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here are a few things i would have tweeted (if i was a tweeter) this past week while in san francisco:

i just witnessed san franciscan road rage: ‘in front of you, fag!’ followed by ‘woah, lesbian bitch!’

just realised that i carry no less than 10 lip glosses around with me when i had to put them in a plastic bag to go through airport security.

i am in heaven. otherwise known as the petite section of banana republic.

i just ate mexican food that nearly made me cry. it still might.

wow, that’s gay.

i am not sure if my bartenders play on my team, but they keep pouring me wine.

just rode an elevator that i’m pretty sure doubles as the homeless’ toilet.

totally rocking the dress/pant combo because i got too cold and had to buy a pair of pants.

going into an unmarked club down an alleyway in an industrial part of a city i do not know. totally safe.

sitting on a balcony in an old victorian house drinking pink champagne overlooking the city and the bay. magical.

in a matter of 5 minutes saw a man preaching abstinence and telling me that jesus loves me and asked to sign a petition overturning prop 8.

just ordered my coffee in spanish, by accident.

in the castro, feels like a pilgrimage. and i am not even a gay man.

iced coffee with mint in the castro with my san franciscan tour guide/bartender/date.

i could live in the fitting rooms of antropologie and come out at night to admire all their wares.

no frye boots in my size. shame.

red wine + clam chowder + view of the ocean + cute hispanic servers = why don’t i live here?

some streets smell considerably better than others. like this one.

seeing black homeless people is strange to me. homeless people in calgary don’t tend to be black, do they. interesting observation.

yowsa! forgot about the terror alert level announcements at the airports. no wonder everyone’s paranoid.

the cure for a hangover = panna cotta + fish tacos + heirloom tomatoes + blue bottle coffee.

organic raspberries are not necessary sweet raspberries.

i think i love facials. and magi, who did mine.

when he asked if he could give me another croissant with my purchase, who was i to say no?

even the people working in the retail shops seem happy to be helping you!

is my flight delayed because my pilot is trying to floss a seed out of his teeth?!