what a weekend

with weekends like the past two i have had in calgary, i could be convinced never to leave the city.

my weekend started a little early with a shopping trip that ended with new sweaters, a dress i can wear to a stampede festivity this july, tights that remind me eerily of my figure skating days, new fashionable belts, a few little things for my future niece, and a feather for my hair.

i got to try out the new kol3 in kensington for vietnamese crepes and iced coffees with a good friend i met through my current job.  and we followed it up with a cold beer at molly malone's to continue our conversation about all things relationships, career directions, house shopping, women's rights, office gossip...  not sure that we solved the world's problems, but we certainly had a great time catching up.

saturday morning was chillier than i had hoped, with spring shyly poking its head around the corner this past week, so after running back into my house to add a layer, i headed out for a lovely morning run.  even though there was some pesky ice on the pathways, i had a great run paired with non-stop chatting with a dear friend facing some pretty daunting challenges at the moment.  more listening than talking on my part, but that was just fine.

i headed out to my neighbourhood pub on saturday evening with a new chum from work to see a local band play.  the band was pretty medium, but the company and laughs were pretty awesome.  getting a taxi home at the end of the night when the snow started falling, not so awesome.

and today, a day of phone calls and catching up with friends far away and family nearby was followed by some comfort cooking.  after stirring and stirring and adding and adding liquid, i created a most delicious risotto paired with homemade pesto that i whipped up in my food processor (without cutting my finger this time).  i needed some time in the kitchen to relax and forget momentarily about the state of the world, which was weighing heavily on my shoulders after following the stories of cote d'ivoire, japan, libya, yemen, bahrain, and haiti on twitter and the news this past week.  sometimes having a constant stream of information can work against your sanity and sense of contentment and if there is a silver lining in this cloud it is that i am getting better at recognising when that is happening to me so i can take a step back.  and that is what i did tonight with fantastic results and a lot of leftovers!

the need for distance and perspective is at the heart of my intentions in giving up impatience for lent.  it has been a good practice thus far and i have not only recognised when i begin to get antsy or worrisome about my future, but have reminded myself not to allow that anxiety to creep in and that if i really want to worry, i can do it in a few short weeks.  reshaping my thinking around my future and how i can get so anxious about it has also helped me appreciate what i do have.  the grass might be greener for me elsewhere, but it is pretty damn green where i am right now as well.  and having a weekend full of pretty wonderful friends is part of that.

wherein i use a few caps

ever since i woke up on january 1, 2011, i have felt a change a'coming.  i have no idea what it will be nor when it will come, but i feel ready for it.

going to new york inspired me to get my arse in gear to get out into the world again and find something else to to for a little while.  to not be afraid to leave the comforts of my home town again and to explore a little more, knowing that there is a whole lot of awesome to come home to anytime i choose.  the beauty of an economy fuelled by a commodity-driven industry that is on the up once again, i suppose.

i cleaned out my closets, giving away a bunch of stuff and consigning some others (wherein i chose not to consign my clothes at one shop because they give all the unsold merchandise to an 'orphanage in africa' and couldn't answer me which of the 50+ countries they were referring to nor why they made the orphanage pay for the shipping of the clothes to their magical unnamable part of the continent).  i updated my vaccines, passing out in the process, so that if i feed the urge to up and leave to a yellow feverish place, i will be covered (in fact, the reason i am up right now, even though it is midnight and i have a week full of early morning and it is the day of the year that daylight savings kicks your ass is because i forgot i have to take a live typhoid vaccine on an empty stomach and well, my stomach is not empty.

i have also decided to give up impatience and self doubt for lent.  yes, i know this is not in the typical spirit of lent, but i needed a time frame and well, it was conveniently timely (is saying conveniently timely redundant??).  i am reminding myself that everything has worked out thus far and will continue to do so, in a time frame that is never going to end or stop and as i have always said, there is no finish line and the whole success is not a destination thing (i think you can find some lame quote from me on the interwebs about that, actually).

i am trying to remember that an opportunity will come my way.  no sense in worrying or fretting that time is passing me by (I AM GETTING OLDER, OH MY GOD, I AM BEHIND... you get the idea).  if the past two years are any indication, opportunities find me and i do my best to put myself right in their path as best i can.  i feel as though i have done that now and so now i just wait.

but waiting is not so bad.  last week i braved the -20* temperatures and went to the joshua radin, cary brothers, laura jansen show and it was amazing.  as i said on twitter, it made me want to fall in love and break up again and again.  well, not really, but they sure did make it sound poetic and romantic and wonderful and heart wrenching.  and a concert at the former silver dollar action centre?  not so bad, especially if you like a little greasy pizza with your handsome singer/songwriters.

i followed that up with so many pints, breakfasts, coffees, and dinners with so many inspiring, intelligent, and hilarious people this past week that i was pleasantly reminded that i am surrounded by a community of people and i have a few greatest fans out there, which is always a nice boost to the confidence.

oh, and i ate at boxwood, which was a chorizon/polenta delight, had breakfast at wake in kensington, where they brew a strong cup of coffee and make mean eggs benedict, and had a perfectly poured latte at vendome cafe.  so if you are in the city, go try those newcomers to the ever expanding culinary/coffeehouse scene around these parts.

29+8

i just realised that i hadn't updated my goals for october, so here they are!

1 - conquer my anxiety, or at least win a few battles against it.  i had a little anxiety around social engagements last week, especially to go to events where i was the focus of the attention, but i feel on top of things this week and rather optimistic about the future, which is great.  and wards off the anxiety.  but i do miss those wild dreams on anti-anxiety meds!

2 - be more thoughtful of others, especially around special occasions.  texts, cards, calls.  just need to work on the gifts, especially as it is coming up to christmas season and i want to make sure that i am not scrambling to pick stuff up for the people on my list.  i am hoping to think of some good ideas.

3 - continue making visiting family and friends a priority.  i don't have any plans for trips to see anyone after my whirlwind trip of visiting in south africa.  but i do have a lot of fun events coming up with friends and family.  birthday dinners, birthday drinks, ladies christmas pot-luck, baking day, wine tasting with the girls, bridal showers and stagettes, family christmas traditions to look forward to, and the icing on the cake will be a close friend's wedding in banff.  i think it will be a pretty fantastic holiday season and i am going to get things started early (which i figure is completely acceptable because starbucks has released the red cups, marking the official beginning of the holiday season!  well, sort of).

4 - nail down some sort of short-term career goals.  this is connected to #1.  i feel good about what is to come.  it has been wonderful to get credit for a job well done in my current positions and for my managers and high ups to congratulate me on my accomplishments.  my company advertised in the same magazine that i was featured in and in the ad they said that i was compassionate, committed, and deserving of the accolade.  my past 9 months have been taken over with thoughts of 'what next?' and 'where to?' and not feeling as though i am doing what i should be.  i am still not sure what the answers to those questions are, but i am content with where i am professionally and that is the best i have felt about #4 all year.

5 - lay a nest egg to accompany my nest.  i'm laying off the international travel for awhile.  that should help in the savings department.  and so will looking forward to the next tax season, eesh.  working so much is keeping my expenses down as i rarely have time to go out and buy frivolous things.  oh, except for my betsey dress.  but that was a deal!  and for an event!

6 - eat more balanced, regular meals.  this one gets a big, old fail.  i have only been for groceries since returning from south africa a few weeks ago (and once for a single celery stalk that cost $0.31) and have little to make a meal out of in my house.  so instead, i grab something on my way home from work.  this week i have had a vietnamese sub, souvlaki, won ton soup, left over pizza, and a frozen pizza i scrounged out of my freezer.  and this evening my snack was a can of mushrooms, which i know disgust some people, but they are one of my secret guilty food pleasures!

7 - sleep an appropriate amount.  this waxes and wanes.  some mornings i wake up feeling peppy and ready for the day and others, i feel like i could just scrunch down further under my duvet and turn my alarm off.  i spent most of sunday catching up on sleep/feeling rather hung over, but the larger problem is working 12 hours in a day and not having enough time at the end of it to unwind.  i have found that a few glasses of wine help!

8 - maintain my priorities.  although i am not exactly sure what my priorities are, i feel as though they are in check.  or at the least, they are not out of balance at the moment.  leaving calgary and canada behind always helps me to do this and being in south africa certainly did.  maybe the first step to really achieving this is to establish my priorities...

9 - keep asking for what i want.  well, soon i will be asking for the removal of support of an organisation that i don't agree with at work and that sort of counts.  i have been given a number wonderful things lately and i feel like right now, i don't need to ask for a thing.  instead, i feel like i have a lot to give.

lonesome?

things i have done alone:

• eaten in a restaurant
• visited museums
• seen a movie
• sipped coffees in cafes
• travelled on trains, planes, buses, and in cars
• ran some runs
• moved to new cities
• rode my bike
• travelled to new cities and countries on vacation

things i have not done alone:

• hiked
• gone out dancing
• attended a live music show

icy cold on a hot summer's eve

here i am again, sunday evening.  home alone.  and thrilled.  honestly.

one of my recent issues that has contributed to the wobbly moment has been the pressure i have felt to make the most of the summer months in calgary.  to take advantage of every opportunity to get outside and socialise.

and like last weekend, i feel as though i have managed quite fine.  a solid run followed by beers on the patio of one of the city's best pubs with far too many laughs between friends, a luxurious morning sitting on my own patio with coffee and a smoothie while reading my book, a saturday afternoon at the calgary folk fest listening to adorable boys play their guitars from the big rock beer gardens, and a sunday of huevos rancheros at my local breakfast spot with some mountain equipment co-op shopping in preparation for the juan de fuca trail next week and a walk in my community with an iced coffee.

but (and this is a rather large but that could alter the course of my next few weeks), i am currently sitting on my couch watching pvr'ed tv and am not cleaning my house or going for a run because i am icing my foot and ankle.  i have no idea what i have specifically done to it, but i know that it is a recurring injury that i normally keep in check with good running shoes, but wearing cowboy boots last weekend seems to have exacerbated the situation.  and standing in rubber flip flops yesterday was exceptionally painful and i am my worries continue to grow that this will not be cleared up by this friday, which is when i fly out to vancouver island.  eek.

cruise halong

things i did in halong bay

• ate squid, shrimp, crab, scallops, and fish caught fresh fromt he waters on which i sailed.  it doesn't get any tastier than that.
• on the topic of food, i ate all my meals with a chinese family who were wonderfully pleasant.  my western manners had to take a back seat amongst all the slurping, chewing, and burping though.
• more with the food (it really was very memorable!), our chef created table decorations out of food each night that we were encouraged to take photos of.
• i sipped countless iced coffees and halida and tiger beers on the top deck of our boat, the lagoon explorer.
• visited a photogenic fishing village of 40 families and 150 people who live, work, go to school, and play on the water.
• when i asked why there were so many dogs in the floating village and if they were for protection, the guide told me that they were pets and 'sometimes for eating.'  well, of course, thinks the silly white girl.
• had a great guide (clad in his Ramani shirt) who wasn't pushy, wasn't trying to be my friend, and who studied tourism at the uni in hanoi.  very professional.
• kayaked amongst the karsts and had a few thoughts of being all absolutely alone in the bay and how rare you get to have that experience.  i wasn't panicked or worried, just calm.
• took a tonne of photos.  even took my camera off the green idiot box setting and played around with what i learned in my photography course.
• thought and thought and thought and managed to set some goals for my future.  i've already set some pretty concrete goals for my 29th year, but i really didn't know where i wanted to be in the future.  i am still not 100% sure, but i have a better idea.
• got a titch of a sunburn on my shoulders and legs.  i broke the cardinal skin care rule - put sunscreen on even if it is overcast!
• slept soundly for 2 nights in my cabin as the gentle rocking kept me asleep and i woke up to the birdsong outside my open cabin window.
• i learned and observed how squid are caught and touched them when they were still alive to watch them release their ink.
• did i mention the food?!  my favs were the shrimp, tomato, and mushroom soup, the egg fried rice, the fish, the BBQed shrimp, and the pumpkin soup.  oh, and the crab, which the waitor needed to help me with as he expertly ripped the shell off it in one fluid motion.  i'm not sure if this is typical vietnamese cuisin, but my suspicion is that it is luxury vietnamese food because i can't imagine anyone eating that amount of protein unless you've signed up to the atkins philosophy of weight loss (and heart disease).
• collected fabulous shells, much larger than i've seen elsewhere.  i rinsed them in my bathroom sink to make sure i'm not bringing any critters back with me.
• crawled around a cave where 'foreigners' had broken off stalagtites (or mites?) to make into decorations to sell before the area was declared a UNESCO world heritage site, but the cave was still pretty neat and outside there were wild orchids growing and friendly dogs that i couldn't imagine eating!

what to do in ho chi minh city

this should really be called 'what i did in ho chi minh city' because all i can comment on is what i saw and did in my short time in the city.

but here goes nothing.

i visited reunification palace, where i joined an hour long tour that provided little more information than you could read on the placards, but it did give some context to the giant building and why it is important.  it used to be the presidential palace before the south lost the war and now it is a big, rather empty building showing the president's old stuff.  i am not quite sure if the communist guidebook outlines how to make museums really empty and less interesting than they could be, but cuba and vietnam seem to have been forming the same interpretation.

more interesting, as museums go, but not any more coherent and a hell of a lot more biased, is the war remnants museum.  where you can learn that all the atrocities committed during the vietnam war (or american war, as it called in these parts) were the americans' fault.  you can also learn that much of the world supported the north's struggle against the americans and that the north was innocent of war crimes.  i cannot imagine what it would be like to be an american in that museum.  but bill clinton visited hanoi a few years back so all is well between the two former enemies, i guess.

i shopped at a few great little spots in the dong khoi area, stopped for a pedicure and a foot massage (that miraculously included a head, back, and shoulder massage) after a long day's walking around the streets,  and i browsed the crammed rows of stalls at the ben thanh market, where there are knock-offs, t shirts, food stuffs, and knick knacks galore.

i popped into the notre dame cathedral during sunday morning mass and marvelled at the old post office next door and smiled at the hundreds of moto drivers hanging out outside of the church, waiting for their clients.

after hiring a cyclo driver, i risked my life on wild roundabouts with motorised vehicles to get to the jade emperor pagoda, where apparently it must be lucky to buy and then release baby turtles into the pond outside because there are thousands of turtles living in rather cramped conditions.

a few times a day, i enjoyed an iced coffee, sometimes black and sometimes with milk.  these things are truly amazing.

most of my time was spent wandering the streets with my camera and trying not to stare at the women selling anything and everything on the streets, wearing pointy straw hats, and facemasks or the motorbikes driving by me with trees, huge televisions, or entire families on them.

although i am really enjoying moving at my own pace and making all the decisions on what to see, do, eat, and drink, there have been so many times where i have wanted to turn to someone beside and make a comment about something i had seen in the city.  i suppose that is the trade off for travelling alone.  or planning a trip in two weeks and not being able to coerce anyone into joining me!

29 + 2

1 - conquer my anxiety, or at least win a few battles against it.  after a challenging month in february, i managed to do quite well in march on the anxiety front.  not much new to report apart from learning more about how to manage anxiety medicinally and risks involved in doing so.  i also learned that my life will likely never slow down to a pace where there is not something i won't be even just slightly anxious about, and god help me if it did.  i like being busy, i don't like being overwhelmed.  ebbs and flows.  such is life.

2 - be more thoughtful of others, especially around special events, days, occassions.  i wanted to find a most meaningful and thoughtful gift for the wedding that i went to last weekend, but i ended up with a gift card, which did not meet either of my criteria.  but i have recently ordered a book online to give to a friend who i know will enjoy it and i have another little something waiting in my home office to be popped into the post.  slow and steady will win this race.

3 - continue making visiting family and friends a priority.  my trip to visit my dad on vancouver island is all but booked and in that short hop over to bc i am also hoping to see a cousin.  i am making headway into plans to visit dc this summer, but that will also depend on others' schedules.  i have a standing invitation to visit israel that i could possibly take up, but for now, i am going to focus a little closer to home.  or at least stick to my own continent.

4 - nail down some sort of short-term career goals.  as i mentioned here yesterday, i have been a networking machine lately and the nice thing about being so busy this past week (so much so that i didn't know my own middle name) was that  i also didn't have to time to wonder, 'what next?' or 'what if?' or 'when?' and just got stuff done.  my thoughts are that the stuff i have completed recently is enough to keep me content where i am.

i could use a little more motivation in my day job, but whenever i have meetings with my bosses they seem completely content and satisified with my work so instead of caring if i am performing up to my own standards, i should just stop worrying or caring and concentrate on making progress in other parts of my life that could lead to more focused jobs in the future.  maybe.

5 - lay a nest egg to accompany my nest.  red light and parking tickets are really not helping my cause here.  dieter and i need to be a little more careful on the road.  i am going to mexico in two weeks' time with my family and i am thrilled that the price tag will be more than worth the fun and time we will have.  but other than that, i am trying to save my pennies for tax season.  then i will get myself properly sorted in the saving/investing/general finances zones.

6 - eat more balanced, regular meals.  i was running around the city last week and in doing so, ate a lot of crap.  delicious, but unhealthy food.  i have next to nothing in my fridge or pantry at home so the first step to addressing this current situation will be to go grocery shopping tonight and plan a menu for the coming days.

i also need to stop eating the Sausage, Egg & Cheese on English Muffin from Starbucks and any of the Manuel Latruwe croissants served at Phil & Sebastian...

this is becoming increasingly important as i am preparing to run a half marathon in early may and am playing around with my pre and post running meals and snacks.  so far, eating at least an hour before i run and eating something packed with energy seems to be getting me through with a few little pick-me-ups of some sort of processed gooey energy bites.  i am still confused as to what i should eat after a run though, some people say something packed with protein, others say something packed with carbs.  i generally just need to put something, anything in my mouth and then follow it with a latte.

7 - sleep an appropriate amount.  i sleep when i need to.  this sometimes includes napping.  in my napping outfit (just take off your pants and voila! napping outfit).  it also includes sleeping in when i have been out drinking tequila at weddings.  or getting up early when i need to get into my office for an early morning meeting.  still doing well.  but still not regular at all.

8 - maintain my priorities.  i was tested in this regard recently.  and i came out on top.  or so i think.  i have had a lot of responsibilities lately and the only thing that i felt i really dropped in the process was my punctuality and organisation as i was late for something that i swore started later than it did.

through my recent scheduling madness, i kept up my running, i kept up my socialising with my friends, and i kept up the communication with my family.  i took a step back from my day job with intention and judged where my time and energies were best spent before making any changes or decisions.  like i said, i think i did ok with this over the past month and i am hopeful that i have set myself up for some success in the coming months because of it.

9 - keep asking for what i want.  well, i haven't had to ask for things that i want lately.  but that could possibly be that i am not sure what it is that i want.  i am really good at asking when i do know that i want something (like a week long training provided by noraid in bangkok coming up in may that i am waiting to hear back on), but i am less inclined to give something to universe and ask for what i want that way.  lack of confidence to hand over control, i suppose.  but i have held on to my power without fail in 29 so there is something to be said for that.

wow, that was sort of a cryptic recap, sorry about that.  hope it is interesting reading, even if you have to do it between the lines.

way up

things really are looking up and here is proof:

• the calgary parking authority sent me a cheque.  i am not sure exactly why, but i'll take the $50!
• i gained a few new freckles on my morning run today.
• it is friday and i got to go for a morning run.
• freckles only come when there is sun!
• i used my free starbies drink coupon that they sent me for my birthday because i registered my starbucks card
• i searched through my drawers and found 4 totally wearable bikinis to take to mexico so no need to purchase a new one

all in a day's work

my day started out well, after picking up my newest addiction, a freshly brewed black coffee from my neighbourhood phil & sebastian coffee shop, i shocked a grizzled old police officer with my stories of drinking water in an idp camp in kenya, when i was convinced i was going to contract cholera.  at the same morning meeting, i was surprised to find out that the body shop in alberta has agreed to collect money for our organisation, which is fantastic, but even better, they brought me free stuff!  free stuff that is not even in the shops yet!  they clearly know the way to my heart.

my day proceeded at a nice clip, a productive afternoon at my day job and a hour long pep talk from my boss about doing a phd, finding ways to maintain my lifestyle (read: keep working where i am working part time to keep the money coming in), and how to make my own wikipedia page (she wants to get someone from her family on the case, which cracks me up).

after work, i got my hairs cut and coloured and now i look like a supermodel!  or at least my hair does.  according to my hair stylist.  i quite like it too.

and then i bought a red leather chair.  it might be a fake red leather chair.  but it is a great red chair that looks like leather and that is good enough for me!

i then attended a catholic women's group's meeting where i had to provide them with some information about trafficking and accept a donation to our organisation.  i sat and chatted with a nun who told me, in all her canadian wisdom, that 'people in fishing villages are like white indians.'  lord help her.  literally.

and the icing on the cake was when i found out that a guy i dated almost a year ago has moved a little closer to me.  as in, he now lives in my building!  we now share a parkade.  and i can never leave my nest to throw out my trash or drop off my recycling without worrying that i will run into him!  honestly, i have never heard of these things happening to other people.  sheesh.

my secret love for stats revealed

here i go again.  insisting that you read a book that i loved.  and this time, it is called Wisdom of Whores.  don't let the title put you off, nor the fact that Elizabeth Pisani is an epidemiologist who wrote a book about statistics and preventing the spread of disease.  it really is fascinating and part of that is due to Pisani's ability to call it like it is, humbly take credit for good work, but also to admit when she (and the development world, in many cases) was wrong.

the book talks about how our hiv prevention strategies as donor governments, un agencies, and ngos has typically been ass backwards.  instead of putting money toward the greatest transmitters of the disease, commercial sex workers and injecting drug users (especially those in prison), the enormous amounts of money that have been donated/lent by the american government, the canadian government, unaids, and the bill and melinda gates foundation, among so many others, has largely gone to useless programmes targetting women, children, and the general public, who are not the hotspots of transmission.

hiv is not really that infectious, if you look at the science.  we know how it is most easily transmitted (and it is not heterosexual sex) and who is transmitting it (with minor variations between countries and cultures), but we continue to spend money on saving the poor women and children.  oh, the women and children.  the poor, poor women and children.  who don't spread hiv nearly as often as others...

another fun fact that book came out with is that timor leste (where a good friend of mine lives and works, no doubt spending money given by the americans) had a grand total of 7 people who tested positive for hiv at the time of their independence (they were the first new state to be formed in this century), but the americans threw money at the country to deal with their 'hiv problem.'  7 people does not a problem make.  but oh my god, the poor women and children, what will they do if we do not address the impending epidemic hanging above their heads!

we have been force fed the idea that poverty will equal hiv transmission rates going through the roof and Pisani shatters that nonsense as well, demonstrating that being poor does not necessarily make you any more likely of contracting the virus, but it is how we fail to address the most common ways it is passed from one person to another (man to man, man to woman, woman to child, woman to woman...) in our programming that is failing millions of people.

for example (and there are many), the us will not allow any of its money to be spent on needle exchanges for drug users, the us claims to be a saviour of those living with aids by providing drugs (shipped from the states when other generics are avilable and do not need to refrigerated) but won't fund any programmes that keep sex workers safe rather than forcing them to leave the trade.

we continue to try and fit people into boxes of 'female sex worker,' 'positive man married to uninfected woman,' and 'sex buyer,' to name a few.  but in reality, people do not fit into these, or other, boxes very nicely and Pisani makes a great case for the changing of research and reporting to better reflect this, which could result in better prevention programmes that might actually work.

there are many problems as to why hiv has taken off in some regions of the world.  african governments refuse to acknowledge that there are men who have sex with men in their countries (ahem... kenya, nigeria, uganda) and their politicans speak out against proven science that hiv leads to aids and that you can cure aids with thorough washing and herbal supplements (yes, south africa and the gambia, i am looking at you...).  so while we are pouring money down the drain, and there is certainly a lot of money in the aids business thanks to bono, pepfar, and do gooders like myself, in providing education and voluntary testing to wives, mothers, and children, we have lost the plot on what really needs to be done.

and did you know that canada is among the worst offenders for tying our aid? it means that when we give money to other countries or organisations, we have an expectation that a certain percentage of it is spent on canadian goods, canadian services, and canadians themselves in the form of hiring our nationals.  i knew we were no aid angels, but i was surprised to see that we were behind only the us, the international pariah of untying aid activists.

i take no credit for these ideas.  i have thought them in varying shades of clarity and articulation, but Pisani really deserves credit for writing a book about statistics and science that is fascinating, infuriating, and inspiring in equal measure.  go out and read it (and her blog, now listed here), you will certainly be smarter for it.  or you can go out and buy a red ipod or a cup of starbucks red coffee...

sunday sense of accomplishment

i have had a full weekend and it was nice to have a weekend packed full of fun and rewarding things.  here is a list of all that i managed to accomplish:

• a date with a tall, accented gentleman
• ice fishing with my brother-in-law, where i proved not to be the best fisherwoman as i caught nothing (but neither did anyone else)
• my first double cheeseburger.  it was delicious.  totally worth all that saturated fat.  and, i'll admit it, maybe even better than a single cheeseburger.
• a lovely nap on my sister's couch
• an impromtu stir fry dinner for two
• a completed application to be called to work in emergencies, such as haiti
• an 8km run (even though i was only mentally prepared for a 7km run)
• shopping at mec for a new jacket (sale!), a new pair of mittens, a new pair of wool running socks, and a new running shirt (sale!).  not sure why i felt the need to clarify that all those items were NEW...
• a trip to buy new runners only to find the shop was closed
• coffee with my best friend of over 10 years
• coffee with a new friend who will undoubtedly be a friend for a long time
• shopping for 2 skirts at the gap that cost me all of $16, bring on the lucky lady deals!
• shopping for 3 shirts at jacob that cost me nothing as i had a gift card
• a quick trip to the grocery store for soup ingredients
• leek and potato soup
• dishes done
• a viewing of The Hangover, which did not make me laugh out loud.  not even once.  even though everyone and their dog claims it is hilarious.  verdict?  not hilarious.
• reading research on 'sex buyers,' otherwise known as johns.  for work.  yes, i read this stuff for work.  if you are interested, you can also read it online.

and now, to tackle the ever-growing pile of laundry that is on my floor, both dirty and clean.  and then maybe a bath.  or a read.  or an early night.  because that is how i roll (or how i am trying to).

pure ignorance

today, i am exhausted. like 3 lattes and a sugary sweet pastry to try and wake up tired. so tired, in fact, that i couldn't even muster the strength to argue (i mean, discuss) with a coworker today who told me that they do not vote and never will because they think anyone who runs for office is selfish. or their party is selfish.

but honestly, i might not have had the energy to tell this person they were wrong on a number of levels, but i sure do now and man, are they ever wrong!

it irritates me to no end when people paint all 'politicians' with the same brush and write them off as being liars, selfish, arrogant, ignorant, or altogether useless. the problem with that thinking (and there are many) is that while some of them quite possible are, it all comes down to just being an excuse for not getting off your own duff and casting a vote. or getting off your arse and reading a newspaper to figure out which party is which and who stands for what.

and as someone who has participated in the democratic system on a few different levels, i want to smack these people who cast off all those involved in politics in the forehead and tell them that like politicans or not, they still make the rules and still get a vote in parliament/legislature and those are rules that you and i have to live by, whether we like them or not. so you might as well put your ballot in the box and do that small part to participate in our democracy.

and don't even get me started on those who would die (and do) to live in a democracy like ours!!

tweet tweet

here are a few things i would have tweeted (if i was a tweeter) this past week while in san francisco:

i just witnessed san franciscan road rage: ‘in front of you, fag!’ followed by ‘woah, lesbian bitch!’

just realised that i carry no less than 10 lip glosses around with me when i had to put them in a plastic bag to go through airport security.

i am in heaven. otherwise known as the petite section of banana republic.

i just ate mexican food that nearly made me cry. it still might.

wow, that’s gay.

i am not sure if my bartenders play on my team, but they keep pouring me wine.

just rode an elevator that i’m pretty sure doubles as the homeless’ toilet.

totally rocking the dress/pant combo because i got too cold and had to buy a pair of pants.

going into an unmarked club down an alleyway in an industrial part of a city i do not know. totally safe.

sitting on a balcony in an old victorian house drinking pink champagne overlooking the city and the bay. magical.

in a matter of 5 minutes saw a man preaching abstinence and telling me that jesus loves me and asked to sign a petition overturning prop 8.

just ordered my coffee in spanish, by accident.

in the castro, feels like a pilgrimage. and i am not even a gay man.

iced coffee with mint in the castro with my san franciscan tour guide/bartender/date.

i could live in the fitting rooms of antropologie and come out at night to admire all their wares.

no frye boots in my size. shame.

red wine + clam chowder + view of the ocean + cute hispanic servers = why don’t i live here?

some streets smell considerably better than others. like this one.

seeing black homeless people is strange to me. homeless people in calgary don’t tend to be black, do they. interesting observation.

yowsa! forgot about the terror alert level announcements at the airports. no wonder everyone’s paranoid.

the cure for a hangover = panna cotta + fish tacos + heirloom tomatoes + blue bottle coffee.

organic raspberries are not necessary sweet raspberries.

i think i love facials. and magi, who did mine.

when he asked if he could give me another croissant with my purchase, who was i to say no?

even the people working in the retail shops seem happy to be helping you!

is my flight delayed because my pilot is trying to floss a seed out of his teeth?!

food links if you find yourself in san francisco

i finally got myself up and running yesterday and battled the hangover with a mixture of starbucks coffee (where is a t ho's when you need it?), a panna cotta from miette (it was divine and they gave me a dollar bill back when i returned the jar, which made me smile), two mahi mahi fish tacos from taylor's automatic refresher (oh, i forgot how good real mexican food really is), 3 organic heirloom tomatoes purchased from the farmer's market, and a drip coffee from the bluebottle coffee co.

all of these delights (sans starbies) were found in the ferry building and if you are going to come to san francisco, i must insist that you get yourself to this place to eat your way through it. even if you do not have a hangover. there is a man who sells nothing but mushrooms! and a real cheese shop! and produce that made my insides warm! i do love a market.

continuing on with my theme of food, i went out for passable indian food last night and then to an indy club called popscene to see a band called music for animals. it was good. the beer continued to disappoint, but the company was fun and meeting the band afterwards made me feel sort of like a rock star. or more like a groupie.

and then this morning (hangover free, yippee!), i tried to get to mama's for their famous brunch, but was scared away by the length of the queue and happened upon a gem of an italian cafe called cafe divino that serve some of the best eggs benedict i've had along with an excellent cup of coffee.

and i still have one more evening, an entire day, and another morning to finish eating my way through san francisco!

brain on skull

i insist that you get over to whoopee and read her latest post. it almost made me forget that my brain is sitting on the inside of my skull from drinking red wine last night.

i ordered just one glass and then there i was sitting politely as the bartender continued to fill my glass and then the next thing i knew, i was shooting tequila (really good tequila too!) with the two bartenders at a restaurant called LuLu in san francisco...

now i must find a coffee, lots of water, and some diner that will serve me greasy food within a few minutes' walking distance so i can get on with my exploring of this fabulous city.

first day in the bay city

i love this place! and to save time writing and instead do important things like sleep so that i am rested up for another busy day tomorrow, here you have a bulleted list:

• i've only walked through one cloud of marijuana smoke since arriving
• the BART transit system is rather easy to navigate and the trip from the airport to my hotel was effortless, which is always a relief (but who puts carpet in public transit?!)
• there are a lot of good looking dudes in san fran and most times, i have no idea whose team they play on
• i had a delectable cupcake from kara's cupcakes in ghiradelli square, where i also got to sample some of the famous ghiradelli chocolate
• dinner was lovely (wild salmon, asparagus, mushroom, tomato, and artichoke heart pasta) and gave me another dairy stomach ache (this dairy thing is really getting out of hand)
• there are A LOT of hills in this city
• the twirly whirly road is really cool
• when i needed a caffeine injection to get me up and down those hills, i stopped at boulange de polk for a chocolate croissant and a cappuccino, it was magnificent
• there are some really cute little boutiques in the russian hill/nob hill area of the city and i know i would be a frequent visitor if i lived here
• because the flight this morning was westjet's inaugural flight to sfo, i got a lot of free stuff. who knew that westjet has their own lip chap?
• i forgot that american beer sort of tastes like water until i ordered a pint. i could probably drink 10 of those to match my 5 at home!
• my bird's nest of hair compared to many of the people on the streets of san francisco
• there is an anthropologie within 3 minutes walking distance from my hotel (which is also great!), which could be potentially dangerous

sass-travaganza: a photo essay in reverse

here are some of my favourite photos from the sass-travaganza. for some reason, i cannot reverse the order in which they appear, so just start from the bottom if you really want to get the chronological sense of the trip.

my favourite parts of the trip included:

- the retarded goat (ok, let it be known that the word 'retarded' is totally not a part of the vocabulary of either me or my sister, but there was this stupid goat that wouldn't get out of the road when we were driving up to the trailhead and it was sort of funny to use a totally politically incorrect word. and then continue to use it for the rest of the day, knowing it was so, so wrong)

- the label maker! who knew such an organisational tool could be so much fun?! oh wait, me.

- figuring out that ha ling must be the chinese translation of 'chinaman' since chinaman's peak was renamed ha ling peak (again, with the politically incorrectness)

- the no-name brand camelback, otherwise known as the teat (i know, we are such classy ladies)

- the best snow angel my sis had ever seen!

- my wipe outs and my sister killing herself laughing rather than asking if i was ok

- the best cheese burger and salad EVER

- my sister's costume change and the photos i have of her ironing her dress in her panty (which i kindly did not post!)

- the inappropriate conversations overheard by the other hikes (whoops!)

- admiring the majestic peaks in all their glory

- the best brunch buffet EVER, oh sweet jesus, that food was good eating. and that coffee. oh my, that coffee

a busy week behind and ahead

here are some things i have to say:

• have you seen the movie The Boy in the Striped Pajamas? it is really good. i watched it with my bro and we agreed that it should be shown in high schools when they study the second world war and the holocaust. this movie is great and shows a side of the war that we haven't seen much of - a german soldier's family that lives near a concentration camp and from the perspective of a 10 year old boy.
• i bought my guidebook for san francisco and have started to read it. i cannot wait to get there! and the fact that i am going alone isn't so daunting when i think of all the places i'd like to see, the walking i would like to do, and the photos i would like to take (although anyone wishing to join me is more than welcome!)
• both my presentations went really well this week and i think i have a host of new friends resulting from them, which is great. i have 2 coffee dates with potential new friends coming up and another presentation at a high school next week.
• i slept for 15 hours yesterday and it was all because i had what i think is called a migraine. i have never had something like this before, but i am convinced the universe was trying to tell me something in making me stay in bed for so long. it was weird.
• i have 2 dates next week! and 2 more in the pipeline. it must be spring.
• i seem to have hurt my shoulder, the one that is lacking in the cartiledge department. blech. it feels like i should put it in a sling.
• my sis and i went for an 8km run last night and it was awesome. only 6km more and i can convince her to run around the glenmore reservoir with me (but no wrong turns this time!). my new shoes felt like pillows with great grips on them, which i am sure helped me up those hills.
• i am ready for the sass-travaganza in banff this weekend!

it's all true

borrowed from this lady, here are 10 things about me that you may not have already known.

1 - most people are surprised to learn that by nature, i am an introvert and shy, sometimes painfully. although i do enjoy public speaking.

2 - things i love include writing, learning new cities, q tips, david suzuki, the smell of scotch tape, earl grey tea, chocolate fudge cake from nairobi java house, kofi annan, alberta beef, barack obama's smile, the smell of pine trees, music that almost makes you cry, going out for breakfast even though i don't like most breakfast foods, airports, novels, daytimers, creme brule, medium or dark roast black coffee, that feeling that you get two days after you've used your muscles, french red wine, tulips, buying clothes, and receiving mail both electronic and snail. that list is not exhaustive.

3 - i could tell my sister anything. while i wouldn't tell my brothers anything, i could be anyone or do anything with them.

4 - my recent love life reads like a soap opera drama. do you know anyone who actually went to an airport expecting someone to arrive only to find out they had never bought a ticket for the flight? well, now you do.

5 - i have really big feet for my size. i would quite like to trade them for a more user-friendly pair.

6 - i want to be famous. but not in the celebrity way. in the way that i am known for something. and i google myself regularly.

7 - my newest canadian hero is louise arbour. she will soon be the executive director of the International Crisis Group.

8 - i am neither a cat person nor a dog person, i am both. and i don't think you should have to choose between them. my dog has one eye and my cat sleeps on my bed every night. my brother says that although you are never supposed to talk about a girl's weight, my cat seems to have lost her waist line in recent years. that is also true.

9 - blueberries are my favourite berry.

10 - if i won the lottery, i would go back to uni and study my little heart out. i would also travel around the world, staying in the cheapest as well as the most luxurious hotels i could find. i'd drink san pelligrino exclusively and provide numerous microfinance loans to people in canada and abroad.