a little stuffed, but doing well otherwise

how was 2011 been for you?

i have only one thing to complain about so far.  and it is this damn cold that i can't seem to shake.  it began in my sinuses, moved to my chest before christmas where it stole my voice and turned me into someone who sounded like they'd worked in a smoking lounge for 30 years, and now it is back to my sinuses and my head.  maybe it is a new cold (not sure how exactly this medical science thing works when it comes to cold viruses) or if it just won't leave, but it sure is frustrating.  a lot of sneezing, a lot of congestion, and not a lot of drainage.

other than this damn cold, i am enjoying 2011 so far.  i woke up on new years morning with an email saying that i have been selected to attend training in new york city on gender based violence programming and coordination in emergencies and i am really looking forward to learning more about the field, meeting some interesting people, and exploring the big apple for the first time.

and, as always, i am hoping that some sort oracle emerges to tell me what i should doing with my life, where i should live, and what i want to be when i grow up.  hopefully this training and this trip will help me do that.  but the idea that i have something on the professional and personal agenda is enough to tie me over at the moment

oh yeah, and it will also be a good way to celebrate my upcoming 30th birthday!

a reminder to myself and others

this ted talk by Jonathan Haidt on the moral roots of liberals and conservatives is a good reminder that when we break down our differences into a simple matrix of what 'we' believe and how 'they' are wrong, we all loose.

i often need this reminder, perhaps more than most people.  especially today when i received an email from a volunteer telling me about the trip her church is about to take to bring their youth group to a developing country and 'visit with the victims of trafficking staying in a rescue centre' as an educational opportunity.

blah.  i may not be right all the time, but i feel quite justified in saying that reeks of another form of exploitation and although it is not as traumatic as the first likely was, it will still have lasting impacts on a macro level.  ew.

it started with a seed

over 4 years ago (and i remember this because it was just before the last world cup), i went to london with my bf at the time and my parents, who were visiting from canada.  we rented a sedan, took ourselves for a holiday of live theatre and sightseeing, and visited portobello market.  and in that lovely market, we bought some seedy bread.  and one of those seeds got stuck between my teeth.

like, really stuck.  stuck so badly that for a few days i had a constant dull ache on that side of my mouth.

eventually, with my mad skills in the flossing department, i got that seed out and there would always be a larger space between those two teeth than any of my others.

i adapted to this by carrying around my favourite kind of floss to make sure i thoroughly floss after eating anything that had a tendency to get stuck in there.  apples, beef, anything stringy.  gross, but i never got the 'floss more' lecture from the dentist because i became mildly obsessed.

and when my sis and bro-in-law and i were sitting down to a cold beer and a bite to eat in victoria last weekend before boarding our plane back to calgary, i noticed that i had a hole in my tooth.  a hole in my tooth!  i had my sister investigate it (yes, in the restaurant) and we agreed that it was most likely a cavity, which seemed inevitable.  i made sure to get in to the dentist the very next day and when they told me that my tooth was actually broken and that they suggested repairing it with a crown, i braced myself for the freezing, the drills, and the awfulness of the dentist in general and went for it.

but being frozen that evening really threw me for a loop and put me in a bit of a funk that lasted through the week.  the miserable weather and confusing text message dating certainly didn't help, but the invasion of having someone's hands in my mouth and not being able to feel half of my face for a number hours seems to have had quite a psychological impact.  and it wasn't nice.

i dug myself out of the funk that week and had a lovely weekend full of beers on patios, hikes in kananaskis, and a patio-hopping fundraising event full of food, wine, and good friends.

but that was not what was on my mind later in the evening after i was at the dentist, as i was on the phone with a call centre in india, half my face frozen, having an ugly cry because i didn't know the difference between a modem and a router.  but the nice, young fellow on the phone wasn't bothered and sorted my internets while i felt sorry for myself.  but i bet that if he were located in canada, working at midnight, and having to put up with a whiney mess like me, he would not have been nearly as patient!

orphange tourism

if you are interested in making my skin crawl and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, all you simply must do is tell me that you or someone you know are planning on heading to africa to volunteer at an orphanage.

for quite some time, i wasn't sure why exactly this thought upset me so much, but recently i have read some people's clearly articulated thoughts that seem to take the confusing train wrecks of information in my head and put it more succintly than i have been able to.

• Saundra Schimmelpfennig at the Huffington Post, predicting the haiti orphan rescue
• And at her blog Good Intentions Are Not Enough in the posts does funding orphanages create orphans? and hug-an-orphan vacations
• Tales From the Hood had a good post about how to choose who to support and why not to support orphanages

the only thing that i can add to their insightful commentary is that i successfully convinced someone not to go to africa to volunteer the other day and instead to simply go as a tourist to appreciate the gorgeous flora and fauna, meet some interesting people, and take photos along the way.  just like tourists to other places regularly do.

so that's something.

commit, already!

have i mentioned that i have a cold?  a cold that won't commit and comes and goes and sometimes, like this morning, i wake up with a stuffed up nose, constant sneezes, and a nose that needs to be blown at regular intervals.  it has been here for 2 weeks now and i really wish it would either knock me on my ass or go away already.

but it hasn't stopped me from having a lovely saturday morning.

i have caught up on pvr'ed episodes of my television boyfriend's show, dirty jobs.

i have used my new egg poaching pan that was a christmas gift to make eggs benedict (but without hollandaise because i was not that organised to have the proper ingredients).

i have hung hangers for my aprons so they have a space in my nest.

i have done my ironing.

i have spoken to a local theatre about hosting a film screening.

i have had a chat with an old high school friend who wants to get into international development work.

pretty productive so far, even with a kleenex permanently attached to my nose...

flying colours

well, i passed my allergy test and i am officially allergy free.  so what causes my constant congestion and ickiness?  dust, dryness, the environment.  none of which i can get rid of.  the allergist suggested that i move to hawaii.  hmpf.  as positive as this is, i really did want an answer to my congestion, but i suppose not having a problem is good news.  and it means that sinus rinses are the way forward.

he also checked my lungs for asthma and i scored 100% on all three measures that they test for.  he said that that rarely happens, which is music to a type a personality's ears.  all that running, never smoking a cigarette in my life, and not being overweight are sure paying off!

just go away already!

i had the worst, neverending dream last night. i even woke up at one point and went back to sleep and the damn bad dreams continued.

it all came down to having to relive the experience of having someone choose to go and fight in a war thousands of miles away rather than proceed with the plans of life that we had made. but this time, i was there and then had to go and live alone in germany, where i just did not want to be.

it just makes me wonder when this whole ugly experience will stop rearing its ugly head and just let me get on with my life. blech. one, big, gross blech that took me hours to overcome today. just put a damper on my day and i had a hard time shaking it.

autumn is here

and how do i know?

• blustery winds
• my skin is drying out
• my congestion is getting worse
• the morning air is crisp
• there are taber corn signs everywhere
• i need to carry a hoodie or a jacket with me when i go out

beginning to understand why it's called a pandemic

my newest question for the universe is: how much snot can one body produce?!

so gross, but i have been sick with what seems to be some sort of manifestation of the piglet flu that i picked up, along with all my great buys, in thailand before returning home. it has been over a week since this cold started and it still does not seem to be improving one lick.

i think i am feeling better so i get up and do something, only to end up right back on the couch within a few hours.

my symptoms include: congestion (as always), aches, intermittent fever, lack of energy, chest tightness and inability to get a full, deep breath, and constantly plugged ears and muffled hearing.

sounds great, doesn't it?

i was banished from my office and told to work from home so as not to infect anyone and although i have toyed with going to the doctor, i was told by one such professional that there is nothing they can prescribe for the h1n1 flu, if that is what this is, apart from rest and isolation.

and this shouldn't have been a surprise as i was mildly concerned i would be quarantined when arriving in canada, hacking and sneezing, which earned me some skeptical and accusatory looks from the canadian customs agents.

so here i am, on a gorgeous afternoon, stuffy and snotty and hoping that i regain my health so that i can enjoy a hot, sunny albertan summer weekend at the cabin.

i am never eating ice cream again

really, i mean it this time.

ick.

preoccupied with sickness

i should be writing about how AMAZING my sister's wedding was, how she looked like a princess in her dress, how much fun we had throughout the whole day, and how happy i am that everything worked out perfectly to result in the best wedding ever.

or i could be writing about how excited i am to be going to the caribbean tomorrow to lay on a beach, drink cold beer, and read books all day.

but instead, i am on day three of a sickness that is taking over my life at the moment. fever, congestion, shivers, clammy, achey, coughs, and general ickiness. blah.

a dairy experiment

anyone who has lived with me knows i am often congested. i remember having 'allergies' since i was a kid but have never been tested for any. i also recall being young and never really enjoying milk unless it was really very cold. and when i was old enough to make decisions for myself, i stopped drinking it all together. since then, i have also noticed that when i drink anything milky or eat something creamy, i tend to become more congested and hack a lot more, which is as lovely as it sounds.

and although i love them, if i eat a dairy queen blizzard, 9 times out of 10, i will have a wicked stomach ache immediately afterwards. i am pretty sure my body has been telling me something to which i should be paying more attention.

i got a cold before christmas and am still fighting the remnants of it. or at least what i think is the last of the bug, but maybe it is just the general congestion that i have become so used to. either way, i am really quite fed up with being all stuffed up with all the snot and mucous that lives in my sinus cavities.

so i am going off dairy for 7 days to see if i feel any different. i did a little research on the www this morning (so you know it is true) and it seems that the doctors are out on whether or not dairy causes congestion, but some believe that the protein casein causes some bodies to produce histimines which then stimulate your body to overproduce mucous. which makes a lot of sense to me.

and these effects can take over 24 hours to present after having consumed dairy, so i could essentially be continually charging up my body to be snotty without even realising it. ew.

i did make an appointment with an allergist to figure this out once and for all (i hope), but that won't be until may so until then i am going to keep relying on the internet and self diagnosing! and in true blogging form, i will keep the trip dub posted on my mucous situation.

this is just gross

NAIROBI, 15 January (IRIN) - As Kenya counts the human and material cost of the political violence, hospitals are reporting an increase in reported rapes during the immediate post-election period, spurring the government and health organisations to find ways to treat these cases as well as protect the displaced from further incidents of sexual violence.
"In the first two days of the violence, 56 people were treated for rape and admitted; there are so many other victims back in the slums who have not received any medical attention," Lucy Kiama, chief nurse at the Nairobi Women's Hospital, which specialises in sexual violence, told IRIN.
She added that the number of rape survivors seeking treatment at the facility had doubled during the violence. Many women who came to the hospital, she added, reported that there were many more in the slums who had failed to seek treatment because of security reasons or fear of stigmatisation.
Political unrest erupted in many parts of Kenya on 30 December 2007, immediately after the Electoral Commission of Kenya declared incumbent President Mwai Kibaki the winner of the election held on 27 December. Kibaki's main challenger, Raila Odinga, rejected the result and claimed he won the election, alleging it was rigged in Kibaki's favour.
The UN estimates the violence has led to the displacement of 250,000 people across the country, many of whom are living in hastily assembled camps. Health workers have also expressed concern that women and children remain at risk of sexual attacks in these poorly protected camps, especially given that the referral systems that would exist normally to handle sex attacks have broken down.
"Women and children were raped, men and boys as well . it is still taking place in the camps because of the large numbers of displaced people," said Florence Gachanja, national programme officer for the UN Population Fund, UNFPA.
According to Jeanne Ward, an international consultant on gender-based violence, it is crucial that protective measures such as lighting and separate latrines for men and women be set up in the camps to prevent further attacks.
She noted that in emergency situations where the infrastructure breaks down, women and girls tend to be put at increased risk of violence, particularly sexual violence.
"These sexual attacks may be crimes of opportunism, where people take advantage of the breakdown of normal protection mechanisms to rape, or in cases where the war pits one group against another, such as ethnic violence, the rapes may be targeted at one particular group of women and girls," she said, noting that in Kenya's case, it was too early to tell whether the rapes were gratuitous or targeted, although investigations had begun.
"Sexual violence has immediate consequences for the physical and psychological health of the survivor; for instance, they need to have access to post-exposure prophylactic [PEP] kits to prevent them from contracting HIV," she added. "Where people are displaced, it is vital that they know where to go in case they are attacked and that they receive psycho-social post-trauma care."
Taking action
The government and NGOs have begun to respond to the situation, with UNFPA providing PEP kits to medical centres through the Kenya Red Cross Society and other NGOs, and larger hospitals setting up satellite centres in badly affected areas to provide a minimum service to the injured, including people who have suffered sexual attacks.
The Nairobi Women's Hospital, in collaboration with the Psychological Association of Kenya, has opened counselling centres in the slum areas of Mathare, Huruma and Kibera, the areas worst-affected by violence in the capital.
The hospital has appealed to counsellors to volunteer their services for victims of sexual violence among internally displaced persons in other parts of the country, especially in the Rift Valley areas of Eldoret, Timboroa, Nakuru, Burnt Forest and Limuru, and the cities of Kisumu and Mombasa, which were also severely affected by the violence.
Jane Onyango, executive director of the Federation of Women Lawyers in Kenya, cautioned that gender issues must not be forgotten when seeking solutions to Kenya's current crisis.
"In situations such as this, the legal process is hard as it is often difficult for most of the women to identify their abusers," she said. "There is a need for greater collaboration among institutions dealing with women's issues," she added.
Onyango said the federation planned to visit the violence hotspots to assist in the process of conflict resolution and in counselling internally displaced people.
According to Ward, despite the current difficulties, Kenya has addressed the issue of sexual violence and has mechanisms in place that make it better able than many of its neighbours to handle the current situation.
"Nevertheless, there will be a need to create a multi-sectoral response to ensure that beyond addressing the health needs of survivors of sexual violence, security issues are dealt with, the legal process is streamlined and the police have the capacity to handle the cases in a safe and ethical manner," she said.

10 shillings

2 of the things i dislike about my hometown of calgary include the dry weather and the prevalence of nickelback songs on the radio. some of you may not know this, but nickelback and their lead singer make me break out in a rash.

and who would have thought that i would find the same ultra dryness that is doing great damage to my delicate skin AND the beautiful songs of nickelback in nairobi? i have been listening to the local radio station and i almost fell out of my chair when i heard the sweet, sweet sound of chad kroeger's voice. barf.

but one thing i do love about this city is the price of avocados! about 15 cents each. no matter how big they are, the same price - 10 shillings. i also love that the currency here is called shillings.

hurts for a reason

today was an eventful day.

i had breakfast with a friend i had not seen in years. and screwed up when i was trying to order huevos rancheros. i speak one other language besides english and that is spanish. and i screw up the one single spanish thing on the menu and look like someone trying to sound cool when they pronounce the one spanish thing on the menu with the appropriate accent and pronunciation, but i screw it up disastrously. i don't even remember what i said but by the time i got it out properly, i was too far gone to redeem myself with appropriate pronunciation, let alone accent. the ranch eggs were tasty and the visit was even better.

i was interviewed by my high school's newspaper about, well, my life. which i don't think is terribly exciting as it is, well, my life. but the interviewer was great and excited about her own life after high school, which reminded me that i have seen and done a lot since i left those halls.

and speaking of those halls. i had to use the bathroom while i was there (because i love to stay hydrated, so much so that i have used bathrooms in the strangest of places) and i decided to stay out of the bathrooms frequented by students and use the ones at the front of the school. now i am pretty sure the last time i was in those bathrooms was when i was throwing up because i drank too much at a school dance and my then-boyfriend, who was equally inebriated, was peering over the stall to ask if i was ok as two girls (one wearing a pink feather boa) got in a fight behind me and the principal came in to break it up not seeming to notice me barfing in the toilet. talk about a full circle moment.

then i went to get a blood test. then i passed out (but my mom thinks it is nicer to say 'fainted'). i was sitting there, trying to breath deeply and do my best not to pass out and then i remember the nurse asking me to hold the cotton ball to my arm (never a good idea when the person charged with said activity is turning white and keeling over) then asking me if i was ok and i said no. then i woke up with two new (and it must be said, entirely more friendly than the first) nurses yelling at me. i had to lay down while they put cold clothes on my forehead and i tried not to cry. something about fainting and puking that both make me cry.

but then it was all worthwhile as i took myself for coffee (new maple macciato at starby's - meh), started reading a new book (Vinegar Hill, as i anxiously await the arrival of A Suitable Boy - it is about time that i conquer that beast), then went shopping with my sister. and let me tell you people, NOW is a good time to shop, lots of sales and pretty things that i do not need but purchased anyways. but what i did need was to price adjust my last two weeks worth of old navy purchases, for savings over $30 and pants for less than (<) $10. woo who. it almost made up for the passing out. but not quite.

the day was rounded out with a viewing of grey's anatomy and er. what is with me passing out whilst having blood taken then watching hospital shows? an enigma, i tell you. but maybe things do hurt for a reason. so cheesey, so clique, so primetime television, but i love it nonetheless.

guest columnist

Sara says:
ok, so this story is an only in canada/calgary

I was driving home today and something catches my eye.

this guy has a dead deer in his flat bed strapped to a quad driving down glenmore

a deer, seriously on the road, in the city

I was trying to get closer and check it out better

and then school buses are all around and I am thinking oh no, the kids are going to think it is a reindeer

it was gross and funny at the same time, I just kept thinking, only in calgary I am sure