confessions

(september 5, 2007)

• i have not been for a run since last thursday and am feeling rather guilty about it


• i had chocolate fudge cake for lunch twice last week


• i have made a rule that i cannot have chocolate fudge cake again until i have been for 3 runs


• i feel as though my life makes more sense when there are rules


• i did do pilates tonight and i really need to get a yoga mat because otherwise my flatmate is going to start wondering why his keeps disappearing and coming back smelling like my feet


• i am having lunch with a man i hope is in uniform tomorrow


• i am pretty sure that i am in over my head at work, but shhhhhhhhhhh..... don’t tell anyone


• i have also been given an opportunity to demonstrate that i can do it


• i am beginning to like the feeling of being protected and taken care of, it is an adjustment


• i made leek and potato soup last night, it was a bit too salty but won rave reviews


• i have been trouble getting up in the mornings lately so i have instituted a bedtime of 9:30pm but it is currently 10:15pm


• i took my newly named laptop (lucille, if you were wondering) for her first spin on kenyan wireless and i think she liked it


• even though i made a rule that i was not allowed to buy peanut butter (due to the unfortunate incident(s) of eating it right out of the jar with a spoon...), i bought a jar but it is just a little one and i have yet to use it for anything but spreading on toast


• i can’t get into The L Word but am really enjoying the first season of Six Feet Under – i am also really enjoying renting bootleg copies of tv shows for my evenings’ entertainment


• i watched Brokeback Mountain for the 4th or 5th time last night and it is still as heartbreaking as ever, i swear it is the music


• i spent last weekend napping, reading, drinking tea, running from monkeys, watching elephants and hippos sloosh around in swamps, trying to locate the top of kilimanjaro through the clouds, eating, and drinking wine and i am not sure why i am so lucky to be able to do that on a random september weekend

• i also spent some time last friday night on the side of a dirt road after dark with a flat tire about 20km outside of the park gates and with a jack that did not work – my job was to sit in the car and not be noticed and not protest about being told to sit in the car, i did pretty well at my job but it was damn scary and thanks only to a truck full of nice men in suits am i not trampled by an elephant, eaten by a tiger, the victim of armed robbery, or any number of other roadside calamities you hear about in this country


• i’d rather be at home today sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of wine with my mom than anywhere in the world – happy birthday momsy

mabel, mabel

i have learned something recently. i like eating (that almost goes without saying these days) but part of what i love about it is when you have the opportunity to share that time with someone and talk about big ideas or just about your day. the part that has become apparent is that not everyone does this or enjoys this. which made me think about why i like it so much and i think it has a lot to do with eating with my family at home.

we aren't overly formal, but we don't allow elbows on the table.
we don't always have fancy meals, but they are always healthy and tastey.
we don't always need to be there, but there is always enough if we all are.
we don't say grace or have to wait til everyone is finished to leave the table, but we talk a lot and keep up to date on everyone's lives.

now that i am away from all of this, i find myself craving it. and when it does happen i really feel at home.

now if i could just get more people to wash and dry dishes the 'right', oops i mean 'my', way.

rules about tools

my step dad always says that there is a proper tool for every job and today i disobeyed this logic and the rule that states, "do not cut towards yourself" and cut my thumb with a serrated knife, which was because i was lazy and figured it meant less dishes if i just used one knife. not smart at all. but nothing a band aid can't handle. is just reminded me that sometimes your parents do know best and that pots' handles should not hang off the edge of the stove, you should never hand someone scissors with the pointy end out, and you should ALWAYS CUT AWAY FROM YOU.