'tis the season of red cups, party dresses, baking days, and the peanuts christmas special

so what's going on with me lately?

i seem to have my life under control.  i was seriously debating hosting a christmas (or non-denominational seasonally festive, if you prefer) party, but have decided against it because i am just now feeling as though i am on top of my life for the first time in a few months.  it feels good.

instead, i think i will host myself a birthday party.  because i am turning 30 in february and they tell me that this is one of those milestone birthdays and i haven't had one of those in awhile.

work (x2) is going surprisingly well.  i thought i would be drowning in tasks and to do lists, but i am keeping my head above water, if only just.  the energy and recognition i have received since the avenue top 40 under 40 was released has kept me motivated and moving forward and i am hoping i can ride that momentum out as much as possible.

my volunteers are no longer zapping me of all my spirit and i am finding the language to flip their assumptions and misconceptions on their heads without being offensive.  i am asked to host, present, and attend various events and i am now picking and choosing which ones i attend rather than just saying yes.

for instance, i get to have lunch with calgary's new mayor tomorrow!  well, me and a bunch of other people, but i am still looking forward to it.  but i haven't figured out what i will wear.  and this seems like a rather important decision to make.

overall, my attitude is positive, my outlook is optimistic, and i am looking forward to some exciting things to celebrate the holiday season: the annual girls' christmas baking day, family traditions, an invitation to a christmas party where i can wear betsey again, and hopefully some downtime at the cabin.

amongst all this good stuff, i am trying not to feel as though i am not doing enough (whatever enough is), not to stress about what my next steps are, or about the seeming lack of any available, interesting, and intriguing men in my path!  but that is a post and line of thinking for another post and another day.

29 + 4

1 - conquer my anxiety, or at least win a few battles against it.  remember last month and when i was thrilled with my ability to kick anxiety's ass?  wow, what a difference a month makes.  and as i just mentioned, i do not feel as though i am winning.  no specific anxieties, just a general sense of anxiousness pervading my days.  and i can't kick this idea that time is running out.  time to do what?  i am not sure.  but i do feel like i need to get on with something.  just not sure what that something is.

blah.  working on it, but blah.

2 - be more thoughtful of others, especially around special events, days, occasions.  i don't think i have done much of this this month as i have been a little preoccupied with keeping my life together.  one thing that i have done is take on some additional work as my supervisor is going through the death of a family member and i have been happy to do it.  but i still owe my bro $40 because i forgot to bring cash to put in his card and i sent my step-dad a birthday text a day late.  sheesh.  i need to get this one together!

3 - continue making visiting family and friends a priority.  i got out to vancouver island for a long weekend of family time and it was absolutely stunning.  my trip to south africa is still in the most initial stages of planning and there is a small, small hope that i migth get to visit friends in another city yet this summer.  fingers crossed!

4 - nail down some sort of short-term career goals.  let's just say that this one is on hold.  opportunities are coming up with my day job and i managed to get a raise at my part time job, but i am working on the other details.

5 - lay a nest egg to accompany my nest.  unlike previous months this year, this is going better than the rest.  i have been working a lot, which is good for my bank account, and i have not been spending too much (except for that little spree last thursday... oh, the sales got the better of me!).  it helps that tax season is over for me and i have a clue about how much i will have to pay in coming years and can save/spend appropriately.

6 - eat more balanced, regular meals.  just spent the weekend at my fam's cabin and that did wonders for my regular meat eating.  but still when i am at home alone i eat garlic dill pickles for dinner and that likely won't change any time soon!

actually, after the inspiration of regular meals of the cabin, i cooked shrimp for the first time ever tonight.  it was deceptively easy and i will certainly do that again.  because unless i continue to have vegetarian friends over for dinner (as i did a few weeks ago), i will have to expand my cooking repertoir past meat (and by extension, any shell fish) free dishes.

7 - sleep an appropriate amount.  the jetlag from asia took me quite some time to get over and that put a bit of a damper in my sleeping schedule, but since then!  i have managed to get it together and haven't even been napping much lately.  oh, except for after returning from a conference in banff for work where i certainly did not get enough sleep between 7am meetings and 2am bedtimes.

with stampede around the corner and a few parties already planned, i will surely need to plan for a few extra hours during the 10 days of partying in this town.

8 - maintain my priorities.  i am doing my best to stick with my priorities, but i am afraid that i have not been exercising as much as i should lately and a lot of my energies have been spent on work and on people who might not deserve them so a check is in order and i feel as though i have already started putting things back where they should be and remembering what is important.

9 - keep asking for what i want.  the first thing would be to figure out what it is that i want!  and lately it seems like a moving goal post...

happy mama's day!

poor dieter

first, back on august long weekend, someone in sicamose with much too much anger inside of them decided it would be a great idea in the middle of a sweltering afternoon outside of a grocery store to put their lit cigarette out on dieter's hood. not the metal part of the hood, but the plastic bit where the windshield wipers come out, leaving a small burn hole and their nasty cigarette butt.

then, when i was nearly back in town after a weekend trip to edmonton, a rock caught the corner of dieter's windshield, leaving a small crack that i quickly had repaired by the lovely people at speedy auto glass. they warned me that in about 10% of cases, the crack will spread after they repair it, essentially making a small problem worse and it was just dieter's luck that this is precisely what happened to him. so now there is a crack that sweeps around to the edge of the windshield, but at least it is outside of my line of vision when i drive.

and then (and then!) last night after driving back from a weekend at the cabin (in a dieter that has never been dirtier thanks to a rain shower and extremely dusty roads), i noticed that someone has taken a key to his passenger side! i am not sure exactly how you repair a key scratch, of if you can (any ideas or suggestions?!), but what is wrong with people who would do that to someone else's property? that is all i can think of. and, of course, how i feel badly for not taking proper care of dieter, although i suppose there isn't much that i could have done and i have been driving him around town a lot lately to carry out my nesting.

all you get is this list

• i promise that i have more posts about thailand in me. i will get to them as soon as i am ready to fight with blogger to post photos again
• my hair had a dye job today and i am a lot more blonde than i anticipated!
• another saturday afternoon spent on the banks of the lake at the cabin, ahhhhhh...
• i found a house i want to live in. and now for the stressful part, i will let you know how it goes
• after a month long hiatus, i went for a run. it was tough, but at least it was 6km
• i am going houseboating this weekend with a bunch of women i don't know. sometimes i make spontaneous decisions. most often they are the best decisions
• dating lots of men is fun, dating only one might be a titch more difficult

bruised, battered, and better for it

i’ve spent this weekend at the cabin and i am wondering how i lived in the years before having the option of heading down here for a weekend!

but first, the bruised and battered portion: i have managed to bruise both legs and both arms through either tubing and/or jumping out of and reboarding the boat after having some mid-lake pees while drinking cold beer in the hot, southern albertan sun. there was also a little sand in the bottom of the tube while i was in it and let’s just say it was a little abrasive on the cheeks!

laying in the sun, i worked my way through two issues of The Economist, began a new book that i am taking notes from i am enjoying it so much, and even managed to type up some work-related correspondence. i also got to chill out with my bros and parents and catch up with decades-long family friends.

funny isn’t it, that without the guilt of having to be doing something, i can get so much more done?! not having television, mobile phone coverage, or internet helps too.

anyone want to join me next weekend for another one?!

beginning to understand why it's called a pandemic

my newest question for the universe is: how much snot can one body produce?!

so gross, but i have been sick with what seems to be some sort of manifestation of the piglet flu that i picked up, along with all my great buys, in thailand before returning home. it has been over a week since this cold started and it still does not seem to be improving one lick.

i think i am feeling better so i get up and do something, only to end up right back on the couch within a few hours.

my symptoms include: congestion (as always), aches, intermittent fever, lack of energy, chest tightness and inability to get a full, deep breath, and constantly plugged ears and muffled hearing.

sounds great, doesn't it?

i was banished from my office and told to work from home so as not to infect anyone and although i have toyed with going to the doctor, i was told by one such professional that there is nothing they can prescribe for the h1n1 flu, if that is what this is, apart from rest and isolation.

and this shouldn't have been a surprise as i was mildly concerned i would be quarantined when arriving in canada, hacking and sneezing, which earned me some skeptical and accusatory looks from the canadian customs agents.

so here i am, on a gorgeous afternoon, stuffy and snotty and hoping that i regain my health so that i can enjoy a hot, sunny albertan summer weekend at the cabin.

Little Bee lacks authenticity

over the easter long weekend, i read the book Little Bee by Chris Cleave. the subject matter, a nigerian asylum seeker struggles in the uk, would be intimately interesting to me considering my work in migration, my life in the uk, and my general love for things african and/or refugee.

and it was a good story, drawing attention to the struggles in nigeria over rights to oil deposits and the challenge to survive in migrant detention centres and in a foreign society with little to no resources.

however, i am not so sure that the author is deserving of the accolades for this book (shortlisted for the costa award for best novel in the uk) because i think it overly simplifies the storyline and its characters. someone gets their finger chopped off on a beach whilst vacationing in nigeria with their husband and then runs from the rebels back to their compound? i am not saying that it could never happen, but just throwing an incident into the story and not digging deeper left the story a little flat for me.

there is an interesting interview with the author where i think he makes a better case for bringing the issues of detaining irregular (not illegal) migrants indefinitely and in inhumane conditions to the public than he does in his book and is worth a read.

although even in this interview he completely misuses the words refugee and asylum seeker and although i realise that to most people, the differences are moot, if you are going to write an entire novel on the topic, you should get the terminology correct. the main character, little bee, is not a refugee and is instead an asylum seeker. asylum seekers are not inherently victims of anything, hence the word 'seeker' included in the phrase. they are asking to be allowed to stay on humanitarian grounds, but have not been given formal leave to do so yet.

i took slight offence to the assumption that little bee could not return to nigeria and that the british system would detain an unaccompanied minor in her situation. i am not saying these things do not happen, but i do know there are many programmes for unaccompanied minors and there are guidelines on how to handle such cases. in fact, i was involved in one such case of unaccompanied kenyan children in europe and they were not detained, not mistreated, and not forced to go anywhere that was unsafe. (but i get that this happens, i just wish there had been more information given to make the issues clear).

there are literally thousands of stories that could be told about migrants' experiences in the uk and i would most likely purchase and read any of them that are published, but i suppose i have pretty high expectations of authors who wish to tackle such an issue so personal to me. unfortunately, this book did not meet those expectations.

theme-less list

• i have two potential blind dates to look forward to. my dating advice? tell everyone you know that you are dating and that you are open to being set up.
• time at the cabin was wonderful over the easter long weekend. reading books, preparing training materials, winning at monopoly (even though my opponents forfeited), drinking beer in the afternoon, sunburns, dog walks, podcasts, mmmmm...... delicious
• i came into my office building this week to find all the windows painted to cheer on the flames and rogue pucks painted on the twirly doors. who doesn't love nhl playoff season?!
• that billy bob thornton is an ass
• that thailand better get these protests under control. don't they know i am coming?
• my next spanish class is starting up this week. level 6, baby!
• i may need to institute the indicator pants again...
• i purchased a new pair of shoes made by a company called Blowfish. i am really enjoying them and although i cannot link to the exact pair i bought, they have this rather interestingly shaped heel that makes walking easy. now i do not look as though i might topple over when i wear heels (or hopefully i do not appear as unstable as i feel). and yes, they are leather.
• anyone have any good recommendations (or suggestions on where to avoid) for a hotel in san francisco? (or does anyone want to join me? ahem!)
• i am a sneezing machine lately, which i will take over the congestion any day.

UPDATE: there is a really good globe and mail column that makes an interesting comparison to the cbc and media in the states when interviewing celebrities, including billy the bob. article here.