what a weekend

with weekends like the past two i have had in calgary, i could be convinced never to leave the city.

my weekend started a little early with a shopping trip that ended with new sweaters, a dress i can wear to a stampede festivity this july, tights that remind me eerily of my figure skating days, new fashionable belts, a few little things for my future niece, and a feather for my hair.

i got to try out the new kol3 in kensington for vietnamese crepes and iced coffees with a good friend i met through my current job.  and we followed it up with a cold beer at molly malone's to continue our conversation about all things relationships, career directions, house shopping, women's rights, office gossip...  not sure that we solved the world's problems, but we certainly had a great time catching up.

saturday morning was chillier than i had hoped, with spring shyly poking its head around the corner this past week, so after running back into my house to add a layer, i headed out for a lovely morning run.  even though there was some pesky ice on the pathways, i had a great run paired with non-stop chatting with a dear friend facing some pretty daunting challenges at the moment.  more listening than talking on my part, but that was just fine.

i headed out to my neighbourhood pub on saturday evening with a new chum from work to see a local band play.  the band was pretty medium, but the company and laughs were pretty awesome.  getting a taxi home at the end of the night when the snow started falling, not so awesome.

and today, a day of phone calls and catching up with friends far away and family nearby was followed by some comfort cooking.  after stirring and stirring and adding and adding liquid, i created a most delicious risotto paired with homemade pesto that i whipped up in my food processor (without cutting my finger this time).  i needed some time in the kitchen to relax and forget momentarily about the state of the world, which was weighing heavily on my shoulders after following the stories of cote d'ivoire, japan, libya, yemen, bahrain, and haiti on twitter and the news this past week.  sometimes having a constant stream of information can work against your sanity and sense of contentment and if there is a silver lining in this cloud it is that i am getting better at recognising when that is happening to me so i can take a step back.  and that is what i did tonight with fantastic results and a lot of leftovers!

the need for distance and perspective is at the heart of my intentions in giving up impatience for lent.  it has been a good practice thus far and i have not only recognised when i begin to get antsy or worrisome about my future, but have reminded myself not to allow that anxiety to creep in and that if i really want to worry, i can do it in a few short weeks.  reshaping my thinking around my future and how i can get so anxious about it has also helped me appreciate what i do have.  the grass might be greener for me elsewhere, but it is pretty damn green where i am right now as well.  and having a weekend full of pretty wonderful friends is part of that.

wherein i use a few caps

ever since i woke up on january 1, 2011, i have felt a change a'coming.  i have no idea what it will be nor when it will come, but i feel ready for it.

going to new york inspired me to get my arse in gear to get out into the world again and find something else to to for a little while.  to not be afraid to leave the comforts of my home town again and to explore a little more, knowing that there is a whole lot of awesome to come home to anytime i choose.  the beauty of an economy fuelled by a commodity-driven industry that is on the up once again, i suppose.

i cleaned out my closets, giving away a bunch of stuff and consigning some others (wherein i chose not to consign my clothes at one shop because they give all the unsold merchandise to an 'orphanage in africa' and couldn't answer me which of the 50+ countries they were referring to nor why they made the orphanage pay for the shipping of the clothes to their magical unnamable part of the continent).  i updated my vaccines, passing out in the process, so that if i feed the urge to up and leave to a yellow feverish place, i will be covered (in fact, the reason i am up right now, even though it is midnight and i have a week full of early morning and it is the day of the year that daylight savings kicks your ass is because i forgot i have to take a live typhoid vaccine on an empty stomach and well, my stomach is not empty.

i have also decided to give up impatience and self doubt for lent.  yes, i know this is not in the typical spirit of lent, but i needed a time frame and well, it was conveniently timely (is saying conveniently timely redundant??).  i am reminding myself that everything has worked out thus far and will continue to do so, in a time frame that is never going to end or stop and as i have always said, there is no finish line and the whole success is not a destination thing (i think you can find some lame quote from me on the interwebs about that, actually).

i am trying to remember that an opportunity will come my way.  no sense in worrying or fretting that time is passing me by (I AM GETTING OLDER, OH MY GOD, I AM BEHIND... you get the idea).  if the past two years are any indication, opportunities find me and i do my best to put myself right in their path as best i can.  i feel as though i have done that now and so now i just wait.

but waiting is not so bad.  last week i braved the -20* temperatures and went to the joshua radin, cary brothers, laura jansen show and it was amazing.  as i said on twitter, it made me want to fall in love and break up again and again.  well, not really, but they sure did make it sound poetic and romantic and wonderful and heart wrenching.  and a concert at the former silver dollar action centre?  not so bad, especially if you like a little greasy pizza with your handsome singer/songwriters.

i followed that up with so many pints, breakfasts, coffees, and dinners with so many inspiring, intelligent, and hilarious people this past week that i was pleasantly reminded that i am surrounded by a community of people and i have a few greatest fans out there, which is always a nice boost to the confidence.

oh, and i ate at boxwood, which was a chorizon/polenta delight, had breakfast at wake in kensington, where they brew a strong cup of coffee and make mean eggs benedict, and had a perfectly poured latte at vendome cafe.  so if you are in the city, go try those newcomers to the ever expanding culinary/coffeehouse scene around these parts.

not that i'm counting

3 sleeps until my sister arrives.
4 sleeps until the rest of the fam arrives.
5 sleeps until i can eat chocolate.

habari ya leo? nzuri sana, asante

juzi nilienda mkahawa kwa rafiki yangu. tulikunywa kahawa na chai na tulisema halafu tulirudi nyumbani na nilisoma kitabu na nilikula vita vingu. rafiki yangu anarudi nyumbani na tulikula pamoja na rafiki yake. yeye anakaa pamoja rafiki yangu na mimi.

jana nilienda kazi lakini sipendi kufanya kazi. nilipenda kulala jioni lakini nilihitaji kuenda kifaransa. sijui kifaransa na sipendi kusema kwa sababu sitaki kifaransa. halafu nilikuja nyumbani na nilipika mboga na nilikula na nilikunywa maji na chai. nilijifunza kiswahili. ninafikiri ninajua vitu vingi na ninafikiri nitaenda sokoni na nitanunua chakula kama samaki, nyanya, maharagwe, mayai, mvinyo, matunda, avakado, dhania, na pile pile. sitanunua koko kwa sababu lent.

asubuhi nilitembea kwa kazi kwa sababu karibu na nyumba yangu. nina vita vingu kufanya kama kutembelea na kufikiri na kuenda chakula cha mchana. jioni nitacheza mpira na kuoga.

kesho tutapika keki pamoja tangawizi na kwa hivyo sitalala kwa sababu nina tatu vingu kufanya. rafiki yangu ataenda na atatembelea pamoja mimi. yeye atasaidia kutakataka halafu tutalala.

i want a hippopotamus for christmas

i got out of the big stinky city this past weekend and headed to lake naivasha (where lots of the fresh flowers sold in europe are grown) for some hiking, mountain biking, and camping. after the 1 1/2 hour matatu ride out there and the set up of the campsite (and by set-up i mean having someone move a tent for us and me throwing in my sleeping bag to prepare for its maidan voyage), my friend and i rented mountain bikes and headed towards hell's gate national park. my bike was a bit like frankenstein, with mismatched pedals, different gear changer things, and bits of bikes lost since passed. starting a bike ride in the heat of the high noon sun might not have been the best idea but we had to bust a move to make it back before dark.

and what did i learn on this afternoon of mountain biking through a national park and hiking through a gorge?

that cycling through sand is tough. that the gears on my bike actually did change (this was learned AFTER going through all the sand). that when you don't think you need a guide to prevent you from getting lost in a gorge, sometimes you do. that being outside and getting sweaty makes me so happy. and that i hate biking uphill after hiking through gorges.

we made it back to our campsite in time for me to eat a cheeseburger (so that takes care of my red meat intake for another few months), have a cold beer, and some amaretto cheesecake (no chocolate fudge cake for this observer of lent) before heading to bed before 10:00pm. i had a great sleep and was only woken up to the sounds of the hippos coming on to the shore of the lake. they sound sort of like motor boats.

since i had still had only heard and not seen a hippo, we hired a boat for a half hour the following morning to take us out on to the lake so i could see a hippo. we found a family of about 18 of them and they were so cute with their little twitchy ears. but our boat captain made sure we stayed far enough away since hippos (along with buffalo) are as dangerous, if not moreso, than lions. we also saw waterbuck, pelicans, and a bunch of other birds that thankfully did not fly anywhere near my head.

i made it back to town by midday and my flatmate and i took another matatu (my 4th and 5th of the day) to an area not far from my house called kangemi where i spent less than $10 for a fridge full of fresh produce. we had a lot of fun asking all the vendors what to do with the vegetables and normally i don't like more attention being drawn to me because i am a mzungu but this time, we just laughed along with the other people at the market when we asked what to do with half the stuff we were purchasing. my flatmate is an agricultural guru and we both were happy to support local producers and try local vegetables.

sometimes a girl needs tea

it is day 3 of lent and i do not miss chocolate too much. this could be the result of the dismal selection of chocolate in this country, the substandard quality of cadbury's, and the sheer lack of mini eggs. i am not going to lie, giving up something you rarely have is not too difficult. but i have only had 2 coffees this week, which is truly astounding considering the amount of coffee i have been consuming the past month. i have substituted my morning coffee with an evening tea, but it is earl grey and so delicious. and sometimes a girl just needs tea.

lately i have been in need of tea. i am in the middle of conducting some cleansing. no crazy diet or supplements just a cleanse of my life that includes refocusing and rejuvenating. and if that doesn't sound new age-y and flighty, i don't know what does. but i need it and i can credit 25 for teaching me to know myself better and before i left for zanzibar i could sense that i needed a life cleanse and since i have been back i have done well to stay off the booze, the caffeine, the chocolate, and spend time alone doing things that repair.

last night is a perfect example, i went for a run (yay for a whole hour of running), had cereal and taost for dinner, read one of my 3 books on the go by flashlight due to the absence of electricity, practiced my french (or more like stared at my cahier d'exercices blankly and then furled my brow for about a half hour before retiring), listened to ray lamontagne, and went to bed by 10:00pm.

which brings me to another thought i have been thinking lately. often people will say things to me like, 'what an adventure it is to live in africa' or 'what a great experience you are having' and i know what they mean and that their intentions are good, but the reality is that this is just my life and it just happens to be lived in kenya at the moment. i am grateful that i have been given this opportunity (thank you canadian international development agency) and that i have met people who have made it more fun along the way, but this whole 'experience' is my life. tonight i plan on going to french class, getting some groceries, and going to a movie and it doesn't get much more mundane than that.

keeping fit and having fun

• 'Loving one's self is a delicate balance. You have to slowly relearn how to speak to yourself. You have to change your language. Try to balance one bad thought with two good ones. If you think you can't, you won't. If you think you can, you might. If you know you can, you will.' - Jann Arden
• the self talk will be the death of me if i let it
• i saw in the calgary herald online that ParticipACTION's back! i wonder if hal johnson and joanne macleod will host Body Break again.
• i have decided to give up chocolate for lent. yowsa.
• a package of mini eggs arrived in the mail today from canada and i think the phrase goes 'happier than a pig in shit' - what luck that these tiny balls of happiness arrived the day before i am to give up chocolate for 40 days!
• sometimes the universe works things out perfectly
• i can already feel the sore on my tongue developing and i love it - so crunchy and so creamy at the same time

threes and fours

i am in the middle of 3 books (Cloud Atlas, David Suzuki's autobiography, and A Suitable Boy) and this is really going to have to end soon.

i have decided to take french classes 3 days a week after work. the craziest thing i have ever decided to do? probably not, but it will most certainly make me exceptionally busy and make my brain hurt. a lot.

my flatmate and i are have a pancake party tomorrow evening for pancake tuesday. i am making the north american style flapjack-style pancakes which we know are the REAL pancakes and he will make the european-style pancakes that we know and love as crepes. our guests will bring stuff to put on top of mine or stuff inside his. and it will be a delight, i hope.

i am thinking about cutting my hair. to look something like hers. what do you think about that? any suggestions/comments would be appreciated since i haven't had hair above my shoulders in years and although i hate to wrap up my identity in my hair, i am afraid that i have.

the happiest hour

i had my first after-work-happy-hour-special drinks yesterday and the 3 (or 4?) cosmopolitans were enough for me to be feeling pretty happy and sober again by 9:00pm. and the best part of it was that i was in bed by 11:00pm then up feeling fresh and chipper at 7:00am. all of sudden this whole happy hour thing makes so much sense! where have i been all these years between 4:00pm and 7:00pm on a monday night?

when i got home last night i was warmly welcomed with a new oven (previous to this glorious moment, i had been sans oven) which has left me dreaming of apple crisp, chocolate chip cookies, and raisin bran muffins all day at work. that dream was interrupted long enough for my boss to bring me a mars bar which i gobbled up as i rethought about giving up chocolate for lent, still without any decisions.

can i put a request out to the universe to post me some mini eggs?! but not the british kind (suz, wait til you try them, not nearly as good as the ones from the great white north). i know beggars can't be chosers, but really, they just do not compare.

interested in an update on the birthday celebrations? well here you go: i give the evening a 7.5 out of 10. too many sugary shots, great showing of different groups of people, free drinks and free rides, appearances from my full social calendar (but only a text message from the coup), and some friendly reprimands for sending messages after i'd had some red wine (but don't worry, none to 25, that jerk).

i hope to improve on my rating this weekend, however, when my flatmates and i host a cocktail party (or just a party, i still don't know the difference) as a late-birthday/going-away/it's-february-and-i-am-not-wearing-mittens-or-a-toque party. the invite list is sitting at 50 but sure to grow. i've got to represent over here in africa as my parents have become known to throw the best parties in the neighbourhood and that is a reputation that needs living up to if i have ever heard one. although it might difficult without hockey parents, tequila grandma, and the velvet painting.

natural high

that song 'i'm so excited, i just can't hide it, i'm about to lose control and i think i like it... i know, i know, i know i want you. want you' makes me want to dance on a wednesday morning.

'i want to love you feel you, wrap myself around you...' seriously, dancing in my chair here.

i might be drinking too much coffee lately. or i have been naturally hyper this week. yesterday morning i woke up at 6am and went for a run (freaking altitude - i feel like such a light weight running in kenya) and then last night i changed all the light bulbs in my flat that were burnt out, made today's lunch, knit half a mitten while watching The Departed (i give it 1 thumb up, but i give pirated copies of new movies 2 thumbs up), and painted a table. as i didn't have anything like paint thinner to get the paint off my hands afterwards, i am still covered in white. good thing i don't have any important meetings today.

i am also pleased to report that my skin looks less like an adolescent's these days. (no disrespect to my adolescent bros). and i have been informed that the prescription i have for antibiotics isn't even necessary and i can now just go back to the chemist and ask for another month of the drug. and i have been told to bargain on the price of the medication. so, no prescription and bargaining on the price. hmmm.... just another reason why international development doesn't work or a more efficient and streamlined system?

i have been considering lent again this year. as you may recall, i gave up chocolate for 40 days last year. as i write this, i am nibbling on some israeli chocolate treats compliments of the all-woman department i work in. my thoughts this year are to give up coffee (but i love coffee so much, it seems silly to deprive myself of one of the few liquids i consume), chocolate again (but this will obviously be tough with the above mentioned all-woman department), or follow a friend's suggestion and try out the anti-lent. smoke more, drink more, and eat more red meat. i am on board with all of those suggestions apart from the smoking and the red meat.

favourite quote from last weekend: 'for a cave, it is pretty clean.'

i (heart) lists

some things i have been thinking or wondering lately, in list form...

• i love lists
• lloyd axworth is a cool canadian, i wish i had of known how cool he was when he was an mp
• i have always wondered why canada and other countries aren't doing anything in darfur in the sudan and after reading axworthy's book and some other articles i am really wondering why the hell the world isn't doing anything
• lent is going well, i have had chocolate chips in home baked muffins, but i decided that was ok, only 7 more days to go
• why is it so difficult for people to call the inuit 'inuit'? why do people insist on using the word eskimo immediately after it was just explained to them why inuit is more appropriate?
• why do people feed you chicken the very day after you've said you don't eat it? oh well, it was in chicken-finger form which is more handleable and less chicken-like
• this surprise afghanistan visit by harper is too bush-like for me
• i am still struggling with this make poverty history thing - did it just take attention away from the real protesters and the real alternatives to the g8 or did it actually bring awareness to the masses of the relics of colonialism and the effects of the policies of the international monetary institutions that plague the african continent? i am doubtful that there were many people who attended those concerts that have done anything since to combat world poverty, as if the problem was solved with a white wrist band and bob geldof
• i own a white wrist band, but am hesitant to wear it
• does it seem to anyone else that itunes always has a new version to download?
• i have been reading a lot about canadian identity and it has got me thinking that although i love politics and international relations, my favourite courses in my undergrad were those in women's studies, sociology, anthropology, and the liberal arts and if i ever go back to school after this, i think i will study one of those. not for a job, not for any type of world-saving or improving, but just cause i like it
• i keep dreaming that i have eaten chocolate and am disappointed in myself for not lasting the entire lent period, but i am determined to even though my mom sent me mini eggs in the mail!
• instead of deciding on essay topics, i am preoccupied with thoughts of what i will do come september, i am anxious and nervous and incredibly excited even though i am still so up in the air about what it is i want to do first. i have lots of things i want to do, just not sure the order of them all
• i am having a 'breakfast-off' with some friends to settle whether or not canadians make better breakfasts than the british and i think team canada will take it, any suggestions on what to serve at a 'traditional' canadian breakfast? i do think we do breakfast better than any other country i have visited. something about sitting around, drinking cup after cup of coffee and eating something sweet, salty, and spicy all in the same meal. normally not my style, but for breakfast i make an exception
• i've been thinking a lot about my grandpa, he is a cool canadian too, i think anyone who met him would find it hard to disagree with that

grinding my beans and counting my freckles

i think working at a library might actually be sort of nice. apart from the reshelving, the job seems like something that i wouldn't mind doing. the librarians at my university apparently do not feel the same way because they all (except for that one pleasant one who helped me find a book once) are rather miserable and really not nice to interact with. makes my frustration with school in general that much more irritating.

i have spent my friday evening at a coffee shop studying, reading the newspaper, and baking banana bread. very nice way to spend a friday night in february if you ask me. the weather here is great though, i went for a wonderful run this morning and could have actually used a pair of sunglasses!

so far the first day of my lent has gone well. not an ounce of chocolate has passed my lips. only 39 more days to go.

very first lent

the canadian dollar is BELOW 2 dollars for a pound, that is absurd and really quite fantastic. seems as though it is 87 cents for an american dollar too. giddy up canadian dollar! maybe this conservative government will do something for me after all. so when do they start changing the cost of books when they print both the american and canadian prices on the covers? cause that must get all out of whack if the dollar continues to rise like it has been.

i am going to see brokeback mountain again this weekend to celebrate this great fiscal news. well maybe not to celebrate, but to see it again and show off my home and native land to some people who have never seen the foothills or rockies. i will remember to stuff my pockets with kleenex (maybe even the canadian flag ones my mom got for me at christmas).

i have made a rather substantial commitment today and i am really solidifying it by writing in online for all to see, but i am quite serious about it so here goes...

i am going to give up chocolate for lent. now i don't know when exactly lent starts or why exactly you should give something up for it if you are catholic (christian too?) but i do know that it lasts 40 days and that i am going to start lent tomorrow and i will not eat chocolate for a whole 40 (long) days. now this is going to be rather difficult because i have seen mini eggs in the shops here and i am dying to find out if they taste the same as at home and if they are the same colours, but i will just have to wait til the end of my own personal lent to find out. i really think it is best as i have developed quite the little chocolate habit and i need to kick it before it gets out of hand.