29+7

i am a bit early this month, but i suspect i will have a rather busy 8 days before i leave for south africa with my mama, so i am updating my monthly goals before i head off.

1 - conquer my anxiety, or at least win a few battles against it.  this has been easy this month and i am not quite sure why.  i have been rather busy and continue to feel stretched, but i am not worrying.  i am not panicking.  i am ok.  it's a nice change.

2 - be more thoughtful of others, especially around special occasions.  my little bro and i are going to see kooza, the cirque du soleil show in calgary at the moment, tomorrow to celebrate his 18th birthday (my little brother is an adult!).  and my first christmas gift (for giving, of course) arrived in the mail.  we celebrated my mom's birthday at our cabin at the beginning of the month and we were not scrambling to figure out who was going to get what, it was pleasant and a lot of fun.

3 - continue making visiting family and friends a priority.  seeing as flying to south africa and touring around the winelands and whale trail after a week in cape town is rather pricey, i think this might be it for this year!  but i have managed to get quite a bit of visiting with my dad in and that was a nice change this year.  still no trips to eastern canada or the states, but i am still committed to making those trips happen one day.  for now, i am satisfied with the time i will spend with friends in south africa and i might even get a chance to see the woman i lived with in bredasdorp, south africa over 5 years ago!

4 - nail down some sort of short-term career goals.  hmpf.  still no closer.  my one grand hope for my time in south africa is that i will take advantage of the distance from my regular life to get some clarity on what my next steps are.  i keep waiting for the universe to show me the best path, but i'd be lying if i didn't admit that i am getting a little impatient.  faith in the journey, faith in the journey...

5 - lay a nest egg to accompany my nest.  i've been careful with my pennies lately.  this won't be enough to lay a nest egg, but it will allow me to enjoy my time in the southern hemisphere and know i will be coming back to get right back into my job(s), not only because i will have to catch up on 3 weeks away, but also so i can earn some money!

6 - eat more balanced, regular meals.  i certainly am not mastering this, but i did spend this past saturday canning pickled beets and salsa, yum.  i also made those meatballs last night that were a complete success and me and my slow cooker continue to get to know one another better.  i recently renewed my first aid certification, where i was reminded that we can all do something to improve our heart health and i can certainly eat less red meat (when did that happen?!) and make better food choices.

7 - sleep an appropriate amount.  success!  apart from this past weekend when i had 2 late nights, i have been doing well and feeling rested in the mornings and even making it into my office at a reasonable hour every now and again.  i am not appreciating the darker mornings as the seasons change and might feel differently about getting out of my cozy sheets in the morning as soon as it cools down and the mornings stay dark until after i arrive at work, but for now, i'll keep motoring along and when i get behind, take an in-the-bed, pants-off nap!

8 - maintain my priorities.  this has certainly been a struggle lately, with competing demands of 2 jobs, a volunteer commitment, and juggling social engagements and fitness.  i have found some sort of balance lately and i am not convinced it is permanent, but my decision to get a housekeeper and to say no to invitations from friends and family have helped for the time being.  again, when i return from south africa i am going to have to have a bit of an overhaul on the priority front and i am not sure just yet how the chips will fall.

9 - keep asking for what i want.  i can't really think of anything i have asked for lately.  oh wait, i have asked for some help and guidance on projects for work, which has been endlessly helpful and was instrumental in creating better balance this past month.  i walked away from work and put my worries away more than usual this past month and in a sense, that is a form of asking for what i want.  even if it is a conversation i have to have with myself.

i am still working on the first piece of this goal - figuring out what i want in order to know how and who to ask for it.  i have confidence this is coming down the pipeline.  as my mentor at work says, 'as soon as you feel you have no idea what to do next or where to turn, you can be sure that the universe is setting you up for something and you won't know it until you look back.'

i am feeling as though my goal updates are not that interesting or positive these past few months and in many ways, they match my ho-hum attitude.  i am going to work on keeping these a little closer to my thoughts throughout the next month and have something super fantastic to say in a few short weeks!

going to the experts

i can't decide if the best part about Maid Days is the folded triangles on my toilet paper rolls or that all my crap is neatly piled, but i love it.  and especially on a day like today where i woke up looking forward to crawling back into my bed in the evening.

and i would be there now if the fire alarm wasn't screaming (and it screams something fierce and likely unsafe for human ears).  instead, i have opened a bottle of velvet fog and am waiting it out.  shame it is getting darker earlier now or i could enjoy my beer on my balcony and admire the uniformed firemen that come when this happens once each month.

but instead, i am watching the television show that my mom has me hooked on, come dine with me, a channel 4 programme from the uk that is kitschy, hilarious, and real.  which is much more than i can say for american reality tv shows and reminds me of life in england when i had dinner parties for my international friends and had to balance halal, vegetarian, south african meat eaters, and 5 flatmates in a shared kitchen.

and on the topic of food, i made my very own meatballs last night!  all by myself!  for the first time!  and they are delicious.

the upside of obsessiveness

i have cooked beef stew, pasta sauce, and vegetarian chilli in the past 4 days and there doesn't seem to be any letting up.  i am eating better than i have in weeks and am excited to have people over to share in my amazement of my slow cooker!

cleaning house, literally and figuratively

it is time to get organised!

i have hired a housekeeper and have forgiven myself for not being able to stay on top of my housework and given myself permission to contract that part of my life to a professional.  but (but!), i will now have to stay on top of keeping things tidy and do a deep clean before she arrives in a week's time.  but this is much needed and overdue.

in other organisational news, i am still learning the ins and outs of my new mac book pro and how to best manage my photos and files and this thing is really is a wonder, but i am still learning and find myself wishing there was a right click button as well as page up and page down buttons.

although it is not entirely linked to organisation, i am right this very moment using my slow cooker to make beef stew for the first time.  and i must say, cutting up the raw beef and browning it in a frying pan was completely manageable!  and i am certain i will not poison anyone if they choose to sample my stew, which is sure to be delicious.  but are you supposed to lift the lid on a slow cooker?  i can't seem to find the willpower to just leave it and want to keep checking on it, but maybe this defeats the purpose of the slow cooker?

any hints on how to get the campfire smell out of clothes?  i have already washed them on the highest setting on my washer and with extra soap, but they still stink and they are my running clothes so i don't very well want to be stinking up the pathways or smelling smoke as i run my buns up a hill.

and i have placed my amazon.ca order for the cape town lonely planet book and you know what that means - trip planning is about to begin!  i love planning a trip and this should keep me busy for the next few weeks before departing to rsa in october.

and next up - a weekend of running errands and getting my life back in some semblance of order!

not bad, for a wednesday

yesterday, jana, ayer, hier:

• i ran in -11 degrees and hated every minute of it. it does not compare to this miserable run, but i sure felt the same way afterwards.
• i went on a date. i ate steak. i got a new mix cd. i had a glass of wine. it was really nice.
• i could not find any reasonably priced flights to vegas, so my plans of visiting sin city were thwarted. which is sort of ok because i just wanted a cheap getaway anyways.
• my little bro got knocked out in game 5 of a 5 game series.
• i collected the clothes i no longer wear to give to a refugee family who has recently moved to canada. (if you have any you would like to donate, contact me and i will get you the information to do the same).
• i continued to battle the congestion. which i am convinced is directly linked to dairy consumption. but i cannot imagine a life without mini eggs and cheese.
• a man offered me his seat on the train and before i could say 'no thank you,' he was up and i was sitting and then i felt a bit awkward for the rest of the journey.

soapbox, perhaps

because you cannot turn your head without hearing or reading about the ECONOMIC DOWNTURN, i have a little something (else) to say about it too. i had coffee with my top colombian chum yesterday and he made a really good point, one that i think we often forget. he said, and i have to agree with him, that these types of crises are commonplace in so many other countries, especially in latin america. there have been economic crises, recoveries, absolute meltdowns, among other daily struggles in so many other parts of the world. people living through such things have learned to become industrious, resourceful, and hopeful in light of so-called impending doom.

and people from those countries, including colombia, are now living and working and prospering in canada. it is my prediction that it is these communities that will weather this economic storm better than anyone else and may come out the winners in the us, the uk, and canada. he also used an ever favourite english expression to recommend that canadians should just 'chill out.'

similarly, i am not so sure why canadians are up in arms about obama's economic stimulus package that includes a 'buy american' clause. how on earth can canadians say that these are unlawful protectionist policies that break trade law? we would do the exact same thing, international protocol or not. remember that little problem with the beef years ago? same thing. we rallied around our beef industry and insisted on exclusively buying canadian beef and gave all those who didn't the evil stink eye. and i think that that was an appropriate response, just as americans trying to save their own mortgages is the right response for them. now, it is our dorky pm's job to play the game, be diplomatic, and represent canadian interests. and stay away from vests of any persuasion.

and you knew it was coming, everyone is going to have something to say about the woman who just gave birth to octuplets in california. my first instinct is to think this is a product of a private health care system that would allow someone to pay for fertility treatment even though they already had 6 children and that i cannot understand a mother choosing to put 8 lives in danger rather than reducing the number of fetuses early on. but as one doctor put it, his job is not to police births, but to provide information and education to parents. and we would all be in serious trouble if our doctors were allowed to police our behaviour, yet i think in an environment where we enjoy the benefits of public health care, the burden those babies will put on our health care system may change that thinking. a little Handmaid's Tale-esque, but it does make me think.

luckily for me, i am not raising 14 children so i won't need to think about it for too long and get back to organising my daytimer to fit all my commitments and engagements in while enjoying this great weather with a run tonight!

memorable mpumalanga moments

(may 4, 2008)

did you know that some people in south africa go grocery shopping without shoes on? i did not. and i was so amazed i started checking out everyone’s feet that passed me in the produce section. (and the electronics store, as it so happened)

the south africans take their biltong seriously. and their sausage. and all of their meat products. now i remember why the last time i returned from the rainbow nation i had to take a meat vacation. this time, i need to take a chip vacation. although i have become a chip connoisseur that could handle any british chip shop, i need to take a step back from deep fried starches.

the part of south africa where i lived a few years ago is very different than a mpumalanga mining town. i am so happy that i got to tour around more of rsa. there are some phenomenal rock formations around those parts, which works for me because rock formations are sort of like my new hobby.

when you order red wine at a restaurant, pub, or hotel, they give you the biggest glass of tasty wine for a few dollars. it is great. and the would-be beginnings of a drinking condition.

however, the food situation is not so great. there are the ever-delicious chips, but little else besides meat and squished sandwiches that are not to my taste. i did fit in a few pieces of milk tart though.

alarms are everywhere and so is paranoia. but i sort of get it after almost being mugged in broad daylight in a shopping mall. sort of.

i remember the highway driving in the western cape to be nerve wracking, but i thought it was just that particular driver. no, south african highways are frightening places. and the government has wasted a lot of money on stop signs that are largely ignored.

afrikaans is still as beautiful as ever. and my sarcasm is still intact. but it still fascinates me even if i don’t care for the sound of it. i mean, who makes up their own language?!

i watched a lot of the discovery channel and saw the very first episode of Miami Ink, a lot of myths busted, and how things are made. i also drank a lot of tea. sweet, sweet tea. i think that time should always be made for the preparation and enjoyment of good tea. and not the milky kenyan stuff.

my favourite hotel in the world is in a town called graskop. an establishment where contemporary artists design each room differently and there are pieces of art in the restaurant, the stairwell, the bar, the bathrooms, and the lobby is my kind of hotel. i also loved the bartender named rodger whom we named my wooden chicken after. (the carved chicken was a sign of love purchased from the side of the road and is probably not nearly as freaking hilarious to anyone else but me.)

i now own 2 pairs of converse. i can’t bring myself to throw out my old ones though, even with their holes. i am pretty much ok with that.

i love vacation.

toe crack

(january 21, 2007)

i have been in nairobi for 3 months and i know we always say it, but it really feels like it has flown by. i keep wondering if i will stop being happy here. part of me just assumes that it won’t last. can’t last, by some rule of nature or gravity – what goes up must come down. but i remain content and continue to enjoy my life in kenya.

this past week i acquired a new item for my room which makes is even more my own. i am almost ashamed to admit that it is a sheep skin rug, which is not normally something i would choose to put in my room (and i recall making a big fuss out of someone else’s every time i inadvertently stepped on it…) but i stayed in my flatmate’s room before i moved into mine and every morning i stood on this thing and got addicted to the soft fluffy wool on my toes to start the day. well she moved out and left behind her sheep, so i hastily relocated the dead animal skin from her room to mine and now it sits beside my bed waiting for my feet in the morning. i call it crack for my toes. it feels that good.

and speaking of meat, this quasi-vegetarian went for my second, and much more enjoyable than the first, nyama choma experience. roasted meat. i do like the goat. and i had nice company and a Stoney soda to go with it.

it’s the world social forum this week and i wonder if there will be a noticeable change in the city. there were a lot more people here during the climate change conference (sorry about the job sitch, rona) and it was tougher to get a taxi. i went to a concert on saturday to kick off the wsf and it also kicked ass. live music, drummers, outdoors. slug on my foot. it was grand.

in other creepy crawly news, i sat in a nairobi fly hill this afternoon. these bastards ooze poison if you squish them on your skin and then you get an awful rash and then your skin peels off. apparently not painful but i’ve seen the after effects and i am not interested in any skin discolourations. i am also not interested in any more mosquito bites so i think i will have to suck it up and get a mosquito net even though i hate sleeping under them.

i love alberta beef

hugh was not waiting for me at the arrivals gate at heathrow... but it was ok because my mom and my sister were waiting in calgary with a big bouquet of flowers. and of course my favourite westjetter was working too, so that was nice to see some familiar faces among the sea of people when i touched down.

we went directly to my grandparents' house for christmas and it was almost as magical as when we were young, i think it had something to do with having kids around and a full house. my favourite part was everyone eating at a long table, sitting my noisy cousins and uncle at one end and managing to pass brussel sprouts and jelly salads to everyone. it was really great and so nice to feel as though this family, with all its idiosyncrasies and loudness, is mine.

i had alberta beef today for lunch. an albertan girl who doesn't like meat always seems to have space for a little alberta beef.