get your own damn nest

i knew something was amiss when i woke up with a start this morning and was instantly alert. on a normal morning, it takes me awhile to convince my eyelids to stay open and i am useless at conversation or significant thoughts.

but today at 7:30am, i shot straight up and knew that there was a foreign sound coming from inside my flat that should not be there.

i waited a moment and heard it again, a sound like scurrying or stirring coming from my kitchen. it was the type of noise that would come from a small animal and my worst fears were confirmed as i crept along The Squeakiest Floor Ever to peak into the kitchen to find a small black bird bustling around our breakfast nook, repeatedly flying into the window to join its bird family that lives in the nest above our flat.

i wasn’t sure what to do to get that bird out of my home and it took every last ounce of my courage to even get near the thing as birds are my least favourite animal, second only to bats. but thank goodness for all that LOST watching lately, because i channelled some survival-on-a-deserted-island strength, put on my rubber gloves (it seemed sensible) and grabbed a cotton shopping bag (it was either that or my new tea towels).

but as soon as i got near it, all that deserted island strength disappeared and i just threw the shopping bag on top of the bird, that by now was terrified and stunned. i took off my gloves and considered what i would have to do if the bird died in my flat and figured that that would be just as bad and i would not be able to just leave it there for 5 days until my favourite soldier gets home. and i was having a conflict of conscious of not helping the poor animal when i knew that i could.

i considered opening the window wide so that the next time it tried to break free, it could join its family that was swirling around, chirping as if they knew someone was missing, but then i had a Hitchcock like image of more coming in and taking over my newly nested kitchen. (i think it had erroneously squeezed in through a tiny crack at the top of the window, thinking it was its nest, silly thing)

i had no choice but to put the gloves back on and grabbed a piece of cardboard that i figured i would use to scoop up the bird. but when i finally close enough to the bird and in a burst of adrenaline, used the shopping bag to wrap the bird and twisted it up, opened the window when no other birds were nearby, and put it down on our 3rd floor ledge.

as i quickly closed the window it realised it was free and flapped its wings and flew away. i was still afraid that it might be disoriented and fall off the ledge, thus still making it my problem, but lo and behold, the bird flew away. which i guess i should have suspected because that is what birds do, even injured ones.

so much for those lovely, open german style windows!