if you try sometimes, you get what you need

i am almost there. almost done my dissertation. i re-read parts of it yesterday and started the conclusion and i am pleased with what i have done. but it is now sunday afternoon, i have a touch of the hang over, and i haven't even started working today. let me explain.

yesterday afternoon, a perfectly wonderful autumn saturday afternoon, a friend and i went to the shop to get some tomatoes and milk (the necessities when tomatoes are your favourite vegetable (fruit, whatever) and you love lattes) and that is when i had what i will now refer to as The Sighting. the first time you see an exboyfriend following a break up. now sometimes this happens immediately after the break up and is not so awkward, just tough. but when the last time you saw the person was almost 4 months ago and at that time you were still together, it is incredibly awkward.

so what do i do when he smiles at me? yes, i give the ummmm.......yeah.......sure.......hi smile. it was not a nice one and one i wasn't sure i was even capable of that sends the message of ef off. which is not the message i want to send at all!

and then all those wounds that you have been tending and mending for the past 3 months felt as though they were torn back open. as i was mildly (ok, more like totally) shaken by the entire encounter, i procrastinated my way through the afternoon and then got motivated to work only after i was invited out for drinks by a gentleman suitor. i managed to write half a conclusion and put make up on and do my hair (which once i took out of its permanent bun-like contraption, realised has been neglected and is far Too Long) to which aforementioned suitor remarked, 'you look like a girl.' and i don't even think we can blame this one on language barriers.

a night of drinking and dancing ensued and i had a really great time. no thinking about how foreign aid is disastrous or about The Sighting. red wine, late night pasta, hips don't lie, and lots of laughing. however, now i am doing anything and everything (save for clean and pack) to avoid finishing this conclusion. i kinda don't want it to be done. partly because i have really enjoyed doing it and partly because that means that the next phase of my life has to begin and i have no idea where my next home will be.

i had heard of this "Your Name AND needs" google thing before but did it today and the results were too good not to share. i never thought having the same name as a video game super heroine and a cricketer would be so entertaining on a lazy sunday afternoon.

Lara Needs...

• a hair cut (how did they know?)
• to make the running water around a small barn stop
• to use stealth just as much as she does combat maneuvers and jumps (my favourite)
• new breasts (i kid you not, that actually came up, however, i disagree!)
• a Sussex lift (maybe related to the previous need??)
• him to be happy
• to move boxes from one side of a giant balance to the other (with an impending move, this one seems pertinent)
• 212 runs
• to be praised for her tenacity and courage
• a magnetic grapple
• to interact with her environment to solve a puzzle (another fav)
• the help of some of her friends to accomplish this goal (i don't know what goal, but i couldn't agree more)
• 6MB of hard disk space
• to be stronger
• no lessons on tact or diplomacy from anyone (i could seriously use lessons on tact)
• to go to Chen Lo in China (sounds good to me!)