Wednesday, September 17, 2008

a good time to be going home

(september 15, 2008)

sitting at the hannover airport, sipping a warm cappuccino, wrapped in a handwoven scarf from kenya, i am ready for this. ready for the shock of cold weather during a canadian winter and ready for rebuilding and rediscovering. as the day that I Move Home approached, i have been thinking, ‘am i ready for this?’ and really, is there ever an answer to that question? are you ever ready for anything? what the hell does being ready even look like?

all you can ever do is prepare as best you can and gather your hopes together in case you are in need of defence then go for it. readiness is not something that can be measured, collected, and packaged for each event or activity. it is fleeting and misleading and, at its worst, overrated.

i have done what i can, but i realise that most of what will need to be done cannot be done yet. and i will have to be patient with myself and the universe. because sometimes when you give something to the universe, it can’t respond right away. i guess you must just trust that it will.

am i ready to stop being the person who lives in africa, who is a regular at heathrow, who works in development and parties like a rockstar? not entirely. but i am ready to expand who i am to include something more. and maybe that is as ready as i can ever can be.