‘are you winning?’

and lately, my answer would have been a bellowing ‘no.’ hence my silence on the www front. not that i didn’t have a whole lot to say, just not a lot of motivation to share it with the world.

i am not sure exactly what kicked off the wobbly moment, as my friend so eloquently called it, but it has lasted a good month now and i am one hundred times over this melancholy blue mood.

there are certainly a few things that exacerbated the situation and instead of listing them here, let me just say that there were a few text messages sent to friends recently that said I HATE DATING or I AM GETTING A CAT.

those of you who have been visiting my place on the interwebs for some now will know that i go through periods of not knowing what i want to do be when i grow up. and that, along with text messages in capital letters, seems to be weighing me down lately.

i realise that i don’t need to know exactly what i will BE when i grow up and anyone who meets me would know that i am already rather grown up, if i do say so myself. but i have always required some sense of direction to motivate me to strive to work towards it. and right now, i have a good job, but not one that i can imagine doing in years to come. i have a great nest, but not one that i necessary want to stay in forever. and i don’t feel as though i am living my life as fully as i could.

the logical answer would be to figure out what is ‘missing’ and find it. but that process seems to be tougher than my type a brain would like.

in a strange way, the warmer weather and increasing availability of stuff to do is overwhelming me and making me feel as though i am not taking advantage of my current situation enough. enough, enough, enough, i would like to take that word out of my vocabulary and replace with something that echoes contentment and satisfaction, but i am afraid i won’t be able to until i solve the mystery of what would be enough, enough, enough.

i remember feeling this way when i was coming to the end of the masters degree and in a twist of fate, i was offered a job that previously did not exist in kenya. i am trying to hand this one over to the universe too, but for the last 6 months or so i have felt as though something was just around the corner and now that i am metaphorically around that corner of time and nothing has emerged, i am feeling a little panicky and that sucks a big old egg.

it started with a seed

over 4 years ago (and i remember this because it was just before the last world cup), i went to london with my bf at the time and my parents, who were visiting from canada.  we rented a sedan, took ourselves for a holiday of live theatre and sightseeing, and visited portobello market.  and in that lovely market, we bought some seedy bread.  and one of those seeds got stuck between my teeth.

like, really stuck.  stuck so badly that for a few days i had a constant dull ache on that side of my mouth.

eventually, with my mad skills in the flossing department, i got that seed out and there would always be a larger space between those two teeth than any of my others.

i adapted to this by carrying around my favourite kind of floss to make sure i thoroughly floss after eating anything that had a tendency to get stuck in there.  apples, beef, anything stringy.  gross, but i never got the 'floss more' lecture from the dentist because i became mildly obsessed.

and when my sis and bro-in-law and i were sitting down to a cold beer and a bite to eat in victoria last weekend before boarding our plane back to calgary, i noticed that i had a hole in my tooth.  a hole in my tooth!  i had my sister investigate it (yes, in the restaurant) and we agreed that it was most likely a cavity, which seemed inevitable.  i made sure to get in to the dentist the very next day and when they told me that my tooth was actually broken and that they suggested repairing it with a crown, i braced myself for the freezing, the drills, and the awfulness of the dentist in general and went for it.

but being frozen that evening really threw me for a loop and put me in a bit of a funk that lasted through the week.  the miserable weather and confusing text message dating certainly didn't help, but the invasion of having someone's hands in my mouth and not being able to feel half of my face for a number hours seems to have had quite a psychological impact.  and it wasn't nice.

i dug myself out of the funk that week and had a lovely weekend full of beers on patios, hikes in kananaskis, and a patio-hopping fundraising event full of food, wine, and good friends.

but that was not what was on my mind later in the evening after i was at the dentist, as i was on the phone with a call centre in india, half my face frozen, having an ugly cry because i didn't know the difference between a modem and a router.  but the nice, young fellow on the phone wasn't bothered and sorted my internets while i felt sorry for myself.  but i bet that if he were located in canada, working at midnight, and having to put up with a whiney mess like me, he would not have been nearly as patient!

dear john. the movie, not my life

let me give you the synopsis of the movie.

girl meets soldier.  soldier has a past.  girl falls in love with soldier.  soldier is on his way out of the army.  girl waits 12 months.  soldier is posted to somewhere in africa.  soldier is offered a professional opportunity of a military career.  soldier takes it and doesn't tell the girl.  eventually, as you can expect, they break up.

sound familiar?  it should.

i don't know what it means to be 'over' someone or something, but i do know that if i was given the same information and the options, i would likely make the same decision that i did.

and that could potentially get me in the same situation that i initially found myself in 18 months ago.  and it would  mean i would have to go through the same hell that i did to get to where i am now.

but i would still do it.  i haven't given up.  and if the least that came of it is simply one of the best stories you can ever tell your grandkids, well i certainly have that!

you might want to see the movie.  or maybe one day i will write my own.  you'll probably want to see that one too!

what a week!

monday - pretty average day, a decently productive smattering of work at my day job and a nice evening hanging out with a friend in town from overseas.  who is sort of in love with me.  but only just sort of.  i think.

tuesday - chair a monthly meeting on trafficking.  pick up a package at the post office of leg warmers and fingerless mitts from the lovely lady over at Yarn is My Metier, beautiful and so comfortable.  every girl needs a pair of leg warmers.  american idol watching with my neighbour/guy i dated a year ago.  a failed hill run - 8 hills turned into 4 miserable hills.

wednesday - teaching high school for the morning, which is almost as exhausting as teaching junior high school, but not quite.  the first screening of the film What Are We Doing Here? that went really well, including the panel discussion on aid to africa that i participated in.  i was proud to have addressed people's questions with intelligent answers.

thursday - drafting of a project proposal for funding to do my own research in the province.  the second screening of the documentary followed by another panel discussion, where i wasn't nearly as articulate as wednesday night's event.  beer and nachos with my ever supportive friends afterwards.

friday - a half day workshop on temporary foreign workers in alberta and the challenges and successes of the programme.  met the nephew of my nairobi chemist by chance in calgary.  handed out tonnes of my cards, networking, networking, networking.  running around the city getting wedding gifts and cards.  a gorgeous wedding with great people that ended with me and the best man shooting tequila at the bar.

saturday - a touch of the hang over.  catching up on adminstrative work for my evening/weekend job.  watching ufc fights, which i swore i would never do and will never do again - boring and disgusting at the same time.  an early night.

sunday - a good 12km run, but with frozen hands.  a hot bath.  some shopping.  sushi.  roast dinner with my parents and one bro (my other bro is in tanzania!).  traffic fines paid.

a simple request

all i am asking for this week is a few more hours in each day. 

not hours that can be used for sleeping, but hours that can be used for preparing presentations for high schools, visiting with friends in from out of town, time to fit in all of my runs (and all of those hills...). 

i would really appreciate some extra time to collect my package from the post office, to attend all of the meetings i have scheduled for my day job, to mentally prepare to be on the panel discussion following both screenings of What Are We Doing Here? this week. 

i need hours for thoughtful wedding gift shopping, for shoulder season hikes, and for attending a workshop on temporary foreign workers in alberta, and for paying those parking and red light ticket.

i also wouldn't mind some time to sort out if i am interested in dating my neighbour.  it should be so simple, but it never is.

all in a day's work

my day started out well, after picking up my newest addiction, a freshly brewed black coffee from my neighbourhood phil & sebastian coffee shop, i shocked a grizzled old police officer with my stories of drinking water in an idp camp in kenya, when i was convinced i was going to contract cholera.  at the same morning meeting, i was surprised to find out that the body shop in alberta has agreed to collect money for our organisation, which is fantastic, but even better, they brought me free stuff!  free stuff that is not even in the shops yet!  they clearly know the way to my heart.

my day proceeded at a nice clip, a productive afternoon at my day job and a hour long pep talk from my boss about doing a phd, finding ways to maintain my lifestyle (read: keep working where i am working part time to keep the money coming in), and how to make my own wikipedia page (she wants to get someone from her family on the case, which cracks me up).

after work, i got my hairs cut and coloured and now i look like a supermodel!  or at least my hair does.  according to my hair stylist.  i quite like it too.

and then i bought a red leather chair.  it might be a fake red leather chair.  but it is a great red chair that looks like leather and that is good enough for me!

i then attended a catholic women's group's meeting where i had to provide them with some information about trafficking and accept a donation to our organisation.  i sat and chatted with a nun who told me, in all her canadian wisdom, that 'people in fishing villages are like white indians.'  lord help her.  literally.

and the icing on the cake was when i found out that a guy i dated almost a year ago has moved a little closer to me.  as in, he now lives in my building!  we now share a parkade.  and i can never leave my nest to throw out my trash or drop off my recycling without worrying that i will run into him!  honestly, i have never heard of these things happening to other people.  sheesh.

sunday sense of accomplishment

i have had a full weekend and it was nice to have a weekend packed full of fun and rewarding things.  here is a list of all that i managed to accomplish:

• a date with a tall, accented gentleman
• ice fishing with my brother-in-law, where i proved not to be the best fisherwoman as i caught nothing (but neither did anyone else)
• my first double cheeseburger.  it was delicious.  totally worth all that saturated fat.  and, i'll admit it, maybe even better than a single cheeseburger.
• a lovely nap on my sister's couch
• an impromtu stir fry dinner for two
• a completed application to be called to work in emergencies, such as haiti
• an 8km run (even though i was only mentally prepared for a 7km run)
• shopping at mec for a new jacket (sale!), a new pair of mittens, a new pair of wool running socks, and a new running shirt (sale!).  not sure why i felt the need to clarify that all those items were NEW...
• a trip to buy new runners only to find the shop was closed
• coffee with my best friend of over 10 years
• coffee with a new friend who will undoubtedly be a friend for a long time
• shopping for 2 skirts at the gap that cost me all of $16, bring on the lucky lady deals!
• shopping for 3 shirts at jacob that cost me nothing as i had a gift card
• a quick trip to the grocery store for soup ingredients
• leek and potato soup
• dishes done
• a viewing of The Hangover, which did not make me laugh out loud.  not even once.  even though everyone and their dog claims it is hilarious.  verdict?  not hilarious.
• reading research on 'sex buyers,' otherwise known as johns.  for work.  yes, i read this stuff for work.  if you are interested, you can also read it online.

and now, to tackle the ever-growing pile of laundry that is on my floor, both dirty and clean.  and then maybe a bath.  or a read.  or an early night.  because that is how i roll (or how i am trying to).

eight for twenty eight - monitoring and evaluation

1 - get enough sleep.  oh, i took this to a whole. new. level. before christmas and i think that a change in medication and a vacation managed to get me back to sleeping like a normal person and not like a zombie (zombies sleep during the day a lot, right?).  i think that i kept my health and my sleeping priorities throughout 28 and it resulted in a lot happier and astute me.  i think now the challenge will be to find ways to keep my energy up throughout the day and to get to bed a decent hours so i don't feel like i need to sleep an extra hour before heading into work (and this is one of the many reasons why i love being a consultant!).

2 - buy a home. i think it is safe to say that i rocked this goal right outta the water!  my nest continues to be a home and i continue to love it.

3 - reduce my level of anxiety. overall, i am doing really well with this.  i still have moments where i can feel my breath quickening, but now i recognise what it is and take steps to bring my anxiety to an acceptable level.  i don't think i will ever completely overcome anxiety that comes with taking the bus, new social situations, or when life decides to overwhelm you, but i surely have developed some pretty good coping and identifying skills, which will continue to help keep me sane.  literally.

the proof that i have achieved this goal is that i am not worried about the future and am instead confident that although i have no idea what is coming in 2010, in 29, or the next decade, i sense that it will be pretty damn good.

4 - take better photos. i think that i learned a lot through my course, a lot of the technical side at least.  however, i am not completely confident with my ability to now apply it to my photography practice.  i took a lot of photos in ireland (and would have taken a lot more had it not been for frozen fingers and the lack of fingerless gloves), but i kept my camera on the green idiot box and didn't really test out my knowledge.

in the spring there is a follow-up course that i am going to take that is all about taking photos on location with an instructor and that hands-on learning will likely solidify a lot of the knowledge currently buried deep in the recesses of my cerebral lanscape.

this goal is linked to #2 as well because i have printed off a number of my photos from all over the world, framed them, and hung them.  nothing like unique and homemade artwork to make a nest nestier!

5 - become financially confident.  so i bought a file folder.  with an accordian-like filing system.  i will file my receipts in this.  maybe one day i will graduate to actually making an investment or contributing to my rrsp.  this was a bit of a failure as far as 28 is concerned.  but i bought a house, can we talk more about that?!  because that is sort of like financial confidence, right?  sort of?!

6 - be happy where i am. i am.  simple as that.  not wondering where i will head next.  not complaining about where i am, the state of my career, or why i haven't achieved more.  happy.  content.  excited as i think of the future.  done and done.

7 - visit friends who live in other places. when i first made this goal, i had some pretty specific places in mind to visit.  that list would include chicago, washington dc, ottawa, and maybe even alaska.  where did i end up travelling and visiting friends?  toronto, sheffield, cobh!  not exactly as i had expected, but i did get to visit old friends who recently relocated, a dear friend from grad school, and a new friend who i had actually never met face-to-face, but who i 'knew' through a previous working relationship.

i think that i can put more effort into this goal in the future and make sure that i get to see those people and places that i mentioned above, along with taking other opportunities as they arise.

8 - make the best dating decisions for me (the goal formally known as sort out my relationship).  i think that i have achieved this goal in both its former and current incarnations!  i sorted out my relationship (good riddance to bad rubbish is a saying that comes to mind) and i made a lot of decisions about dating this past year and all of them were the best that i could have done for me.
 
i went on blind dates, i allowed myself to be set up by friends, i tried online dating, i ended things when they no longer suited my needs, i allowed my thoughts and assumptions to be challenged, i got to know A LOT of very eligible bachelors, i made a few new friends, i have been sent gifts from foreign countries, i have made a lot of new facebook friends, and i am still single.  not to say that this is a failure of any sort because i think that as my goal was to make good dating decisions, i have done just that.
 
it will be interesting to see what 29 holds in terms of dating and relationships, but i think as far as goals go, all i can do is what is under my control and that is continue to make the best decisions for me!
 
now, i still have a few more weeks of 28 left, but i am making the assumption that nothing is going to change so drastically in the coming weeks that would affect the way that i see my eight for twenty eight goals over the past 50 weeks!

the emerald isle

oh ireland.  how i loved ireland. 

i loved irish boys, irish beer, irish radio, irish scenery, irish hospitality, irish restaurants.  i didn't love irish weather though.

cold, cold, cold.  that was all i felt for two full weeks although it only ever got to -3.  but it didn't take away from venturing to the following places:

• dublin - staying in a fancy hotel, wandering the streets on christmas day, introduction to irish pubs, invitations from strangers, window shopping at clarks, guinness!
• kilkenny - a lovely castle, a really large bar that would have been fantastic had there been more than one bathroom in the entire place, a hotel room above a pub, my first true irish breakfast (sans black and white puddings), graveyards, long walks, fish and chips, smithwick's ale, learning that it is pronounced 'smithicks'
• cobh - staying with a 'new' friend, sharing bottles of wine until the wee hours, talking and talking and talking, fresh fish, mulled wine, sharing ideas about development, careers, and relationships, rock of cashel, murphy's stout, boot shopping
• kilarney - green rolling hills, gorgeous national park, fantastic clam chowder, a lovely little b & b, friendly people
• cliffs of moher - stressful driving at dusk, gorgeous coastal towns
• galway - happy new year!, charming company, oak bars, fresh oysters, more guinness, more boot shopping, extra long walks along the sea, warm cups of tea, my favourite irish city, italian boots
• derry - no-fun protestant north, fascinating history, fresh ira grafitti, city walls, best b & b hosts ever, more irish breakfasts, funny accents
• giant's causeway - photo shoots on the rocks, best weather of the entire trip, the ocean, beaches, surf shops, views of scotland
• belfast - terrifying history, stunning queen's university campus, even more phenomenal meals, black cab tour of the protestant and catholic areas that suffered most during the troubles, scouring marks & spencer shelves.

driving on the left was far easier than i thought it would be and we couldn't help but laugh as everytime we listened to the radio (constant lady gaga, take that, and jason derulo...) or watched tv all they could talk about were the 'trecherous conditions' and really, they weren't that bad at all.  the roads were relatively clear as it was christmas holidays and only crazies like us decided to tour around ireland in the dead of winter.

i wish i could give a further breakdown of my trip, but i am sort of sick of recapping it for anyone and everyone that asks.  but i will soon be uploading my photos to facebook so keep a look out for them there.

would i go back?  yes.  would i go again in winter?  no, but only because i would love to see many of the places in the summer not because going in the winter was a bad idea.  would i like to spend more time in fewer places?  yes.  would i like to get to connemara next time round?  yes.

oversized thoughts

my trip to windsor and toronto, ontario was an interesting one.  at the same time that i was attempting to wrap my head around the challenges of protecting victims of human trafficking within canada's system, the first charges of human trafficking were laid in calgary, making me the woman of the hour in terms of media interviews.  radio, print, and television, i did them all.  and loved it.

after all that thinking, articulating, and networking, i was ready for a rest and some excitement of a different kind in toronto.

but i was in a strange headspace the entire time i was there.  i am sure trying unsuccessfully to make a scheduled dinner happen didn't help, but i felt as though i didn't belong in toronto.  and yet, when i thought about where i am in calgary, i haven't been sure that this is where i belong either.  i feel in some ways like i have more to offer the world than what it is getting from me right now. 

sitting around and talking policy, human rights, and international conventions felt more right than what i do at my desk monday-friday.  and yet, i don't think i have it in me for another bug change at the moment or the near future.  i think all this back and forth and this and that was exhausting so when i arrived in toronto, my head was full of thoughts that still have no answer and i had visiting to do.  which is tiring itself.

it was a good trip and i am not complaining in the slightest, but it filled my heads with lots of thoughts that will take some time to think through.  good thing i have some long-haul flights in my near future!

the most wonderful time of the year...

an update, because it has just been too long, but i will keep up my regular posting after this short hiatus.

• there was no date in toronto.  there were text messages.  there were telephone calls.  but there was no date, which was a shame, because i looked dazzling.
• i have been off my arse busy after the first charges of human trafficking were laid in calgary!
• i am watching Julie & Julia at the moment (from my home office, aka, my couch) and am loving it.  just what i needed.
• this saturday, at a christmas party, i will be sporting this frock.  but a question for you, internet, how do you make it appear as though you have cleavage when you cannot wear a bra?
• i am overwhelmed with all i have to do before leaving for england in 9 days!  hotels.  rental cars.  visits with friends here and there.  packing, ew, packing.  christmas shopping.  house cleaning.  work.  and then some more work.

when fantasy and reality collide

my trips to windsor and toronto are all booked up.  already, my schedule is full.  a meeting with colleagues.  a 2 day forum on trafficking.  a christmas party.  a date.  a brunch.  a lot of talking, no doubt.  yay. 

yay in a way that i still cannot comprehend and now it seems weird to say too much because where i used to make jokes about things that i never thought would happen, they have all of a sudden become my personal life.  and the personal life of someone else, which was always my policy not to blog about.  read between the lines, if you like.

and i realised that i never did update you on the status of my trip this christmas.  i'm currently in the stages of preparing for a 12 day roadtrip around ireland with a girlfriend.  i am most looking forward to staying in a posh hotel for christmas eve, the christmas lunch, drinking guinness, and meeting irish people (including a former coworker who has invited us to stay with her in cork!).  the part that i am not so looking forward to is the dent this is going to be putting in my pocketbook.  and learning how to drive standard on the other side of the road!

give it to the universe

it turns out that i am going to do better than i thought with my eight for twenty eight goals that i set earlier this year.  the one that i wasn't going to do as well as i had hoped was # 7 - visit friends who live in other places.

but it turns out that i get to experience more success with this goal than i previously expected because when i go to the conference on human trafficking in windsor, ontario next week, i have to fly through toronto and it just makes sense to stick around after the conference and visit with three of my favourite people who happen to live there.  one is a friend from high school (although we weren't actually friends in high school), one is her lovely boyfriend, and the other is my former boss who has since become a sort of mentor.  it promises to be a fantastic visit, no matter what we do.

this does mean that i will have to miss out on some fun back here in calgary, but i think it will be worth it to spend some additional time in the t dot.  and i am giving this one to the universe and i am confident that there is a reason i am going, even if i won't find out until later.

and if a certain someone decides to reply to my email then there might also be a rendezvouz of sorts in the big city.  that would be grand, just grand.

looking into the crystal ball

my girls and i had our monthly ladies' night last night and this time, to make it a little more interesting, we invited a psychic to join us and to do readings while we enjoyed our wine and tarts.  here is what she said:

• i should be a teacher or be teaching people, that is what i am here to do
• i will be moving to toronto in march or april and it will be for a job
• i try to be a master of whatever i choose to do
• i will likely go back to school to do a phd and this will be somewhere in eastern canada
• i might not have children because my life will revolve around my career and my husband
• my future is very positive
• my life will have many recurring patterns, a number of endings and beginnings
• my emotional health is good now and to keep it good, i should always exercise
• whoever i am meant to marry is in toronto and i am supposed to meet him next fall and it might be someone from my past, someone i have met a few years ago
• my brothers are going to be aok, even though one will experience various challenges, but he will just need us to let him know we care

and what do i think about all this stuff?  that much of what i heard made a lot of sense and makes me happy and excited about the future.  i think that i would like to have a family one day so i am doubtful that i would focus only on my career and not have children.  and i am not too sure what was going on with me marrying someone i already know because i really cannot think of someone i already know (unless of course we are talking about a certain someone that i met last week!) and the flip side of that is that i will meet someone next fall, but that just feels so far away!

going back to uni, getting a phd, and becoming a professor though?  absolutely!  i would love to and i think that being a form of a teacher or sharer of wisdom sounds like a good life plan for me.

i think this deserves an 'omg'

i can't even begin to tell the internet how fantastic and amazing last night's event was.

and how even more fantastic and amazing the email i received this morning is!