Tuesday, August 25, 2009

getting some thoughts unstuck

i've been lost in my own thoughts lately and haven't been able to clearly articulate things to myself or others, but i am trying to get back on top of it. and with that, a post.

i signed the legal documents for my new nest and although it was sort of scary to think that i now have this responsibility to pay to live every month after living for free for nearly a year, i was very excited and even took a trip round the nest this weekend and reconfirmed that i will be living in one of the best neighbourhoods of this city.

yesterday i had a meeting with my bosses and it seems that although i had tucked a project away for a hiatus this summer, i still need to revisit it as much as i had hoped it would be forgotten. but the feedback i received from them in general was glowing and that put a spring in my step.

AND, in other work-related news, i have been offered a colleague's spot on a hot air balloon this week! i have been hot air ballooning once before and it ranks up there with riding in a helicopter of one of my favourite things so i am really hoping that the weather this thursday cooperates however weather must cooperate to allow for safe and happy air ballooning. and i'd also like to think that this opportunity is a result of the relationships that i have developed outside of my immediate working group and common ground found with a variety of different people around my office. so, yay me.

after a week off from running, i went back at it with a vengeance and had a great run last night. my knee feels fine today and although my hip now has a twinge, i am going to happily stay active and be thankful my knee pain didn't turn into anything more detrimental.

here is a very theoretical question i would like to put out to the universe: where is the line drawn between compromise and sacrifice? i fear that i no longer have the ability to judge this best for myself and that while i used to feel i knew, i am now wondering what fits into which category. and when does a compromise becomes a sacrifice that breeds resentment and ill feelings? i'd love a little food for thought on this one as i remain stuck in my head for at least a few more days. and because i am not exactly the world's best compromiser or sacrificer.

and, while i am at it, another question for the universe: how, if at all, do you uninvite someone to a committee that is technically open to the public?? i am struggling with this in one of my jobs and i keep coming to the ethical dilemma of whether or not it is within my role to cut someone out of a group who i feel misguides and misdirects conversations towards topics that we are not set up to address. a very cryptic description, and i realise that you probably have no clue what i am even on about here, but i am really curious with this one and i've been rolling it around in my head with all the other thoughts stuck up there, with no obvious resolution.


Anne said...

Awhile back, I stumbled on the book Crucial Conversations, and wished I'd had read it sooner. There may be some ideas in it you'd find helpful on the committee attendance limitation/exclusion issue. Whether or not you read the book, here is a link to their website, where you can sign up for their email newsletter for free; you'll find out about their approach from their columns. It's all about standing up for what you need, and maximizing getting what you want, and it might help.
Here is the link:

k said...

I've got nothing for your committee dilemma, but as for the other...
By definition, compromise implies a "happy medium" and that there is an element of give and take. Sacrifice by definition, however, is purely about giving something up or giving something away or getting rid of something.

The way I see it, when you compromise, some of it comes out of joy or giving- because you know you are getting something back and you know that others have given a little as well. So you are less likely to end up with bad feelings about it. When you sacrifice, it is more out of necessity- you're giving up something without much hope of getting something out of it. Sometimes you can do that without resentment, but I think it is more likely to breed bad feelings.
(as usual- just my opinion)

I absolutely agree that you are moving to a great neighbourhood! I'm a little jealous...
And stretch those hips. Your knee issue actually could have resulted from a hip issue- many running injuries are the result of tight or weak hips.

lu said...

anne - i overheard someone talking about that very book, perhaps i should look into it. part of the problem is that i know that without this person, the meetings would be so much more productive. i just need to figure out HOW to uninvite someone. and whether or not she can inflict any harm on the group if she is excluded...

k - i think you put it so well! i was, as usual, overthinking things, and you gave me some clarity that i haven't been able to find until now.

and what if your hips are too loose? have you ever heard of this problem? mine tend not to be too stiff, but too bendy...

k said...

If your hips are loose, you might actually want to see someone like a physiotherapist (or my sister's chiropractor that does active release...i really liked her). He or she might be able to teach you what you need to strengthen and pay attention to- loose hips can really cause problems...if you know what i mean (ok no, but it really felt like it fit there)