Sunday, September 10, 2006

if you try sometimes, you get what you need

i am almost there. almost done my dissertation. i re-read parts of it yesterday and started the conclusion and i am pleased with what i have done. but it is now sunday afternoon, i have a touch of the hang over, and i haven't even started working today. let me explain.

yesterday afternoon, a perfectly wonderful autumn saturday afternoon, a friend and i went to the shop to get some tomatoes and milk (the necessities when tomatoes are your favourite vegetable (fruit, whatever) and you love lattes) and that is when i had what i will now refer to as The Sighting. the first time you see an exboyfriend following a break up. now sometimes this happens immediately after the break up and is not so awkward, just tough. but when the last time you saw the person was almost 4 months ago and at that time you were still together, it is incredibly awkward.

so what do i do when he smiles at me? yes, i give the ummmm.......yeah.......sure.......hi smile. it was not a nice one and one i wasn't sure i was even capable of that sends the message of ef off. which is not the message i want to send at all!

and then all those wounds that you have been tending and mending for the past 3 months felt as though they were torn back open. as i was mildly (ok, more like totally) shaken by the entire encounter, i procrastinated my way through the afternoon and then got motivated to work only after i was invited out for drinks by a gentleman suitor. i managed to write half a conclusion and put make up on and do my hair (which once i took out of its permanent bun-like contraption, realised has been neglected and is far Too Long) to which aforementioned suitor remarked, 'you look like a girl.' and i don't even think we can blame this one on language barriers.

a night of drinking and dancing ensued and i had a really great time. no thinking about how foreign aid is disastrous or about The Sighting. red wine, late night pasta, hips don't lie, and lots of laughing. however, now i am doing anything and everything (save for clean and pack) to avoid finishing this conclusion. i kinda don't want it to be done. partly because i have really enjoyed doing it and partly because that means that the next phase of my life has to begin and i have no idea where my next home will be.

i had heard of this "Your Name AND needs" google thing before but did it today and the results were too good not to share. i never thought having the same name as a video game super heroine and a cricketer would be so entertaining on a lazy sunday afternoon.

Lara Needs...
  • a hair cut (how did they know?)
  • to make the running water around a small barn stop
  • to use stealth just as much as she does combat maneuvers and jumps (my favourite)
  • new breasts (i kid you not, that actually came up, however, i disagree!)
  • a Sussex lift (maybe related to the previous need??)
  • him to be happy
  • to move boxes from one side of a giant balance to the other (with an impending move, this one seems pertinent)
  • 212 runs
  • to be praised for her tenacity and courage
  • a magnetic grapple
  • to interact with her environment to solve a puzzle (another fav)
  • the help of some of her friends to accomplish this goal (i don't know what goal, but i couldn't agree more)
  • 6MB of hard disk space
  • to be stronger
  • no lessons on tact or diplomacy from anyone (i could seriously use lessons on tact)
  • to go to Chen Lo in China (sounds good to me!)


Joy said...

Ouch! The Sighting sounds tough. Did you know that the ever lovable, yet sickeningly overplayed song "you're beautiful" was written about one such encounter? Perhaps you will inspire such a song one day :)

Isn't that needs thing really neato?

kristen said...

I praise you for your tenacity and courage.