Monday, January 28, 2008


i spent last night at home, watching pirated tv shows on my laptop, roasting vegetables, and hanging out by myself even though i had just got a new haircut and would usually want to take it out. i was content then and am content now. i am feeling that it is such an effort to get together with people, to get dressed nicely enough, and make conversation lately. i have done my part and made appearances when i felt up for it, but i have been happier just staying in and being at home. my nest is coming along (with the new Piece of Art) and i am still convinced that it will be complete with the addition of a kitten...

i am afraid, however, that my homebody style will instil feelings of loneliness if it continues. but nairobi is already wearing on me even though i have been happy since i returned in early january. its lustre is fading and if i could have thrown my iced coffee at the woman who erroneously told me today that the wireless internet would work at another location, i would have.

i have spent at least a few hours at my office every day this week. i have fielded 2 phone calls today asking me to do things for people that are so far outside of my job description (or terms of reference, as they are called in the biz) that i was so frustrated and annoyed that i had to take a nap to cope with the stress of a sunday afternoon that was meant to be my break. calling me to ask me to ask me to follow up with somaliland, the dutch, and cida? on a sunday afternoon? after i was in the office because the lady that told me that i could use the internet at their restaurant over the phone was wrong? are you freaking kidding me?

maybe i am just not cut out for this. but the only problem with that is that i don’t know what else to do. i am good at my work, but not at this life. at least not today. i need a holiday.

i did manage a short run this morning. and my lungs did not come out of my chest and my legs are not throbbing with the pain that comes when you sorta kinda forget to run for a few months. let’s hope this bright, sunny weather and good health sticks so i don’t have any precipitation or sinus infection excuses to not continue.


La Cabeza Grande said...

Gosh, I'm so sorry. Your frustration is coming through loud and clear. It does take a lot of effort to pull yourself together and go out with friends. I think you're on to something with the running. It may help lift your spirits.

Take it from me: isolating oneself is never the real answer to what's bugging you.

Anonymous said...

or you could be here enduring the -40 (with the wind chill) winter! love ya!

kels said...

ummm might want to skip coming home to -46 degrees.
maybe you need a girlie day at your pad with a couple close pals, wine, movies, good food and great know a sweatpants day!